


Dear Kihyun

by Solariumlunar



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, At some point you'll hate me, Drama & Romance, Hints are hidden within the story, M/M, Mentions of Jinyoung and JB, Mpreg, Non-Graphic Smut, Orange AU, Since im a sucker for angst, Slow Build, Smut? Not really, Some Humor, Supernatural Elements, Suspense, Thriller
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2018-11-20 21:23:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 48,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11343441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solariumlunar/pseuds/Solariumlunar
Summary: If you are reading this it means you already met him.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at summaries, but I really hope you like this story.. Its been with me for a while and I apologize for the format and stuff like that since im writing on my phone. 
> 
> *important info???sort of* 
> 
> *Call me either Sol or Luna 
> 
> *This is my first fanfic on Ao3 
> 
> *I love comments even if they're not positive ones, I might sound thirsty but that's how I am, feedback are really important even if they aren't positive all the time, it helps me improve and give out a better result so if you want leave comments pointing my mistakes or flaws I don't mind on the contrary it will help me grow, but if you don't want to either i will understand.
> 
> * if you have any questions please let me know, I would love to be friends. 
> 
> *enjoy the story, and don't be rude to others 
> 
> * I will update as fast as I can 
> 
> :3

**~Prologue~**

 

_When you touch me, my entire body reacts_  
I can only live if you’re here  
Every day, every night  
I can feel you ~Beautiful (Monsta X )

  
It was a comet. The boy saw the comet and he felt as though his life had meaning. And when it went away, he waited his entire life for it to come back to him. It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty, meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again... And his belief  in love and art would be re-awakened in his heart. The boy saw the comet and suddenly his life had meaning.


	2. 1. Miss you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People say that where there's a hello there's always a Goodbye

 

**Part 1: Lost**

 

The coldness of the afternoon makes Yoo kihyun shiver,his last class is over so he decides to go home. His friends call him and he turns smiling at them walking to meet them when he bumps into someone making Kihyun drop his books and the tall guy tries to apologize.

"I'm so sorry..." Says the tall guy,with a smooth voice that makes Kihyun shiver again .

"It's okay just watch where you're going"says Kihyun, bending to grab his books, and the tall guy decides to help him making eye contact with the most painfully beautiful person he has ever seen in his life, he gives the books and Kihyun thanks him.

"I'm Hyun...." The tall guy tries to say but Kihyun just walks away without saying anything else.

"I'm Son Hyunwoo and it looks like you're going to ignore me" says Hyunwoo observing the boy get with his friends laughing at something one of them say making him look 100 times more beautiful. Hyunwoo turns getting in his old 1967 Black Chevrolet Impala, driving away turning once more to look at Kihyun earning a mad look from one of his friends that clings into the boy, Hyunwoo drives away just when Kihyun turn finding nothing.

"Are you okay, did he bothered you?"asks Minhyuk still holding into Kihyun that hits him with elbow,making the boy let go.

"No, we just bump into each other" says Kihyun smiling at Hyungwon and Jooheon that nod at him.

"I heard he's a new student, no one knows much about him" says Hyungwon with his blinding smile that makes all of them smile including the people passing by, he has type of impact.

"Anyway party at my house tonight, Are you in?"asks Jooheon, while Kihyun wonders if Mr and Mrs. Lee are home or not but he decides to go anyways, being popular without attending parties is like being rich and not spending a dime.

"What time does it start? He asks

"9:00 pm See you there" says Jooheon telling them he has practice with the basketball team.

"I have dance practice, see you"says Hyungwon walking away and Kihyun smiles at him spacing out a little.

"What's going through your mind?"asks Minhyuk bending a little to be at the same height as Kihyun, the one looks at him half serious and half smirking.

"Lots of things, and Minhyuk we talked about this thing called personal space"says Kihyun playfully pushing Minhyuk that laughs at how adorable Kihyun looks while smiling.

"Fine, see you at the party if you excuse me I have a debate to take" says Minhyuk smiling at Kihyun that nods and looks at him go. Kihyun walks noticing the car waiting for him to take him home, he walks closer feeling the states of both girls and boys making him both happy and annoyed. The driver takes him home, as Kihyun observes the outside he doesn't live too far from school, his house is located in one of the richest parts of Seoul,South Korea. He and Minhyuk had been neighbors since before they were born, Jooheon lives three houses from Kihyun and Hyungwon on the other side of the private houses. He can spot his house mainly because of the door, remembering how many times he cried for it. Kihyun thanks the driver getting inside the house, leaving his jacket on the closet smelling the same vanilla scent his house has.

"Good evening Grandma"he says once he leaves everything looking at his old grandmother that smiles showing her wrinkles.

"Kikie how was school today? "Asks his grandma with her sweet voice.

"It was good, have you eaten yet? "

"Yes, I left you food in the kitchen. I'm going out today, I have to buy some flowers you want to join me ? "

"No" says Kihyun with a broken voice, remembering the day.

"Kikie it wasn't your fault"says his grandmother

"I know" says Kihyun still feeling bad, today is the anniversary of the death of his parents, Mr and Mrs Yoo died in a car accident of which only Kihyun survived, it was a miracle according to the doctors he wasn't supposed to survive but he did, but with his aftermath because to this day he doesn't like cars, speed nor he drives.

"It's been 10 years" says his grandmother making him feel bitter, he nods and excuses himself to go to the kitchen, but his grandmother stop him.

" Kikie there's some letters for you In the kitchen table, I have to go. Take care love you always " says his grandmother hugging the boy that reciprocates the hug, letting his strong grandmother go away. He walks to the kitchen, noticing a pot with kimchi soup so he grabs some along with some rice eating slowly.lookig at the 3 letters in the table, the first one is from the college he apply to, the second one is an invitation for a party and the third and last one gathers his attention the most because it only says " **Kihyun** " there is no address or anything like that.

"Probably granny wrote it for me" he mumbles to himself, leaving it be while he eats, finishing and thanking for the food totally forgetting his grandmother is not there, he washes his plate earning a mad look from the cleaning service. He gets to his room upstairs and starts with his homework ignoring the third letter that mocks him, one of the maid ask him if he wants something. 

"Just a green tea please" he says finishing his homework looking at the envelope wondering what did his grandmother wrote him, but when he opens the letter there is something strange  **Jungnang District, Seoul South Korea. November 24th 2021**. the handwriting isn't the elegant and neat like his grandmother if fact is exactly like his handwriting.

**Dear Kihyun**.

_You might wonder who am I or what is this, it's also scary for me as well.Im not even sure if you're going to get this letter in the correct time, but if you're reading this it means you already had contact with him....I hope you did, the tall guy you bump with today is really important to me, to us you don't know that yet but he will become the most especial person in your life. His name is Son Hyunwoo but we call him Shownu, Wonho came up with it and it stick...oh sorry you probably don't know who he is yet. Have you seen a guy in a motorcycle that looks like he could murder the whole school? That's Shin Hoseok and he's the biggest fluff ever, he has a crush on Hyungwon and will get together in the future, not married tho but together. You probably think how do I know this? Because here in 2021 it already happened, I am you but years older and regretful._

_I need your help ....Shownu... He committed suicide many years ago and I couldn't do anything to save him, no one noticed since he was a positive person always trying to help others and we never noticed, until it was already too late. Kihyun I need you to save him from himself, I don't want you to reach my age and be just like me, don't get me wrong I'm happy I got married with Lee Minhyuk a few years ago, we haven't been able to have kids since ~~my miscarriage~~_ _..._

_Kihyun don't get scared this is real I know it must be crazy to get a letter from the future, but I don't want you to commit the same mistakes I did, be kind to him he will teach you many things, your first love....kiss and even.... sorry I went too far..I know you won't believe me so... Today is Jooheon's party and Minhyuk asked what's on your mind. Today is mom and Dad's anniversary of their death is been 10 years since they passed away, you don't drive for the same reason. You're drinking green tea because it helps you study and relax...I could go on but I made my point._

_Is a lot to process and it must be hard for you to believe me, but I'm not lying to you not even a little.i want you to save him please he deserves to be happy, people say that if you change something in the past then it will affect the future that famous Butterfly effect, the desicions we make are the ones that define who we are, so I don't want you to do what I did, don't be what I am now I did so many things I'm not proud of._

_Today at Jooheon's party don't force Shownu to sing, he will get embarrassed and don't attend school in two days, don't lie to yourself and make me write again. Remember to take care of yourself,be patient and kind, be strong since I know you miss mom and dad. Take care of granny, she will come back sad from the graves hug her and be kind. I love you, please be strong and have fun tonight, just be there for Shownu we miss him so much....the day we found out he killed himself was the worse day of my life, I'm grateful Minhyuk was there to give me the support I needed, that make me fall in love with him...._

_Take care. I have to go now....see you_

**Sincerely**.

**Kihyun, 2021.**

 

Kihyun let go of the paper landing on the ground, trying to process the information he just got. He can even feel the tears running down his eyes because he hasn't blink even once from the shock, Kihyun stands up grabbing the letter deciding to call his friends.

"I didn't send you anything" say all of them when he ask them about the letter, making him more confused, hearing the door open. Getting out of his room he notices his grandmother on the verge of tears, and is like a slap in the face. 

"Granny? What happened?" 

"People, insulted my dead daughter how dare they!" She says and Kihyun gives her a hug, almost crying as well.

"Just ignore them, everything will be fine" he says as his grandmother hold him tight. 

"What did the letters say?" She ask cleaning her tears.

"Nothing just college stuff" he lies 

"Oh alright, I'm going to my room have fun at the Lee's don't come back too late"says his grandmother.

"Alright,love you always" Kihyun says going to his room and gets ready for the party, trying to distract himself from the letter.deciding that he's not going to follow since he is not sure who wrote the letter.

**~2021~**

"Are you ready? "Asks Minhyuk, while Kihyun looks up from his notebook smiling at him.

"Yeah, everything is ready just let me finish this sentence and I will be right there"says Kihyun

"Don't take too long,love you always" 

"Love you always" says Kihyun looking at Minhyuk walk away and he finishes the sentence, standing up rubbing his neck. He closes the notebook and gets downstairs helping Minhyuk with the food, once they get everything in the car they get inside and Minhyuk drives towards the place they will meet the others. As he looks at the familiar road feeling Minhyuk hand and he grabs it, he hopes his past self doesn't do something stupid.

"I trust you Kihyun" he mumbles breathing slowly,closing his eyes he thinks how much they miss Hyunwoo but today a little more than usual.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for leaving you hanging, I was going to post it yesterday but my phone deleted everything and I cried. 
> 
> Let !me know what you guys think, don't hesitate to ask any questions.
> 
> If it's too confusing don't worry it will become clearer in future chapters.
> 
> Take care and I will update this week, bye bye . (+_+)(^^)


	3. 2.Ready or Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There are no accidental meetings between souls."  
> -Sheila Burke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 2 enjoy I will update as fast as I can.
> 
> I'm introducing some of the other characters, and let me know what you think.I love comments they just made my day.
> 
> Love Sol.

Music can be heard from miles away, along with the bright lights emanating from the open windows. If it was another neighborhood police probably would already come to stop the loud noise,but since is the richest neighborhood no one cares or are home to complain. Kihyun walks inside the house, the smell of cigarettes and alcohol is really prominent but the music makes it worth it. Many people stare at him as he walks to get something to drink, and looks at the options in the table. 

"Kihyun! You came," says Jooheon running to meet his friend, getting stuck now and then by the amount of people there. 

"I wanted to come and check out one of your parties, I've heard they're epic,"screams Kihyun since Jooheon is still trying to get there.

"Thank you, I know it must be hard....HEY DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!... Excuse me!!,"screams Jooheon running to get the piece of art his parents love more than him, Kihyun laughs and gets something to drink nothing with alcohol since his alcohol resistance is pretty low. He could get drunk and is the last thing he wants to do since tomorrow they have school. 

"Having fun?," Asks Minhyuk scaring Kihyun,that hits him on the arm. 

"You scared the soul of me," nags Kihyun making Minhyuk laugh, noticing how the boy space out a little. 

"How are you feeling?, "

"Great, can you tell? I mean is the greatest day of my life, " says Kihyun sarcastically leaving his soft drink and grabs a beer, drinking it fast thinking about his parents.

"Cut the sarcasm, Kihyun give me that, you don't even drink,"says Minhyuk trying to get the can out of Kihyun hands, but the boy moves away still drinking it. 

"Stop that," says Minhyuk managing to grab the can but Kihyun doesn't let go.

"Kihyun stop don't make a scene, I know it hurts you stop,"says Minhyuk while Kihyun lets go of the can grabbing another one and runs towards the back door finding the backyard with people kissing and others pass out on the pool. Kihyun sits in the grass next to a tree, trying to find stars but they're barely noticeable because of the lights in the city. He keeps drinking until he feels tipsy, noticing smoke next to him. A person you wouldn't want to mess with because it could kill you with just starting at you. 

"That's bad for your lungs,"says Kihyun to the person.

"The burning sensation on my throat is the only thing that makes feel alive,"says the person firm and confident. 

"I'm Yoo Kihyun, by the way,"says Kihyun but when he turns the smoke is gone, the person is not there anymore he didn't even hear the person leaving, Kihyun stands up a little tipsy but manages to get inside hearing they starting with the Karaoke, he can notice Minhyuk talking with someone and he walks to him to ask if he wants to sing with him.

Hyunwoo arrives at the address everyone was talking about at school, noticing a boy with a scary expression leaving on his motorcycle, while small boy with a pretty done expression tries to stop him, but the other one just leaves him. 

"Are you okay?,"asks Hyunwoo 

"Not really, I don't have a ride home anymore...he can screw himself, I've been his friend since elementary school but it's always been this way... I'm Changkyun by the way Lim Changkyun ,"says the small guy with a pretty deep voice, looking at Hyunwoo that smiles at him. 

"Son Hyunwoo," 

"I've never seen you before and trust me I know everyone at school,"says Changkyun 

"I just moved from Chang-Dong," says Hyunwoo thinking about home. 

"I'm from Gwangju, that explains why. Are you going inside? It's a wild party, but the music is awesome," 

"Sure,why not?, "Asks Hyunwoo walking inside the huge house, that is full with people he doesn't know or hasn't even see at school, the music is pretty loud but some what enjoyable. What gets Hyunwoo's attention is the angel like person that shines among the lights, Changkyun follows his eye sight noticing is Kihyun. 

"Yoo Kihyun, one of the most popular guys in school.he tends to ignore people but he's also a honor student with great grades and community service..half of the school has a crush on him," says Changkyun while Hyunwoo keeps looking at the stunning person Kihyun is, he feels attached to him but doesn't know why. 

"Yoo Kihyun,I love how his name sounds," says Hyunwoo noticing Kihyun turning confused as if he would heard him, Hyunwoo starts walking closer to the boy as Changkyun observes from afar feeling like someone is watching him closely but when he turns there is no one. 

"Lee Jooheon," he whispers walking on the other direction.

Kihyun walks towards his friends noticing Hyungwon dancing at the rhythm of the music, Kihyun doesn't get surprised Hyungwon dances to anything with rhythm on it. When he feels someone calling his name and somehow it sends shivers down his spine turning into a different direction looking at the boy he saw this morning Son Hyunwoo.

"Sing with me,"says Kihyun grabbing Hyunwoo and drags him towards the stage, Minhyuk turns wondering what is going on. 

"I don't sing,"says Hyunwoo a little shy 

"I know you can," says Kihyun as the song starts and the powerful voice of Kihyun comes out, making Hyunwoo get lost in that powerful voice that some how is calm and somehow smooth. When his part comes Hyunwoo can even talk getting nervous and someone starts laughing at him.Hyunwoo drops the microphone before Kihyun can say something to stop him, Minhyuk takes the microphone and starts singing with Kihyun.

Hyunwoo gets outside breathing heavily,and gets in his car driving away fighting the feeling of throwing up. 

"That was so embarrassing I'm not going to school," he says driving home and the song ends, everyone applaud making the boys smile getting down the stage.

"Thank you, next we have Lim Changkyun," says Minhyuk reading the names in the board, Changkyun stops dancing getting to the stage. None of them scare him not even Lee Jooheon, besides he befriended the most scary person in school fear is not something he has. Minhyuk helps Kihyun down and get towards the candy table. 

"You have improved,"says Minhyuk 

"Shut up," says Kihyun

"That's why I like you," says Minhyuk grabbing one of the candies, Kihyun looks at him confused. 

"Are you flirting with me?, " Asks Kihyun looking at Minhyuk in the face. 

"I have for the past 10 years thanks for noticing,"says Minhyuk and Kihyun pushes him playfully, Minhyuk starts getting closer and Kihyun hugs him deciding to go home. 

"I'm going home, see you tomorrow," says Kihyun letting go and walks home, once there he falls asleep as soon he puts the head on the pillow. The next day he regrets his life choices,since he wakes up with the most painful headache ever, promising himself he will never touch alcohol again. After taking a shower he changes and asks one of his maids for some painkillers, walking to the kitchen he finds his grandmother reading the newspaper drinking some coffee. 

"Fun night right Kikie? How your head?," Asks his grandmother as Kihyun smiles painfully. 

"Do you want me to call your School?,"asks his grandmother

"No, I have my physics test," says Kihyun eating breakfast feeling a little better,the maid gives him the painkillers and he thanks her walking to the door. 

"Have a great day, love you always," says his grandmother

"Love you always," says Kihyun getting in the car, noticing Minhyuk's car is not there, wondering if he is already at school. Once he arrives at school everyone stares at him mostly because half of school didn't attend after the epic party. He gets to the table they usually sit while Minhyuk and Hyungwon talk about something.

"Our nagging machine came,"says Hyungwon

"You look like shit," says Minhyuk making Kihyun done.

"Thanks I was inspired by you, where is Jooheon?,"asks Kihyun sitting trying to find his friend.

"According to my contacts,he wasn't able to wake up," says Hyungwon drinking some water, Kihyun nods trying to find the so called Hyunwoo but he's no where to be found.

"if you make him sing he's not going to school,'"kihyun remembers the letter feeling guilty because he didn't change anything,the bell rings and he gets to his physics class getting a perfect score on his test, the rays of sunshine get his attention especially because of all the places it hits. 

"Mr. Yoo pay attention to the class," says the teacher making the boy jump apologizing to the teacher. 

Hyunwoo looks at everyone at school trying to not get anyone's attention, but he doesn't go inside noticing someone parking his motorcycle, he takes his helmet out showing his gray dyed hair, taking also his shades. Walking like he doesn't care about anything, Hyunwoo can notice Changkyun approach the boy smiling full of life making Hyunwoo smile at their differences, the scary one doesn't get inside making Changkyun done and follows the boy, turning to make eye contact with Hyunwoo waving at him to come he follows them to the back of the school,where they find the boy dressed in all black about to light a cigarette but Changkyun takes it out of his mouth. 

"What the hell?," He says angry about to punch someone on the face, but when he notices is Changkyun he stops and sits again putting the lighter on his pocket. 

"What did we talked about? This is Son Hyunwoo and will sit with us today," says Changkyun sitting next to the guy.

"Hello, and I don't care what your name is," says the boy and Changkyun hits him in the head.

"It's fine," says Hyunwoo sitting next to Changkyun that grabs his history book since is his first class,while the boy in black takes a beat up notebook writing something down,making a little rhythm with the pen closing his eyes. Hyunwoo observes them making Changkyun rise his face smiling at him.

"His name is Shin Hoseok, because he's so rude to introduce himself,"says Changkyun.

"Hey! My name is too holy to be spread like nothing, just call me Wonho," says Hoseok and Hyunwoo nods.

"Where are you from?," Asks Hyunwoo

"Gyeonggi" says Hoseok, deciding to continue with notebook making Hyunwoo wonder what's their story, why did they leave their home town's and come here.

"What brings you two here?,"Hyunwoo asks while Hoseok closes his note book getting the lighter out of his pocket along with a cigarette.

"Do you mind?," Asks Hoseok

"I do, but I already know I'm going for something to drink you want something?,"asks Changkyun standing up.

"Some coke," say both of them and Changkyun leaves, Hoseok lights up the cigarette feeling the smoke on his throat and breaths slowly, looking at Hyunwoo that keeps wanting.

"I've been waiting to be a composer for as long as I can remember, music is my first love.My parents love me don't get me wrong but they wanted me to be more realistic with my dreams,but I couldn't do it so I run away to pursue my career.And finally prove what I'm capable of I want to be a son they're proud of,"says Hoseok almost making his voice break but it doesn't and continue smoking, Hyunwoo doesn't say anything nodding slowly.

"I like you,"says Hoseok making Hyunwoo jump.

"Why?,"wonders the boy.

"You don't ask questions like everyone else,"says Hoseok finishing the cigarette.

"Who am I to judge what I don't understand?," Asks Hyunwoo making Hoseok nod, and Changkyun comes a bit later with their drinks and gives to them that thank him. 

"I'm guessing is my turn, I don't have a dark past or anything, my dad is a scientist so we move a lot because of his job. I lived in Boston for 3 years and Israel for about 4 years before coming back to South Korea so here I am I love rapping my parents agreed as long as I have good grades and graduate"says Changkyun taking some notes in his room. 

"Why did you come to Jungnang ? Hmm was it Hyunwoo? Can I call you Shownu?,"asks Hoseok while Hyunwoo smile liking the nickname, as he remembers why he left Chang-Dong as the boys wait for him.

"Well...I," says Hyunwoo but the bell rings making Changkyun stand up telling them he has to run towards his History class.

"Aren't you going to class?,"asks Hyunwoo.

"No," says Hoseok opening his notebook again.

"I can't believe you're in honors," says Changkyun running away as Hyunwoo notices the books Hoseok has are either AP or IB feeling more intimidated by Hoseok.

"Yeah me neither,but I'm smart what...,"says Hoseok but his words get cut when Hyungwon smiles at him walking along one of his friends towards his science class and Hoseok keeps looking at him, Hyunwoo follows his sight and finds him looking at Hyungwon.

"You like him?," Asks Hyunwoo curious.

"Of course, Chae Hyungwon shines with his own light"says Hoseok closing the notebook and stands up.

"I'm going somewhere, see you later Shownu," says Hoseok walking away and Hyunwoo stands up as well since he's not going in.

"Good bye Wonho," he says walking towards his car observing Hoseok putting his helmet and drives away in his motorcycle.

**~2021~**

Hoseok takes his notebook because inspiration can come at any point during the day, dropping his old notebook finding a picture of everyone inside making him feel bittersweet because he loves that picture but it also reminds him what day it is.

"Wonnie?," He asks making Hyungwon come out of the dancing room they have at home.

"Yes?" Ask the boy a little tired.

"Today is the day isn't? I can't believe Shownu is gone," 

"I know,it's still unbelievable for me, it surreal because he was a really bright person I'm guessing he couldn't take it anymore.... Kihyun called me telling me to meet in Shownu's place to remember him," says Hyungwon thinking how hard it must have been for Kihyun since he loved the boy so much they both did.

"Then let's get going, bring extra food,"say Hoseok making Hyungwon done but he grabs some anyway, knowing how much Hoseok can and will eat. 

"Lest use your motorcycle, I miss it we never use it," says Hyungwon

"We literally had se.... Fine get in,"says Hoseok when Hyungwon looks at him pretty serious,they walk to the garage Hoseok looks at the motorcycle getting nostalgic giving Hyungwon his helmet and grabs his own.Hoseok gets in and Hyungwon hugs him from the back, feeling the adrenaline rush when Hoseok turns it on, Hyungwon screams excited, making Hoseok smile feeling the wind on their bodies going to the place Hyunwoo loved. 

 


	4. 3. All in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hyunwoo?".........

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ I know it took me a while to update sorry I was busy this couple of days, so I'm sorry but I'm kinda sorta back. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, and also for those wondering yeah I based the story on Orange the anime and manga series, but not fully you will see later as the story progress, since the concept grab me so much. 
> 
> Leave some comments I reply back most of the time *winks* and also thank you for the kudos ^_^ 
> 
> Love,Sol <3

The last bell rings making everyone get out of school excited, Kihyun gets out of his AP Economics class feeling the air moving his hair getting a flashback. " _if you close your eyes and extend your arms, you can feel like flying,"_ the voice of his mother says in his memory,that's the only thing he has of his parents just memories. 

"Kihyun? What are you doing?," Asks Minhyuk observing Kihyun with his eyes closed and extended arms, that jumps at the sound of Minhyuk's voice. 

"Nothing,"he says opening his eyes slowly, walking towards his driver's car and Minhyuk follows him, Hyungwon says goodbye noticing Jooheon rushing to have at least one of his class, because he could finally wake up. Hyungwon laughs and gets in his car driving home, noticing a motorcycle that follows him as if the person is making sure he gets home safely.

"Lest study together,"says Minhyuk

"You don't even study,"says Kihyun with the most done voice ever. 

"I'm not good at this,okay?,"says Minhyuk and Kihyun nods walking getting inside the car, lowering the window. 

"I know..see you Monday, take care,"says Kihyun telling the driver to take him home, Minhyuk waves at him turning noticing Hyunwoo observing Kihyun go, Minhyuk starts to get closer but his phone rings before he can reach Hyunwoo.

"Hello, yeah mom I will" says Minhyuk walking away, but still manages to make eye contact with Hyunwoo,the boy can feel the anger on his sight deciding to not get in between them. Hyunwoo gets in his car driving home, knowing that his apartment is empty he lives on his own since he left Chang-Dong.

"I'm home,"he says remembering no one is there,a habit that never fully went away,he starts cooking. Sitting on the table hearing how his phone rings none stop,but he never answers because he know who is it all the time. 

"Stop it," he screams at the phone almost throwing it at the wall,but he doesn't deciding to eat some food and search something on his computer. 

**유기현 (Yoo Kihyun)**

Kihyun gets home saying hello to his grandmother that reads in the porch,and notices Minhyuk coming home along with his mother Mrs.Lee who he hasn't seen since he was 7, but some how she still looks the same. 

"Kihyun, is been a while, how's your mom?," She asks making Kihyun bitter but still manages to smile. 

"Fine" he says with a broken voice

"Say hi to her for me, and tell her to call me so we can catch up," says Mrs.lee getting inside her house without letting Kihyun say anything else, Kihyun looks at Minhyuk and walks away towards his grandmother. 

"There is a letter for you, and eat some food. I'm going to drink some tea with my friend's, take care love you always,"says his grandmother and Kihyun hugs her. 

"love you always,"he says getting inside, hearing his grandmother get in the driver's car.He walks to the kitchen noticing an envelope with his name on it, without names or address asking one of his maids if she can bring the food to his room, Kihyun gets to his room deciding to do his homework first and doesn't touch the food until he's done with homework. Once he finishes, he opens the letter eating the cold food. 

**Dear Kihyun**

_I know it must be hard for you to get used to the idea that yourself is writing you from the future,but I'm asking you in the most non desperate way possible.DONT DO WHAT I DID!! you're going to lose him if you keep doing this, I don't want you to go through my pain. Today we visited Shownu's place you'll know it later on it has one of the best views of the city, I've noticed how much all of us have change over the years and the death of Shownu._

_I wonder how would he look at this point of life, if he would become a choreographer or not, if he would have been happy or not, ~~Hyunwoo~~ Shownu will be good to you. Stop acting as you don't care, or trying everyone to like you.Your beauty is stunning on its own already, don't let popularity come up to your head, in a few years it will mean anything. _

_Most of all be thankful for what you have right now and take care of it, sometimes you will have to go all in, by the way do you remember mom? Or dad ?I been trying to remember them but I can't.I remember the vanilla scent and mom's perfume, she never told me the brand or the name the scent is just in my memories, I wish they will be here but I can't._

_Kihyun I know is still hard for you, but be patient and careful. Is okay to be scared being scared means you're going to do something great, Monday is when he's going back to school along with Wonho and I.M and if you're wondering yes Shin Hoseok and Lim Changkyun, you haven't seen them but believe me they're really important. There is a picture inside, look at it and think about your life choices, stop wasting your youth trying to grow up, youth is never coming back._

_I have to go once more, Kihyun sometimes the way you think about a person isn't the way they actually are, I have to go now please be safe and don't let your wards down.I love writing to you but I can't all the time and also remember Shownu is always hard. Good bye love you always._

**Kihyun, 2021.**

Kihyun opens the envelope again finding a photograph, of himself and the tall guy "Hyunwoo," he thinks touching it slowly since they look happier than he ever has been in his life, and the boy in the picture looks at him with so much love making him smile. He grabs the other letter treating them like a national treasure, deciding to call Minhyuk that answers at the first ring. 

"Hello?," He answers 

"How are you?," Asks Kihyun trying to keep the conversation going.

"Good? Why are you calling me? Did something happen?,"asks Minhyuk with a worried voice.

"Come over,we need to talk," 

"I can't I'm having an existential crisis," 

"My grandma is not home,I need your help," says Kihyun but he only hears breathing on the other kine, making him really mad. 

"Are any of us really, truly... Home?," Asks Minhyuk making Kihyun hang up the phone deciding to look at his year book wondering who Lim Changkyun and Shin Hoseok are.He finds their pictures that are so different from one another,while one smiles brightly the other has a death glare towards the photographer,even making Kihyun scared. He is also part of the orchestra at school lead piano and Cello, Changkyun is in the art club, and is also part of the science club. Kihyun decides to call Hyungwon since he knows mostly everyone at school. 

"Hello?," Answers the boy on the last ring 

"Wonnie I need your help," says Kihyun

"Sure, what you need?," Asks Hyungwon with a tired tone 

"Do you know Lim Changkyun?," 

"Sophomore, really good at science I believe he's in honors in that class, he and Jooheon are supposedly nemesis but in secret they love each other, he is a carrying person and most of the time he's smiling" says Hyungwon and Kihyun takes notes. 

"Classic, do you know Shin Hoseok?," 

"Why?did he asked about me? Did you talked to him? How does his voice sounds?,"asks Hyungwon with a different tone on his voice, a more exited voice making Kihyun smile because Hyungwon is so obvious on his crush.

"No, I was just wondering," 

"Oh, I don't know much about him, he's really reserved with what he says, he only has one friend which is Changkyun, He's also part of the orchestra I've never seen him play and once was the captain of the basketball team.. that's all I know," says Hyungwon

"Thanks,you helped me a lot wonnie," says Kihyun

"No problem,see you Monday"says Hyungwon hanging up the phone, Kihyun leaves his phone and grabs the picture, walking until he gets to his window looking at the sun setting at the distance. He blows some hot air into the window creating vapor and writes.

_손현우 ( Son Hyunwoo)_

Kihyun turns away and walks to his parents room, but there is nothing there since all their things were moved away to not accumulate dust, which makes him sad because he doesn't have anything to remember them, he falls to the ground holding his knees. 

Jooheon gets inside his history class since he had a test today, the class room is empty except for one person Lim Changkyun that doesn't even look at him but holds his sight to the teacher.

"Lee you're about 8 hours late, I hope you study for the test and the different seas since is oral," says Mrs.Oh tuning to the door , and Jooheon nods getting to this seat.

"I understand," he says 

"Good, it goes for you too Lim," says Mrs.Oh 

"I don't get why am I here, I was just 5 minutes late" says Changkyun pretty annoyed.

"If you didn't spend so much time with Shin Hoseok maybe you'll be better,so get your priorities first,"says Mrs.Oh 

" You don't know him," says Changkyun

"Neither do you," says Mrs.Oh giving the writing part first and they look at the paper pretty annoyed.writhing slowly finishing the test about the same time avoiding as much contact as they can, when Mrs.Oh gets the world's seas standing in front of them.

"Name this seat," says Mrs.Oh pointing at the sea.

"That's the dead sea, the saltiest place on Earth, second only to Changkyun's bitch ass" says Jooheon and Changkyun looks at him with a done face, praying for patience.

"Be quiet please,"says Changkyun

"Correct,but stop it," says Mrs.Oh pointing at another sea 

"That's the sea of Cortez the smallest sea, just like Jooheon's I.Q "says Changkyun making Jooheon pretty mad. 

"What did you just say?, Aish this kid is making me mad, my head hurts" says Jooheon putting his hands on his face. 

"That's your brain trying to comprehend it's own stupidity," says Changkyun making eye contact with Jooheon, in both hate and happiness, feeling a connection that goes beyond physical. Mrs.Oh gets confused standing in front of them deciding to walk outside.

"Where are you going, Mrs.Oh?,"asks Changkyun

"Well that depends Lim, when I die probably hell but right now I'm going to the bathroom,"says Mrs.Oh walking out of the class room,while the boys wonder what to do, Changkyun wonders how did Hoseok managed to take that class in honors since is hard as it is. 

"How can you be Shin Hoseok's friend? You don't know what he did?,"asks Jooheon making Changkyun stop playing with his pencil.

"Don't be like them,"says Changkyun pretty serious.

"He's not good"says Jooheon remembering the boy that ended in the hospital,at the edge of dying because of Hoseok, besides the fact that he always looks like he's about to kill someone. 

"You don't know him,"says Changkyun

"And you do?, " 

"Yes, more than you think. Why is everyone so mean to him? Who are you to judge what you don't understand?," Says Changkyun standing up walking away putting his test in the table and a note, Jooheon doesn't look at him go, he just stands and looks at the other sports practicing.

"Lee, where is Lim?,"asks Mrs.Oh making the boy scared holding his chest, and notices the note along the test, Jooheon doesn't say anything and goes back to his seat, waiting for security to bring back Changkyun. 

"Welcome Lim," says Mrs.Oh when security brings back Changkyun.

"Am I in trouble?," Ask Changkyun

"Take a guess," 

"No?," 

"Take another guess,"says Mrs.Oh while Changkyun sits looking at the ground, waiting for Jooheon to turn in the test, the boy finally finishes correcting the test and turns it in,while Mrs.Oh looks at them but the connection is not there. 

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs?," Asks Jooheon breaking the silence between them,even making Mrs.Oh turn since she ships them together, Changkyun turns breathing slowly.

"If you say 'addictionary' I swear to God I will cut you,"says Changkyun pretty done. 

"I was going to say 'high definition' but yours is better,"says Jooheon making Changkyun laugh dropping the tension between them, Mrs.Oh finish grading the tests deciding to fall asleep. 

"Mrs.Oh? Can we go now?,asks the boys and she nods, they walk away finally free getting to the parking lot, and Jooheon stops Changkyun giving him something that looks like a letter. 

"Give that to Shin Hoseok," says Jooheon walking away.

"What is it? Why!?,"asks Changkyun but Jooheon just walks away getting in his car leaving Changkyun confused. 

"YAH LEE JOOHEON!!!,"he screams making the soccer team turn concerned, Changkyun apologizes and  walks towards the bus stop, wondering if it's a love letter or something like that but he doesn't open it respecting Jooheon and Hoseok's privacy.

**~2012~**

~~~~~~~~"hey, do you like me!?" Asks Jooheon screaming making Changkyun drop his coffee mug, because of the scare.

"Really? Heoney, we are married" says Changkyun going for the broom and dustpan and Jooheon decides to help him.

"Okay but that didn't answer my question. Are we married as friends? Or in a romantic way? Unclear," says Jooheon making Changkyun laugh and decides to grab another cup of coffee.

"Today is the day isn't it? Wonho called me this morning," says Changkyun making both of them stop what they're doing almost crying again, because who wants to get a phone call from the boyfriend of one of your best friends crying at the verge of a mental breakdown, telling you that he's gone from this world with no apparent reason what so ever. 

"What did he say?,"asks Jooheon

"We're going to Shownu's place, do you want to go?,"asks Changkyun.

"Of course, he was one of our best friends," says Jooheon, finishing and they get in the car, driving to the place his friend just to love, everyone is there except for one person that should be standing next to Kihyun instead of Minhyuk that grabs Kihyun's hand strongly, they do love each other but for some extrange reason Changkyun and Jooheon doesn't trust him. 

"No one should know about this place,just Kihyun,"says Changkyun.

"Just be thankful and remember Shownu," says Jooheon closing his eyes, as Changkyun does the same wondering what happened today a few years ago, the investigation concluded it was a suicide but some how some things don't match up, but he will not say anything for Kihyun's sake. Since out of everyone he was the one with the closest relationship with Hyunwoo since they were together. 

"Is everyone here?,"asks Minhyuk while everyone nods and he raises his cup up to the sky. 

"For Shownu,"says Minhyuk while they can feel the pain of everyone around them, really wishing his friend was there with them but that is not going to happen.

"Woo are you here? Please we want to know what happened," says Jooheon as the air blows moving his hair making him open his eyes, noticing someone standing next to Kihyun but is only seconds before it disappears.

"Shownu?,asks Jooheon but there is no one anymore making him a little weirded out. 

"Are you okay?,"asks Changkyun noticing the boy scared, looking at Kihyun that says something to Minhyuk smiling a little.

"I saw Shownu,"says Jooheon

"What?,"ask Changkyun scared as well.

"I saw Son Hyunwoo"he says making Wonho turn along with Hyungwon, that look at them with a hurt expression. 


	5. 4. First love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some names will always taste bitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ *drops the update and hides* I! I'm sorry for taking too long I've been really busy lately and out of home. 
> 
> Let me know any thoughts you have in my story, if you see any grammar mistakes I apologise since English is not my first language.
> 
> Pay attention to everyone, clues may be hidden within the sentences. 
> 
> I hope you have a great day and night. 
> 
> Sol~

The rays of sunshine coming from the open window, illuminates the room that once where of Mr and Mrs.Yoo, Kihyun's grandmother walks inside looking for the boy. Finding him sleeping on the floor, trembling is not the first time she finds Kihyun on the floor, when his parents died he just sleep in their rooms floor. His grandmother goes to him moving him slowly, triggering a memory. 

"Rise and shine Kihyunie," says the voice of his mother in his memories.

"Mom?," he wonders trying find her.

 "Wake up, you disgrace of the family. Go and be the disappointing child you are, you did this to us!!," their voices scream at him, making the boy snap his eyes open scarring his grandmother, as he cleans the sweat of his forehead searching for his parents. But they're not there not anymore, he breaths slowly facing his grandmother,that looks at him with an concerned face.

"I'm sorry," he says slowly standing up a little dizzy. 

"Kikie is not your fault," she says, going to the hurt boy that holds into her with all his might, since she's the only piece of family he has left. Since his father was an orphan and his grandmother never had other kids besides his mother.

"I just miss them," he says letting go 

"Me too, go take a shower and eat some breakfast is 9:30 but is Saturday so there is no school," says his grandmother as Kihyun looks at the empty room,that once was full of color, maybe his parents where never home but they try to do things with him at least for a while. 

"I totally forget today was Saturday," says Kihyun confused because he never forget things that easy, he brush it off telling himself he's just tired. He gets in the shower thinking about the letters that is on his mind lately. Once he's done and changed he gets down to eat some breakfast. 

"Granny? Do you believe in the butterfly effect?," He asks eating some of his oatmeal. 

"Not really, I believe the choices we make define us and how we interact on the future, remember if something bad happens you only got 3 choices, you can let it define you, you can let it destroy you or let it straighten you," says his grandmother making Kihyun nod, thinking about showing his grandmother the letters because maybe she would understand them better. 

"Excuse me a bit," he says standing up going almost running to his room, he finds the letters going downstairs, his grandmother is reading something on the newspaper. He sits next to her giving her the letter so she can read them.

"My future self is trying to contact me to save someone from killing himself...my first love,"says Kihyun as his grandmother looks at him worried but still decides to read them, but there isn't a single word written down just a receipt attached to it. 

"This is a receipt of cheetos," 

"Ignore that, can't you see it?," 

"Kihyun there's nothing here," she says trying to find something but they're are just blank pieces of paper 

"I'm going crazy,"he says looking at the letters with information on them, and breaths slowly getting himself together.

"Do you want to see Doctor Han again? I know you're under so much stress,"says his grandmother making Kihyun breath deciding to get some fresh air, to clear his mind a little. 

"I'll be back, love you always," says Kihyun walking away, he observes his Street also hearing Mrs.Lee leaving along Minhyuk, Kihyun waves at them and walks without any specific place on mind, he finds a old park close by deciding to get in the swings that make a rusty sound every time he moves. Kihyun looks at the sky spacing out not hearing someone coming to sit next to him. 

"What are you looking at Kihyun?," Asks the voice of Jooheon that takes the boy out of his trance, blinking so his eyes stop burning since he forgot to blink.

"Nothing," he says

"You been spacing out a lot lately, is everything alright?,"

"No," 

"You want to talk about it?," 

"No," says Kihyun as Jooheon,sits in the next swing. Not many people pass by or cars which makes them relax more.

"Do you perhaps know Shin Hoseok and Lim Changkyun?," Ask Kihyun making Jooheon stop the swing abruptly almost falling, looking at Kihyun with fear and anger written all over his face.

"Don't mention those names, ever. Shin Hoseok only means danger and Lim Changkyun...only means trouble, stay away from them," says Jooheon walking away, Kihyun tries to stop him but it doesn't work. Making him more confused since his future self is asking him to get in touch with them, and Jooheon warn him about them. Kihyun walks to his house, finding his grandmother drinking some tea.

"Who is Son Hyunwoo?," Asks his grandmother making Kihyun stop his tracks turning scared, as she puts her cup of tea down. 

"Why?," He asks back 

"It was written on your window," 

"He's a member of Monsta X don't worry about it," he says making his grandmother confused. 

"I didn't know you liked Monsta X, you know people always told me you look exactly like Yoo Kihyun from Monsta X even share the same name, anyways clean that up and get ready to go shopping," says his grandmother making Kihyun nod and go upstairs, making hi breath slowly looking at the name in the window cleaning up the name wondering what Hyunwoo is doing. 

Hyunwoo wakes up by the loud noise of his phone, he opens his eyes rubbing them slowly not distinguishing the contract name since he's not wearing his glasses. 

"Hello?,"he answers with a husky voice

"Look who decided to answer,"says the voice of his brother, that came straight out of hell for him making him really scared.

"What you want?,"he asks without using honorifics, as his brother laughs in the other line.

"You know what I want?,"he says 

"I'm not going back," says Hyunwoo hanging the phone, deciding to take a walk getting out of his apartment. Even though he doesn't know much about his new neighborhood,but gets out anyway. Thinking about Chang-Dong and the reason why he can't go back, but gets out of his thoughts when he notices a park with a boy around his age. That shines with his own light, reading a book.

"Hello,"he says making the boy turn smiling, and closes the book. 

"Hello,"says the boy as his smile makes him smile even more, making Hyunwoo smile too relaxing a little.

"My name is Son Hyunwoo," says Hyunwoo

"Nice to meet you, my name is Chae Hyungwon,"says the boy as Hyunwoo sit next to him in the swings.

"You can call me Shownu,"says Hyunwoo

"I like it," says Hyungwon 

"Do you live close by?," 

"No, I just love this park it's always empty so it's relaxing,are you new here? I've seen you just recently,"says Hyungwon 

"I moved from Chang-Dong," 

"Welcome to Jungnang then, I'm not from here either. I was born in Gwangju and moved when I was 10,I still visit since some of my family is there," says Hyungwon open up a little making him really happy because he's making new friends. 

"Sit with me at school, I don't think hyunie will mind, maybe Minhyuk but not that much," says Hyungwon looking at the boy that observes him with attention.

"Hyunie?" 

"Yoo Kihyun, a little sassy but a great person once you met him," 

"I would love to, I will tell my friends to join. Shin Hoseok and Lim Changkyun," he says getting Hyungwon's attention shining even more.

"Shin Hoseok? You actually talked with Wonho? I can't believe it, I been wanting to talk with hi! Since my freshman year" says Hyungwon excited.

"He told me that you shine with your own light,"says Hyunwoo making Hyungwon smile even more 

 "Oh my God!!! I can't even.. sorry I have to go, we can talk at school. See you Shownu," says Hyungwon running towards his car and Hyunwoo nods walking back home hoping that, by Monday everything is more smooth than before. Hyunwoo gets home and grabs his computer looking at the picture of Kihyun smiling making his heart skip a beat.

By no time it's already Monday,both boys wake up and get ready to get to school. Kihyun asks the driver to give him a ride and Hyunwoo takes his Chevrolet Impala, both take different routes but get there at the same time, Hyunwoo can notice Kihyun holding what looks like heavy books in one arm while he thanks the driver.

"Yoo," says someone making some people turn but not Kihyun that just ignores the person getting inside, Hyunwoo gets to his classes that sadly doesn't share with anyone since Changkyun is a sophomore and Hoseok is in honors along with Kihyun so he's alone. When lunch comes everyone runs to eat something and Hyunwoo finds Changkyun trying to find Hoseok.

"I'll go to you,"says Changkyun running, and Hyunwoo turns bumping into someone noticing is Kihyun, that holds his books thight.

"I'm sorry,"says Hyunwoo making Kihyun look at him confused.

"Don't worry about it, you are Son Hyunwoo right? How rude of me I'm Yoo Kihyun nice to meet you," says Kihyun offering his hand which Hyunwoo shakes making them feel a connection  _"I know your name,"_ thinks Hyunwoo looking at the boy smiling at him still holding his hand. 

"Shownu! And Kihyun come here,"says Hyungwon making them let go of their hands and walks towards the table, Hyungwon laughs with a boy that Hyunwoo doesn't know and Kihyun next to another one whose name he doesn't know. While Kihyun wonders how does Hyungwon knows Hyunwoo's nickname, since he hasn't even meet Hoseok. 

"Sit we don't bite,"says Kihyun and the boy sits next to him, smiling at the other boys.

"I'm Lee Jooheon, nice to meet you,"says the boy that was laughing with Hyungwon, noticing he's part of the basketball team.

"Son Hyunwoo nice to meet you too,"says the boy observing Kihyun more closely loving how his side looks and the top dimples that show every time he laughs making him look more beautiful. 

"I'm Lee Minhyuk,"says Minhyuk and Hyunwoo looks at him saying nice to meet you, Kihyun notices two guys getting closer trying to figure out where he has seen them before and it clicks Shin Hoseok and Lim Changkyun.

"Your friends are here,"he tells him and Hyunwoo stands up waving at his friends, Changkyun happly walks closer but Hoseok doesn't move a bit, Changkyun looks at him and the boy breaths getting closer. Noticing Chae Hyungwon making him really nervous but there's also Lee Jooheon that makes his blood boil every time he looks at him.

"Welcome,"says Kihyun the boys sit and Minhyuk hits Kihyun with his elbow, the boy gasp turning mad.

"Are you kidding me? Shin Hoseok and Lim Changkyun have you lost your mind?," Whispers Minhyuk

"Don't judge, trust me,"says Kihyun making eye contact with Minhyuk that has always had a soft spot for the boy, Changkyun and Hoseok sit awkwardly at the table feeling the tension increase.

"So that means we're all friends now? We can do normal things people do like go to brunch," says Hyunwoo 

"What the fuck is brunch?," Asks Changkyun making everyone laugh and drop the tension a little but Jooheon keeps looking at Hoseok with hate written all over his face.

"you got my letter?," he asks without using respect making Hoseok turn looking at him and nods. 

"And?," 

"I burn it, I know what it says Lee I'm not doing it," says Hoseok making Jooheon even more mad. 

"You have to Wonho!!," he screams at Hoseok, everyone turns concerned.

"Leave him be Lee Jooheon,"says Hyungwon serious. 

"Oh bullshit you only saying that because you're in love with him, everyone is fucking scared of him we don't need people like him! Go away!,"screams Jooheon as the people stops walking looking at them worried pointing fingers at Hoseok whispering things to each other and some even run. Hoseok doesn't say anything standing up slowly, still holding the eye contact.

" You need people like me, so you can point your fucking fingers and say that's the bad guy," says Hoseok walking away, Hyungwon stands up running towards the elder trying to grab Hoseok but he moves his arm. 

"Stop I.M," he says without turning.

"I'm not him but I can bring him to you if you want,"says Hyungwon, Hoseok turns to meet the gaze of the love of his life and how breath taking he is in person.

"Stay with me," he says 

"I will,"says Hyungwon, meanwhile in the table Changkyun grabs his things, standing up almost going but turns to look at Jooheon.

"I hate you so much, you know very well that he's not bad and yet you rudiculize him in front of everyone, amazing you deserve the asshole of the year award Lee Jooheon," says Changkyun running away to follow Hoseok, Jooheon sits in the chair putting his hands on his face holding his basketball shirt strong. Minhyuk tries to touch him but Jooheon stands  up running away, and the bell rings leaving Minhyuk, Kihyun and Hyunwoo together. 

"I have to go to class, lest go Kihyun,"says Minhyuk but Kihyun doesn't move mostly because he doesn't know if he changed something in the future or not and Hyunwoo observes Kihyun.

"Kihyun, let's go," 

"Go ahead I'll be there,"says Kihyun, still looking at the empty space the boys left.

"Alright see you then, bye Shownu,"says Minhyuk smiling at him and walks away. Hyunwoo smiles back thinking how kind he looks. Kihyun stands up grabbing his books and Hyunwoo grabs his backpack.

"See you then?,"asks Hyunwoo

"I don't want to go," says Kihyun

"Then don't, you look so familiar to me have we met before? Because I swear this is not the first time we met" says Hyunwoo, Kihyun drops his books wondering if he also get letters from the future, but yet again he isn't in the future at least not anymore, but Kihyun feels the same way since the moment they bump into each other the only difference is that he knew they met before. But that even with that information he blushes at the way Hyunwoo is looking at him the way children look at fairytales. 

**~2021~**

 

Changkyun gets closer to Hoseok, not saying much just looks at how the sunset start forming in the horizon, of the view that Hyunwoo always loved. 

"It's been a while I.M," says Hoseok remembering the time they made him skydiving and he almost had a heart attack. Missing Hyunwoo even more, since they would talk about anything. 

"I know Wonho, how are you two? Finally getting married?," Asks Changkyun

"No, we're good like this," he says hearing Hyungwon and Jooheon talking about something, turning to look at Kihyun standing alone since Minhyuk got a call from work. The air makes his dark hair move, but he keeps that position observing the colors Hyunwoo loved. 

"I don't think he ever got over the shock, since Shownu was his first," says Changkyun while Hoseok nods.

"His first love, of course he never got over the shock he was the one who found him....," says Hoseok

"Jooheon saw him, Wonho I saw Shownu Too,"he says not too loud so Kihyun doesn't hear. 

"I believe you...just don't tell Kihyun he's barely keeping in together," says Hoseok, Kihyun turns facing his friends that smiles at him but somehow he feels like someone else is watching him, but is not Minhyuk either.

"Do you think Shownu is watching over him?," Ask Hyungwon 

"Of course, It's Shownu he would always protect him," says Jooheon, as he notices Kihyun petting his stomach a habit that never went away, since there is nothing growing inside him it hasn't for years, Hyungwon walks closer to Kihyun and hugs him making Kihyun relax. 

"I miss him,"says Kihyun, turning to see the sun go down.


	6. 5. You and I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos.”  
> ― Don Kardong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise again for leaving like that, I had some things to do. 
> 
> Also I got a pain on my right hand, so I can't write that much but I will try even going against my doctor, it isn't that bad. 
> 
> Let me know what you guys think, thank you for the kudos and all the support I really appreciate it have a great day/night. 
> 
> Sol~

 

Kihyun can hear the last bell ring, but ignores it because he doesn't feel like going to any of his last hour classes, unusual coming from him. He feels the need to know more about Son Hyunwoo his future self keeps talking about, deciding to study his reactions and actions to get some clues if he's depressed or not, so far he looks normal. Kihyun has read some articles stating that sometimes you never know when a person is actually depressed or not since some break so suddenly you never notice. He feels safe next to him, weird since he doesn't usually socialize like that, and not to mention is the first time they ever talk. 

"Where do you think, Wonho and Hyungwon went?," Asks Hyunwoo voice that always manages to make the boy shiver, because of how smooth and relaxing it is.

"I don't know," he says trying to think in a place Hyungwon would go but he's sure if they're going to be there. They get to the parking lot noticing Hoseok's motorcycle is not there.

"They left, I wonder if Changkyun is okay. Do you want to go somewhere? Pick  place you want to go,"says Hyunwoo.

"I've never ditch a class before, I don't know where to go,"says Kihyun starting to realize is the first time in his entire life that he didn't attend any class.

"Then come with me," says Hyunwoo offering his hand to Kihyun that stares confused not saying a word.

"Give me your hand,"says Hyunwoo. Kihyun moves his hand slowly and gives him his hand, feeling the warmth of the boy. They get to Hyunwoo's car, Kihyun let go of the hand getting inside the car putting the seat belt right on,turn to notice Hyunwoo is not wearing his.

"Please use your seat belt,"says Kihyun getting worried, remembering how his mother broke the front window by the impact, when she flew out the window just because she wasn't wearing her seat belt. Hyunwoo nods noticing how worried the boy looks, and puts it on. Driving to an Ice cream shop, Kihyun holds into the car, not because Hyunwoo is a bad driver is a side effect of the accident, that won't ever fully go away.

"What's wrong?,"asks Hyunwoo when he stops at a red light.

"Nothing, I'm okay," 

"You look scared,am I going to fast?," Asks Hyunwoo, Kihyun shakes his head letting go slowly trying to relax, but as soon the light changes he holds again with his dear life. Hyunwoo gets to the ice cream place and parks the car, while Kihyun observes the place like a little kid.

"What flavor would you like?," Ask Hyunwoo.

"I don't know the flavors," confesses Kihyun a little embarrassed.

"Is your first time getting ice cream?,"

"No, I just haven't had one in a while," 

"Diet?," 

"No, my grandma has diabetes so we don't buy any," says Kihyun and it hits him that no one knows about that, is the first time he ever talked about it, with a complete stranger. He smiles shyly, but Hyunwoo doesn't question anything else.

"I will get you some vanilla if that's ok," says Hyunwoo

"Yeah, Thanks do you want money?," 

"No, it's fine," says the boy getting inside asking the worker for some Ice cream, decorating them with chocolate and candy, Kihyun looks at the car that's clean and has a picture of a family, wondering if that's his family. Kihyun opens the door when Hyunwoo comes back with the Ice cream, getting inside and gives it to the boy. 

"For you," says Hyunwoo as Kihyun smiles looking at the ice cream.

"Thanks, you like sweet stuff right," he ask making the boy laugh. 

"Yeah, can you tell?," 

"Just a little bit," says Kihyun laughing a little, Hyunwoo eats his ice cream observing Kihyun that still manages to look stunning while looking at the ice cream, Kihyun grabs a scoop of ice cream falling in love with the taste but also triggering a memory. 

_"Mom can we get ice cream?," Asks Kihyun's voice when he was about 7 years old, making hearts in the window  with the vapor. His mother turn smiling at him._

_"Wait until we get home," says her calming voice, while little Kihyun pouted._

_"Don't reward him as if he did something nice at school," says the voice of his father making the little boy sad since it wasn't completely his fault, the other boy was taunting him calling him names, he got mad a bit the other boy in the arm. It wasn't a big deal but the school made it a huge deal, calling their parents._

_"It wasn't my fault," he says holding into the book_

_"You're trying to get attention don't you? Stop doing things like this for attention Kihyun you're an honors student act like one," says his father making Kihyun cry throwing his book._

_"That's enough Shin,"says the voice of his mother as they stopped at a red light, taking her seat belt off to give him the book back._

_"I'm giving you vanilla your favorite,"says his mother giving him his book, sitting back._

_"Stop pampering him Mirae, we are talking when we get home," says Mr. Yoo while Mrs.Yoo started to put her seat belt back when a car hit them at the back making the car shake moving forward._

Kihyun let go of the spoon staining his shirt and pants, feeling the tears running down his eyes, Hyunwoo turns almost chocking on his ice cream throwing out of the window holding Kihyun in his strong embrace.

"It's okay Ki. I'm here.. I'm not going to leave you,"says Hyunwoo Kihyun holds him feeling a little more safe than before, Hyunwoo let's him go slowly and they make eye contact getting closer, but stop still holding their sight.

"I think you and I have a connection from our previous lives," says Hyunwoo. Kihyun opens his eyes wide getting out of the car holding his chest because of how fast his heart is beating. Asking himself if Hyunwoo also gets the letters but remember that his future self is dead.

"I didn't meant to offend you," 

"You didn't, it's just I have a lot of my mind, "says Kihyun turning to face the boy that nods 

"Let me take you somewhere," says Hyunwoo 

"Where?,"asks Kihyun getting inside the car.

"My special place," says Hyunwoo starting the car driving to the so called place, while Kihyun looks at the sky.

The air feels refreshing of the skin of Hyungwon, considering is the first time he ever gets in a motorcycle. Enjoying the sensation of freedom he has, wondering if it's what Hoseok feels every time he gets in. Hoseok smiks when he feels the hands of the boy on his weist and how warm it makes him feel. Hoseok stops the motorcycle, and Hyungwon notices they're in a park where parents play with their kids and some kids play with their friends. The boys walk to the swings,some of the parents grab their kids when they see Hoseok, and wonder how a person full of light can be next to him.

"Just be yourself, say something nice,"says Hyungwon saying hello to the kids that smile at him.

"Which one I can't do both,"says Hoseok trying to smile but no one gets close to him, Hyungwon just smile and there is suddenly a bunch of kids asking him if he's an idol, he talks with them and Hoseok notices something that makes him stand up  walking towards a kid that looks so sad. 

"Hello little one, are you okay?," He asks making the little boy turn, there is no fear on his eyes just sadness.

"No Hyung, just no one wants to play with me," says the little boy, Hoseok looks at the basketball ball and decides to play with him, putting his jacket on the ground along his things. 

"I'm playing with you... what's your name little one?," Asks Hoseok lowering to be the same size as the boy.

"Song Wonshik," 

"Wonshik ah, I'm Shin Hoseok let's play," 

"Yes, Shin hyung," 

"Just call me Wonho hyung," says Hoseok, the little boy nods and they start playing, getting surprised at how good the little boy is both of them concentrate in winning still smiling at one another for time to time. He is so into the game he cannot hear Hyungwon cheering for him along the kids he was talking with, until they make eye contact and he can read his name coming out of Hyungwon mouth. The one has only heard of Hoseok playing, and now he is watching him play observing how his body moves gracefully in the Court, Hoseok asks for time out walking to Hyungwon.

"Cheer for the little boy, not me...his name is Wonshik.. please," he says and Hyungwon nods.

"I will, go!," Says Hyungwon pushing Hoseok to the court, telling the other kids to cheer for the little boy making him really happy.

"GO WONSHIK AH!,"screams Hyungwon along with the kids, making the little boy feel happy, and manages to win against Hoseok that smiles at him knowing how important is for the little boy.

 "It was a good match, see you later Wonho hyung, my mom is here,"says the little boy walking with his ball.

"Keep playing you'll be big one day,"says Hoseok as he lays in the ground, and Hyungwon lays next to him.

"That was nice, I wasn't wrong your smile is actually pretty," says Hyungwon making him laugh.

"Not as blinding as yours," 

"Hoseok?," 

"Yeah?," He turns to see Hyungwon,that the sun makes him shine more than ever. 

"Why did you stop playing basketball?," Ask Hyungwon remembering the fight Hoseok  and Jooheon had at the table,he remembers Jooheon playing along with Hoseok after all Jooheon was the one that give him Hoseok's real name,but he's no longer part of the team.

"I just decided not to play anymore," he says lying to Hyungwon whose smile disappear as soon he hears the lie.

"There is only one thing I hate more than lying, skim milk which is water that's lying about being milk.. don't lie to me," says Hyungwon standing up mad about to walk away. 

"It was because of you,"says Hoseok making Hyungwon stop turning, seen the boy in the basketball court while the air move their hair. 

Jooheon shoots the ball but it doesn't go in, he tries and tries but none of them go in. Making him even more mad, throwing the balls away.

"Focus Lee, the championship is coming. And the team is expecting a lot from their captain," say the coach walking away leaving the boy standing alone with his uniform that burns his skin every time he wears it. Number 13 that belonged to the captain that's not there anymore. Jooheon walks towards the lockers taking the shirt off noticing the  **신** (Shin) scratch out replacing it with **이** (Lee) making him feel even worse hitting the lockers with his hand. Remembering what he said back at the table, he changes deciding to go home. He says goodbye to the coach and gets outside, noticing Lim Changkyun talking with someone saying goodbye and runs towards his anatomy class falling to the ground. Jooheon runs to him, helping Changkyun stand up as the boy check his hands that have the most damage.

"Did it hurt?," Ask Jooheon hearing Changkyun sight. 

"Let me guess, when I feel from heaven?," He asks cleaning himself winning at the pain in his hands.

"No when you fell right now, I saw you fall in your face," says Jooheon laughing a little, but Changkyun doesn't he just nods and walks away. 

"Look I'm sorry for what I said," says Jooheon

"Don't apologise with me," says Changkyun still walking away.

"What is your relationship with Shin Hoseok?," 

"He's my first love," says Changkyun getting inside the building, leaving Jooheon there standing alone thinking about what he just said, and breaths walking towards his car getting inside punching the steering wheel driving home. He doesn't want to be alone so he goes to Kihyun that is not home and either is Hyungwon so he goes to Minhyuk, that finds the boy alone about to punch someone. 

"Come in, lest talk," says Minhyuk letting Jooheon in, feeling the sadness emanating from him. 

"I was about to bake some cookies, do you want some?," Asks Minhyuk

"Sure," says Jooheon without much interest, Minhyuk knows exactly something is off because Jooheon always gets excited with food, both of them get in the kitchen and Jooheon sits at the bar table watching Minhyuk get his batch of cookies. 

"So I can bake this cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for a minute,"says Minhyuk excited making Jooheon jump.

"Min that's not how you bake cookies,"says Jooheon trying to keep a straight face.

"FLOOR IT?," 

"NO!," 

"HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND?!,"Screams Minhyuk

"MINHYUK YOU'RE GOING TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN," screams Jooheon laughing when out of nowhere Minhyuk takes a fire proof suit. 

"I'M GOING TO THE HARNESS OF THE SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!,"screams Minhyuk making Jooheon laugh even more, knowing that me at least make his friend feel a little better.

"What's wrong Joo?," 

"Well...," Starts Jooheon looking at Minhyuk, telling him everything as the rays of sunshine come through the window. 

Kihyun can finally see the so called special place, the tallest building in the middle of the city when he thought it was going to be like a secret beach or something like that. They get inside Hyunwoo says hello to everyone going to the stairs with Kihyun getting to the roof top making Kihyun understand why is Hyunwoo's favorite place. The view is just breath taking, not to mention the plants surrounding them making him feel in a fairytale.

"How did you find this place?,"asks Kihyun

"Jinyoung showed to me...," He says looking at the view as the name kills him every time he mentions that name.

"Jinyoung?," Asks Kihyun 

"A friend of mine," he says with a sad tone on his voice.

"Are you two close?," 

"Not anymore... Don't you like the color of the sky?," Asks Hyunwoo changing the subject, as Kihyun looks at the sky shining among the light. The boy smiles turning to face Hyunwoo.

"Which one?," He asks and Hyunwoo smile nodding as they both stare at the sunset, and Hyunwoo decides to take Kihyun home, they walk away holding hands getting to the car, and Kihyun holds for his dear life again. Hyunwoo grabs his hand and for the first time he isn't that scared Wondering how much influence does Hyunwoo has on him.

"I'm going to teach you how to drive Ki," says Hyunwoo giving him a new nickname making Kihyun smile at it, he loves it and still makes him shiver at the mention of it.

"You can try but believe me everyone has given up on me," says Kihyun laughing a little 

"I won't" he says making Kihyun look at him.

"Shownu..," he says blushing and Hyunwoo drives away asking Kihyun for the directions of his house, while the boy gives them to him keeping a smile on his face. 

**~2021~**

"I'm driving back home," says Kihyun to Minhyuk that nods giving him a peek in the cheek, walking downstairs still holding his phone next to his hear, while Kihyun looks at his friends hugging Hoseok and Hyungwon first.

"How are you doing?," Asks Hoseok letting go.

"A little bit better, it's always hard trying to remember him," says Kihyun feeling like his soul left his body that day.

"I know, but I can feel like he's watching over you," says Hyungwon 

"Take care Kihyun," says Hoseok going away along Hyungwon, Jooheon and Changkyun come closer hugging the boy as well, the three of them hold in the tears for Hyunwoo since they have to be strong. 

"Thank you for coming," says Kihyun

"Is the least we can do for Hyunwoo," says Jooheon noticing the mention of that name kills Kihyun.

"Yeah, Shownu would like that," 

"It's going to be okay Ki, it's ok we miss him too," says Changkyun making sure to not make Kihyun cry anymore, since is a sensitive topic still after all this years, they walk together getting in different cars, Kihyun feels like someone is watching him but when he turns there is no one there. 

"Shownu?," He asks turning to find nothing, he gets in the car driving away as someone watches him go away. 

"Long time no see, Yoo I mean Lee Kihyun," says Jaebum as Hyunwoo observes him serious. 


	7. 6. Broken Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Show me the most damaged parts of your soul and I will show you how it still shines like gold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm truly sorry for not updating in a while, I was busy and my tablet deleted the whole chapter on Monday and I cried. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, I love reading your comments. 
> 
> Sol~

The typing noises coming from the dark room are the only sound that can be heard in the house, it's so silent you could hear your heart beats all over the place. Hyunwoo tries to communicate with someone, when the front door opens abruptly scarring the boy that goes under the desk, trying to clean his hands with his shirt. Trying to be as silent as he can, hearing someone coming up the stairs. 

"SON HYUNWOO!! WHERE ARE YOU?," screams the voice of his father getting closer, Hyunwoo gets out of the desk going to his door holding it when his father tries to open it.

"HYUNWOO OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!,"Screams the voice hitting the door over and over pushing it,but Hyunwoo holds it until his father manages to open the door and Hyunwoo goes backwards and his father turns on the light looking at his son. 

"LOOK AT YOUR SELF, I WANT YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE, OR ELSE I WILL KILL YOU," Screams his father grabbing his collar, Hyunwoo doesn't say anything and lowers his head. 

"You should be dead, I'm going to kill you," says his father about to punch him, when he opens his eyes, trying to catch his breath noticing sweat all over his body and it's already 3:00 am, now he's not able to go to sleep again. So he decides to get to his especial place, he gets to his Chevrolet Impala driving, thinking how much he would love to go back to Chang-Dong but he can't, not after what happened. 

Hyunwoo goes to his place looking at the colors changing in the sky, breathing in and out when the clock hits 5:00am he goes back home taking a shower and having some light breakfast, finishing his assignment for chemistry, he runs to his car with a piece of bread in his mouth going to school. He parks searching for Kihyun but the boy hasn't arrived, noticing Changkyun and Hoseok on their usual spot and walks closer. Changkyun smiles at him and Hoseok just nods grabbing a cigarette while Changkyun takes it out of his mouth. 

"No is way too early for this shit, you need a hobby Hoseok," says Changkyun destroying the cigarette.

"I have a hobby,"states Hoseok closing his AP History book, almost offended. 

"Having a big ass crush on Chae Hyungwon is not a hobby Wonho,"says Changkyun making Hyunwoo laugh, as the basketball team pass by them none of them look at the boys except for Jooheon, that looks tasty them serious and turns to smile at his friends.

"When I die I want Lee Jooheon to lower me into my grave, so he can let me down one more time," says Hoseok as Changkyun agrees and also wonders where did his friend went yesterday.

"What's up with you and Chae Hyungwon? What happened yesterday?," Ask Changkyun making Hoseok choke on his water looking at both of them coughing while Hyunwoo hits his slowly on his back. 

"We talked," he says between coughs gathering his things and doesn't say anything anymore focusing on stop coughing. 

"About what?," Asks Hyunwoo looking at Hoseok that doesn't say anything grabbing his stuff, standing up abruptly walking away stopping turning to look at the boys one last time before entering his AP History class. 

"I told him," he says getting inside leaving Changkyun scared and happy for his friend while Hyunwoo is just lost wondering what is Hoseok talking about since Changkyun looks so surprised. 

"What did he meant by that?," Asks Hyunwoo confused as Changkyun smiles.

"He told him the truth, the reason he quit basketball," says Changkyun

"Who?," Asks Hyunwoo observing the school noticing Kihyun talking with Minhyuk, and laughing at something Hyungwon said. 

"It was because of you," says Hoseok making Hyungwon stop in his tracks turning to see the boy as the air moves their hair, and the sound of basketball games can be heard because of the silence between them.

"What are you talking about?," Asks Hyungwon scared that he might ruin basketball the game Hoseok loved because of him. 

"Do you remember the announcement at school, that guy that ended in the hospital because of the punches he got? It was me, he is still part of the team," says Hoseok, Hyungwon remembers that day like it was yesterday, the guy ended so bad he was taken to emergency, while the police drag Hoseok apart with his knuckles full of blood, he was still wearing his unform and the school suspended him for a week. 

"Why would you?," Asks Hyungwon scared.

"We were going to semi finals and the team was really stressed out, me as their captain took all their stress along with mine, to the point I had to be reminded to take a break now and then, when I took one I saw you in the benches smiling at me," says Hoseok making Hyungwon remember that practice he was kicked out because he really wanted to see Hoseok play, while the older find it cute. 

"You like that slut don't you? Seriously Shin? Chae Hyungwon? You can do better than that, he's way to easy and thinks is the greatest shit just because he's friends with Yoo Kihyun..he's not even pretty," said one of the boys making Hoseok really mad. 

"Hey Lee, isn't he your friend? Get me his ass, so he can at least have someone in his life," said the same guy, making Hoseok stand up going to the guy punching him in the face and the guy went directly to the ground. But Hoseok didn't stop there he kept punching the guy over and over even kicking him in the ribs, making everyone scared.

"YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT CHAE HYUNGWON LIKE THAT YOU ASS, APOLOGIZE NOW,"screamed Hoseok grabbing him by the collar.

"Why would I? He's just a Hoe and you know what once we're done I'm going for him," said the guy that only pissed Hoseok even more. 

"Stay away from my future Boyfriend, you hear me? I don't want to hear you say his name even again, IS THAT CLEAR?,"he screamed letting him go. 

"Chae...," He tried to say once again and that time Hoseok didn't have mercy on him, hitting him on the face until the ground was stained with blood and the guy didn't move a muscle, and the couch came. 

"Enough Shin,"he said grabbing him 

"He deserves worse," said Hoseok as the ambulance came taking the boy and Hoseok tried to punch him again. 

"You almost got him killed, you're not longer part of the team. Congratulations Lee you're now the captain," said the couch and the boys make eye contact.

"He's your friend and you didn't defend him," said Hoseok mad, and Jooheon observed him serious. 

"At least I'm not getting suspended," said Jooheon 

"He's your friend! I can't believe you,"said the boy being dragged to the police car with his bleeding knuckles, getting scary looks from everyone at school, since that day everyone avoid him. 

"They got me suspended for a week, since I'm in honors I could catch up later... I just wanted to protect you,"says Hoseok

"You did that for me?,"asks Hyungwon looking at Hoseok with his gray dyed hair and dangerous aura surrounding him. 

"I couldn't let them say those things," says Hoseok 

"That cost them their captain," says Hyungwon

"I don't care, you're more important," he says looking at Hyungwon that shines with his own light, full of life. Hyungwon walks closer hugging Hoseok that gets taken aback but reciprocates the hug, feeling safe and home. 

"Thank you Shin Hoseok," says Hyungwon making Hoseok smile holding him closely.

"Always, Chae Hyungwon," says Hoseok still holding the love of his life on his arms and the cold doesn't affect them anymore.

 "Chae Hyungwon was the reason why,"says Changkyun smiling at the boy walking to his class. Observing Chae Hyungwon walking with his friends and Hyunwoo looks at Kihyun.

"Love is amazing isn't it?,"asks Hyunwoo

"One of the most powerful emotions," he says and the bell rings he gets inside along Hyunwoo telling him they will see each other at lunch. Hyunwoo nods and walks noticing Kihyun on his way to AP literature class talking along Minhyuk that looks at the boy as if he had a crush on him for as long as he can remember.

"We're all dust,of the universe,"says Minhyuk once they reach the class room, making Kihyun laugh.

"Nah bro I'm glitter, see you at IB statistics," says Kihyun making both boys laugh, Minhyuk gets to his class and Hyunwoo follows Kihyun inside and everyone looks at him confused.

"Excuse me ? Do you belong to my class Mr. Son ?," Asks the teacher reading the name tag, Kihyun turns and goes to him.

"No I apologise I'm leaving now," he says embarrassed and Kihyun grabs his arm making him turn.

"Are you okay? Shownu," asks Kihyun

"Ki, can we talk one 10 to another?," Asks Hyunwoo

"I'm an 11 but continue,"says Kihyun making Hyunwoo smile but the teacher asks them to stop flirting and get to class while Kihyun tells him to sit with them at lunch. Hyunwoo nods and runs to his P.E class managing to not being late.

Kihyun sits on his desk and listens to the teacher,taking notes now and then.

"Remember the motifs of the characters in the story and how it managed to get that result, we will have a test on it in a few days and I want you to study," says the teacher making Kihyun think about the letters, and highlights the word motifs thinking about reading them again, because he doesn't have many information about the suicide. The bell rings and everyone walks out to their next class, he makes eye contact with Minhyuk and Jooheon. Walking inside his AP Languges class noticing Shin Hoseok sitting against the wall writing something in an old beat up notebook,not paying attention to anything and Kihyun decides to talk with him.

"Is this seat taken?," He asks making Hoseok look at him with headphones on and a confused face, taking one of the headphone out .

"Can I seat here?," Asks Kihyun again.

"No offense but I really don't care,"says Hoseok with his raspy voice still writing rythm's in his notebook.

"I'm Yoo Kihyun, you're friends with Hyunwoo right? ," He asks making him stop writing.

"Shownu?,"

"Hyunwoo, yeah I want to ask if you have notice something strange with Him?," Asks Kihyun and Hoseok looks at him Kihyun doesn't jump scared, which makes Hoseok think that he is one of the few people that didn't jump scared of him .

"He never talks about his family, or why did he come here,"says Hoseok noticing everyone pointing at him, wonder why is Yoo Kihyun talking to him. 

"Thank you, can I say something I don't want any criticism or judgement what so ever," says Kihyun

"And you came to me?," Asks Hoseok making Kihyun laugh turning to see the others whispering about them making him uncomfortable, wonder how can Hoseok deal with that every day.

"You and Hyungwon make a great couple, don't hurt him..why don't you seat with us?," 

"No," 

"Please for Hyungwon," 

"Don't use my weakness against me," he says almost smiling, the teacher comes telling everyone to get in his sits. Kihyun smiles and goes to his seat while Hoseok wonders if Jooheon is going to be there, looking at the window at one of the basketball court.

"What can I get that has no sugar, carbs and it's fat Free?," Asks one of his team mates and Jooheon

"Water," says Jooheon thinking about the game they will have next week, getting stressed out since his the captain, felling the pressure Hoseok just to have missing him since he was a great captain, since Hoseok was kicked out of the team and nothing has been the same. Since that guy who pick up with Hoseok is still in the team. 

"I'm glad Shin is gone, Lee is a better captain," says the guy making Jooheon really mad. 

"Don't," says Jackson grabbing Jooheon's arm before someone gets out of control. 

"He shouldn't be saying that, Shin Hoseok was the best captain," he says thinking about those times everyone was okay and actually playing for fun not just to win. 

"Do you even enjoy spending time with me?," Asks Jooheon to Jackson that starts to really think about it taking the boy aback. 

" Enjoy is such a strong word... I'm used to it, you know like cafeteria food or the constant threat of failing a class,"says Jackson making Jooheon him hard but also smiles. 

"Yeah I saw them hug, so he's with that slut," says the same guy that made Hoseok left.

"Kang shut the fuck up," says Jooheon making the guy turn looking at how mad Jooheon looks.

"What? You care about them now, how cute," he says 

"Stop, both of you," says Jackson.

"Stay out of this Wang, just go and be with your own slut, say hi to Mark Tuan for me,"says the guy making Jackson really mad because no one talks about his dim sum like that. 

"I'm going to break your neck," says Jackson while Jooheon grabs him.

" Don't he's not worth it," says Jooheon

"Yeah just go with your hoe friends, no wonder why Lim Changkyun hates you, only hanging out with hoes," when he said that Jooheon stops breathing and runs to punch the guy once again. 

"You're out of the team Kang, stay away from my friends, don't ever say their names again," says Jooheon grabbing the guy by the collar about to break his new nose once again. 

"You didn't even defended him last time," says the guy 

"Because I'm not afraid of any more, so who ever has a problem with Chae Hyungwon, Shin Hoseok or Mark Tuan get out of my fucking court and don't even dare mention Lim Changkyun, we are here to play not talk shit. Keep your head on the game," screams Jooheon mad letting go of the guy going to his couch's office. 

"Kang is out," says Jooheon

"Cool," says the couch taking the boys name out of the team, letting the boys out and they get to the showers getting to their classes, Jackson thanks him telling him that he will see each other later, when he spots Lim Changkyun getting out of his math class, deciding to go talking to him.

"Hey you why don't you have a lover yet?,"asks Jooheon making Changkyun breath and keeps reading the book.

"Because I don't want one, why don't you have one?," He asks opening the door to go to his other class.

"BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT ONE!," Jooheon screams making Changkyun jump scared and laugh getting in his class, not before noticing a bruise on his knuckles.

"What happened there?," He asks holding the door.

"Come sit with us and I will tell you about it," says Jooheon that before getting an answer runs away, making Changkyun think about it since last time it was just too much tension to handle, getting inside his class. Jooheon runs to his science class thinking about lunch and how is he going to tell everyone what just happened to him, when lunch comes everyone gets in their own group tables, Hyunwoo grabs his lunch and walks to the table Kihyun usually sit finding everyone there. He sits next to Hoseok since Minhyuk is next to Kihyun on his left side and Jooheon on his right then there is Changkyun and Hoseok, he sits next to him eating slowly. 

"Kang is out of the team," says Jooheon breaking the silence. 

"What?," Asks both Hyungwon and Hoseok at the same time, making Jooheon jump but feel proud of himself.

"I Lee Jooheon the first broke his nose after he talked shit about my Hyungwonho couple and I couldn't let him do that, so I break his nose," says Jooheon standing proud making Hoseok laugh. 

"Ya you're not the only Lee here," says Minhyuk and Kihyun laughs. 

"The new one? Nice," says Hoseok while Hyungwon wonders what he meant by Hyungwonho, the tension drops and Kihyun looks at Hyunwoo focused into something.

"Shownu,what are you thinking about?," Asks Kihyun

"Are hot dogs sandwiches?," Asks Hyunwoo making Kihyun wonder is in Hyunwoo's mind, making everyone think about it. 

"No they're like a taco but different," says Hyungwon 

"But you can use a slice of bread and still make a hot dog," says Minhyuk 

"That doesn't make it a sandwich Minhyuk," 

"You only saying is a taco for the U form, because a taco has a tortilla on it not bread, one is corn and the other wheat case closed," says Minhyuk

"That is the dumbest thing you have ever say and believe me you have had plenty, both have meat then. What's your point?," Says Hyungwon

"Different condiments," says Minhyuk, Kihyun stops listening to them and starts to have a conversation with Changkyun about his amazing double Helix model for his science class,and how much his art about the anatomy was on point so Jooheon ask him about it, Hoseok writes some lyrics down and Hyunwoo looks at them, feeling a penetrating sight on him. Meeting Kihyun curious eyes, he's not smiling and his sight could kill as if he were investigating him. 

"This isn't over Lee," says Hyungwon when the bell rings 

"Bring it Chae, oh Kihyun I'm going to your house later I need the notes for statistics, " says Minhyuk and Kihyun nods smiling at him grabbing his things as well, everyone gets in different directions, Hyunwoo stands up and Kihyun goes to him. 

"Hyunwoo?," 

"Yes? Is everything okay Ki?," He asks holding a serious sight as well making Kihyun jump a little.

" Can I ask you something?," He asks while Hyunwoo wonders what is the younger thinking about asking, hoping isn't something family related or the reason he left Chang-Dong. 

"Do you want to kill yourself!?," Asks Kihyun so serious that Hyunwoo look at him worried and the air moves their hair, both of them look at each other serious and worried since he wasn't expecting that question from Kihyun.

"....."

**~2021~**

 

Once they get home, Kihyun looks at his house noticing a different color than it was before, like it wasn't like this, wondering if they change it and he never notice or it just changed.

"Min, did we changed the colors in the walls?," Asks Kihyun making Minhyuk confused

"No, Ki we always had them this way," he says leaving everything in the kitchen and goes to the main room, wondering if the past is changing something, and also gets the feel somethings wrong, if Hyunwoo was lonely and why he never asked if h wanted to kill himself. Maybe he pretended to be happy while he was feeling lonely on the inside, he never left a note explaining why he did what he think was the right thing. It was unexpected, since he was just fine.

"Minhyuk, do you think Shownu was lonely?," He asks as Minhyuk hugs him from behind and kisses his neck. 

"Not at all," says the boy 

" Then why did he killed himself?," He ask all mad letting go of Minhyuk's hug, as the old looks at him. 

"I don't know Kihyun, I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY HE SHOT HIMSELF IN THE HEAD! SPECIALLY WHEN HE HAD YOU, WHEN HE WASN'T LONELY!!......is time to move on Kihyun this was 8 years ago, I know you loved him, probably more than you'll ever love me.....and I'm sorry you lost the love of your life..." Says Minhyuk with a broken voice, getting out of the room as Kihyun tries to stop him but he slaps the door close leaning against it, Kihyun leans in the other side and looks at his wedding rings, knowing he should move on but he needs to know what made Hyunwoo kill himself.

"Kihyun please save him," he whispers, trying to find a piece of paper and writes.

**Dear Kihyun.**

 

 


	8. 7. Stuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Shownu? Is it you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello is me again finally, sorry for not writing at all. My hand got hurt while playing volleyball so yeah I had to take a break. 
> 
> But I'm back with a chapter more confusing than the last one, if you have any questions please feel free to ask. 
> 
> Who saw the drama episode last Thursday it was epic, anyways take care and see you later bye~ 
> 
> Sol~

The wind moves their hair and clothes, both of them maintain eye contact serious. The second bell rings yet there is no reaction out of any, still breathing slowly. 

"Why do you ask? Have you?," Asks Hyunwoo breaking the silence, thinking that he has feel lonely, but he has never consider killing himself, he mostly feels alone sometimes mostly because his family is not with him, since he had to start a new but lately lonely isn't a word that describes him. 

"I did once, I feel lonely sometimes," says Kihyun thinking about the day his parents died, the weeks after the accident. He doesn't feel as lonely as those times but it bugs him to this day. 

"Do you want to talk about it?," Asks Hyunwoo worried making Kihyun wonder why did he kill himself then. 

"Not now," says Kihyun hearing the last bell ring, he looks at his shoes and back at the building he's really far from his AP Physics class, he will have to ask Minhyuk for the notes later.

"Take your time, was that the last bell?," 

"I believe so... Hyunwoo? Does anyone bully you? Is someone trying to hurt you?," Asks Kihyun while Hyunwoo looks at him Kihyun still has a strong sight on him. 

"No, everyone is really nice,why do you ask?," He questions the boy that is still trying to figure out any clues, but to him Hyunwoo is just a normal teenager. 

"Do you have problems at home?," He asks that question takes Hyunwoo aback, he did have problems at home back in Chang-Dong but he doesn't live there anymore.He does miss his parents and older brother but he's not going back not after what happened, not that he can either.

"I don't live with my parents," Hyunwoo says and something clicks on Kihyun's mind, having maybe one reason why Hyunwoo could have ended his life. It could have been problems at home. 

"Do you want to talk about it?," Asks Kihyun

"No," 

"Take your time, I'll be here if you want to talk about it. Don't rush anything and make a decision you may regret," says Kihyun

"Do you know something I don't? You're asking all this questions psychologist ask when you first get to therapy and about your first question I haven't thought about killing myself...life is just too precious for that," says Hyunwoo walking away leaving Kihyun standing like a complete idiot, he was too obvious with his questions. Noticing Hyunwoo getting in his car so he runs to him, putting himself in front of the car. 

"Look I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you, I'm just trying to understand," says Kihyun while Hyunwoo looks at him wondering what's on the boys mind, since he doesn't say anything, he barely even tells his friends how he's feeling. 

"Get in I'm teaching you how to drive," says Hyunwoo making Kihyun look at him with a smile on his face, Hyunwoo's heart beats faster by the beauty in front of his eyes. 

"Really?," 

"Yeah, get in I'm rewarding you later," says Hyunwoo making the boy go in the car ignoring the fact that he has an exam, either way he could take it later. The boys get to an empty parking lot, Hyunwoo changes places with Kihyun getting already terrified by just looking at the steering wheel, Hyunwoo grabs Kihyun's hands putting them in the steering wheel. 

"Just keep looking at the front, breath I'm here with you," says Hyunwoo's voice, that manage to calm Kihyun concentrating on the front. 

" _alright you can do this_ ," he tells to himself, turning the car and moving as slow as a snail he moves the car screaming, Hyunwoo smiles feeling proud of the boy.

"You got it I believe in you Yoo Kihyun," says Hyunwoo making Kihyun really relaxed he didn't know his name could sound so good coming out from Hyunwoo's voice. Kihyun increase the speed screaming even higher, and Hyunwoo says is enough for one day, he tells Kihyun he did a great job and decides to take him to eat something. They change seats and Hyunwoo drives to a restaurant he knows. When they park, Kihyun gets a text from Minhyuk but he doesn't reply getting out to go inside with Hyunwoo. 

Minhyuk leaves his phone looking at the teacher that is starting to give the exam, observing his class noticing that Kihyun is absent. 

"Mr. Yoo is not here, I guess someone didn't feel good," says the teacher skipping Kihyun's desk, and everyone gets a test. Minhyuk can notice Changkyun working on his answers, while Minhyuk wonders where Kihyun might be. He starts his exam finishing first giving the exam to the teacher that grades his exam right there. 

"100% congratulations Mr.Lee," he says Minhyuk nods earning a mad look from his classmates, he's one of the smartest students along with Kihyun and Shin Hoseok, he doesn't have all his classes in honors like Kihyun or Hoseok but he's smart. He observes everyone, Changkyun is the second one to finish walking to the teacher that grades it in his desk. 

"100% great job Mr. Lim," says the teacher Changkyun gets really happy, turning to his desk deciding to talk with Minhyuk a little since both of them are already done. 

"Pretty easy right?," Asks Changkyun

"Is more logic than anything else, do you know where Kihyun might be?," Asks Minhyuk, while Changkyun observes him. 

"I have no idea," says Changkyun getting out a sketch book, drawing some stars, or just doddles. 

" How do you became friends with Shin Hoseok?," Ask Minhyuk and Changkyun stops drawing. 

"He isn't the person you think, he was really bright and cheerful. But he got really hurt by the people he thought where his friends. He was lonely so I decided to become friends with him because why not," says Changkyun while Minhyuk gets surprised looking at the others finish the exam. 

"What about you and Yoo Kihyun?," Ask Changkyun

"We have lived next to each other since before we where born, we've been friends since kindergarten," 

"You like him since then or is just recent?," 

"How did you?," He starts but the bell rings and Changkyun walks away, they get into different classes, by the end of the day Minhyuk gets in his car driving home, wondering if he will find Kihyun home, he parks his car in his house and walks towards the boy's home. One of the maids opens the door, hearing Kihyun's grandmother asks "who is it?" 

"I am Lee Minhyuk, Kihyun's friend," he says making Kihyun's grandmother walk to the door looking at the boy. 

"Min! Is been a while my boy, what are you doing here?," She asks hugging the boy that smiles because sh does remember him. 

"I come to see Kihyun, is he here?," 

"Kikie is not here yet, but you can wait on his room. Are you hungry?,"asks Mrs.Yoo letting the boy inside remembering all those times he and Kihyun play inside the house, hide and seek, read in the floor or sing until their throats hurt. But those are just that, simple memories. 

"No, I'm good thanks," says Minhyuk

"I know you Min, come to the kitchen and eat,"she says not accepting a no for an answer, Minhyuk looks at the neat and clean kitchen. One of the maids gives him a plate starting to eat slowly, falling in love with the taste. 

"Thank you so much, Mrs. Yoo," says Minhyuk once he's done.

"No problem, you can wait for Kikie in his room," says Kihyun's grandmother walking away, Minhyuk nods getting upstairs knowing perfectly where Kihyun's room is, he gets inside is clean and organized, the walls are light grey with many posters, his bed is big and dark grey with many different color pillows. There is a book shelf, in the desk he has a laptop and many of his school books lying open with notes for his classes, he can also notice the picture of his parents in the night stand. While others are in the wall, Minhyuk walks to the window noticing something dirty in it so he blows some air noticing is a name. " **Son Hyunwoo"**  he reads wonder why is that name in the window, Minhyuk lays in the bed hearing Kihyun get inside the house. 

Kihyun can notice his house getting closer, he sees that Minhyuk is already home. Hyunwoo stops the car at the entrance, Kihyun grabs his books and backpack facing the elder. 

"Thanks for the food, I will see you later," says Kihyun getting out of the car, and Hyunwoo smiles.

"No problem, take care see you tomorrow," says Hyunwoo, Kihyun nods waving goodbye, looking at the car go away. Kihyun walks to Minhyuk's house and knocks but the butler tells him he's not home. Kihyun nods thanking him and gets some greeting his grandmother. 

"Kikie there is mail for you," she says, Kihyun looks at the letters noticing there are Universities and a letter from his future self. 

"Thanks I'll be in my room," he says excusing himself to get to his room, getting inside without noticing Minhyuk in his bed, putting his things down looking at the letter with a worried expression, Kihyun doesn't feel or hear Minhyuk coming closer and scares him and Kihyun accidentally punches him on the face. 

"Oh my God, Minhyuk I'm so sorry," says Kihyun worried leaving the letter in the table running for the aid kid and some ice, his grandmother turns wondering if she should get worried or not. 

"I think you broke my nose," says Minhyuk

"I didn't, it was a little punch. What are you doing here anyway?," Asks Kihyun putting the ice on Minhyuk's nose getting really close, making Minhyuk get lost in his eyes. 

"Here as in your room or 'here' as in the greatest spiritual question of our purpose here on this planet? If you're asks whether it's all just a cosmic coincidence or there's a greater metaethical purpose of life, well that's a puzzler for the ages.I mean simple ontological reductionism is clearly a fallacious argument,but,"says Minhyuk as Kihyun covers his mouth with his hand. 

"I get it, you're here to give me the notes of the class right?," Asks Kihyun removing his hand, the pain decrease and Minhyuk can finally feel his nose. 

"Why weren't you at class today?," Asks Minhyuk looking at Kihyun that grabs his notebook, saying anything sitting in the ground turning to see Minhyuk.

"I just skipped class," says Kihyun 

"You never skipped a class before," says Minhyuk, thinking how much Kihyun is changing, that's why he is in honors because he never skips classes and has one of the best grades in the whole school. 

"I know, is not going to happen again," says Kihyun, Minhyuk grabs his notebook and starts reading the notes, glaring at Kihyun that shines among the sun coming from the window, making Minhyuk's heart skip a beat. Kihyun turns asking if there's any more notes, making Minhyuk jump denying.

"Thank you for the notes, you have blo..," says Kihyun getting closer to Minhyuk's face whipping the blood coming out of Minhyuk's nose, looking at the eyes that have always been there for him in the good and the bad, making feel warm inside. Minhyuk gets closer and Kihyun hugs him holding tears, since he doesn't know what to do. 

"What's wrong?,"

"Nothing, you should go home now, I'll see you tomorrow at school," says Kihyun while he let go and Minhyuk kisses his head.

"Have a great day, see you,"says Minhyuk

"Take care" says Kihyun, Minhyuk walks out saying goodbye to Kihyun's grandmother that smiles at him saying goodbye, Kihyun looking at the letter open it reading his handwrite. 

**Dear Kihyun**  

Changkyun gives the final touches to his painting, smiling at the result. Of course his clothes got sacrifice in the process, he can hear the basketball team practicing outside. The last bell rings making everyone happy, the class room clean their work station, leaving with their paintings. 

"Have a great day, Mr. Cho," says Changkyun getting out last.

"You too, Lim," says Mr.Cho Changkyun smiles at him and gets out of the classroom tripping with his own feet, landing in the ground hurting his hands, Changkyun stands up to get his things, but Jooheon is already helping him. Looking at the painting in the process.

" You're really talented," says Jooheon making Changkyun smile, and Jooheon's heart skip a beat.

"Thanks, my clothes got sacrifice in the process. I like how is turning out," says Changkyun. 

"I like your vision of the different colors of the sky, let me help you get this to your car," says Jooheon, Changkyun gets surprised that he got his idea, since most people think he's only putting different colors in a canvas. 

"I don't drive, I don't have my license. I failed my test 5 times and I kind of give up," 

"Hahaha really? It's okay don't worry I will make sure no one bothers you about it," 

"Jooheon?," 

"Yeah?," 

"You're bothering me," says Changkyun searching if Hoseok is around, the motorcycle is still there but he's no where to be found, remembering that Hoseok has extra curricular activities, so he decides to take the bus. Changkyun starts walking towards the bus stop,when Jooheon stops him. 

"Can I give you a ride?," Asks Jooheon

"No, I'm fine," says Changkyun walking away 

"Please," 

"Alright but only this time," says Changkyun turning following Jooheon to his car which looks different from the one he had a few weeks ago. He gets inside, and Jooheon puts his things on the back of the car, getting to the driver's seat. Jooheon puts some music, and both of them rap at the rhythm of the music.while Changkyun gives him his address, they reach the house and Jooheon notices that no one seems to be at home. 

"You live alone?," Asks Jooheon 

"No, I have a roommate. But yeah I don't live with my parents, they currently live in Boston," says Changkyun

"You came here alone? That's really brave, who's your roommate?," Asks Jooheon when Changkyun gets out of the car grabbing his things.

"Shin Hoseok," says Changkyun waving goodbye, walking to the house but Jooheon doesn't drive away. Changkyun gets inside going to the kitchen and get dinner ready, Jooheon wonders how can they he live with the love of his life without being together or maybe they're together, he thinks driving away before someone calls the police. Changkyun works on his homework but doesn't get the right answer deciding to text Hoseok and ask him for help.

Hoseok feels his phone vibrate, taking out looking at the message. He text the right formula to get the answer, feeling a strong sight on him and he finds his teacher looking at him serious, putting his phone away concentrating on the piano in front of him. 

"Your individual presentations will be held next week, I'm expecting a masterpiece since your a IB class," says the teacher and the whole class room falls silent since is time to prove themselves, Hoseok nods writing it on his agenda. 

"How long does it have to be?," Asks Hoseok 

"Good question Shin, it has to be longer than 3:00 minutes," says the teacher and most of the students gasp, the teacher hands them the composition Sheet. 

"From the top,Shin start," says the teacher while Hoseok touches the titles and starts playing with his heart, the others start join transforming the room into a beautiful Melody, until the teacher gets satisfied with the result. 

"Thank you for your hard work," says everyone and the teacher says it back, the class ends, and some stay talking with their friends but Hoseok just grab his things and walks out towards his motorcycle, noticing Hyungwon walking out of one of the dance classes, going to his car feeling like someone is watching him finding Hoseok's sight on him. 

"What are you still doing at school?," Asks Hoseok 

"I have my dance solo in a few weeks,you?," Asks Hyungwon smiling at him shining brighter than the sun. 

"I'm in the orchestra, I have my solo on May 1st," says Hoseok 

"Me too,"says Hyungwon getting sad since he wanted to see the boy play.

"I really wanted to see you dance, I heard you become a totally different person,"says Hoseok and Hyungwon laughs.

"You could say that, I demand too much to myself. It's my passion what can I say," 

"Yeah I get you, music is my first love. I have to be careful of what I write and how do I want to be heard," says Hoseok 

"Name your solo From Zero," says Hyungwon making Hoseok really happy since the title does fit the song he will perform. Smiling he goes and hugs Hyungwon that reciprocate the hug as exited as Hoseok. 

"See you tomorrow," says Hoseok letting go 

"Take care," says Hyungwon and Hoseok opens the door for Hyungwon, the boy smiles and gets in the car, thanking Hoseok that nods getting in his motorcycle driving in different directions, and Hoseok can feel his heart beating faster. He gets to the house noticing Changkyun sleeping in the table deciding to wake him up. The boy wakes up with notes transferred to his face, smiling at Hoseok deciding to eat along with him, Hoseok thinks that he has never been exited for a tomorrow before until he met Hyungwon. 

Kihyun sits on the ground back against the wall, observing his hand writing. Hopping he will get more answers than questions. 

**Dear Kihyun**

_I apologize for not writing in a while, I hope you're doing okay. I'm noticing a few changes in the future which means you're getting closer, we sadly can't bring Shownu back to life...which to this day still hurts like hell. Since I wasn't there to protect him from himself, that day I wasn't even there....I was getting some things we forgot in the store... since it was our second year together...but when I get home...I found him on the bathroom with a shoot in his head....he had shoot himself... without leaving a reason why nor a note._

_It hurts so much..... Please Kihyun save him... I'm not unhappy either is just... letting go is hard... Shownu will be good to you.. don't fight with him..call him in mature or compare him to others, but most of all don't cheat on him with Minhyuk... I'm not a good person... you're not a good person Yoo Kihyun.. you're better than all those things..._

_I shouldn't be doing this since I have a happy life...but sometimes I feel like something is off...I can't put my finger on it... you know the last thing I said to him! Wasn't even an I love you....I don't even know if I loved him the correct way...probably I didn't .... that's why he's gone.._

_Is not your fault...I will write you...not right now the pain....is just too much.... I'm sorry... Goodbye._

**_Kihyun, 2021_ **

Kihyun lets the paper fall into the floor, as the tears run down his eyes, crying as if he had killed someone. That handwriting was of someone breaking, hurting and still with a long way into acceptance. 

" _when did Hyunwoo got a gun? ,"_ he asks himself getting even more confused, with more questions than he had before.

"AGH I WANT THIS TO BE OVER!!," He screams standing up walking to the door ignoring his grandmother, running to catch up a taxi.

"Where can I find a gun shop?," Asks Kihyun making the driver scared.

"There are several around the city," says the driver

"Take me to the closest to Starship High school," says Kihyun giving the driver money, when he notices Hyunwoo getting inside the shop, Kihyun freaks out getting out of the car running to the shop. 

"Thanks, I will,"says Hyunwoo getting out of the store with a paper bag, Kihyun gets a phone call from his grandmother but he doesn't answer deciding to approach Hyunwoo, making eye contact.

"Did you get a Gun?," asks Kihyun scared 

"What are you talking about?," Asks Hyunwoo noticing how worried Kihyun looks, trembling at the verge of tears. But somehow he still has a strong precense, scary even. 

"Just answer the question!! Please just...," Screams Kihyun cracking his voice and the tears make his sight blurry.

"No, I was just getting an address," says Hyunwoo he can see the tears run down Kihyun's eyes, while the boy feels more confused than before.

"I'm sorry...Im losing my mind... I'm must be bothering you...I will leave you alone now," says Kihyun bowing and walks away, Hyunwoo goes to him and back hugs him, making the boy relax and close his eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere... don't worry about me... I'm fine Ki, I would never kill myself, I know you're worried that I might feel alone but I'm okay I promise I will never do such a thing," says Hyunwoo making Kihyun relax but also is still more confused, deciding to investigate deeper. 

"I'm sorry...," Says Kihyun

"Don't be, I have to go now..See you later," says Hyunwoo not really wanting to let go of Kihyun, the warmth of Hyunwoo leaves Kihyun feel like he did before, turning to see Hyunwoo go, and the wind moves his hair. 

"Then why are you gone?," Asks Kihyun observing the boy get to the other side of the road. 

**~2021~**

Changkyun looks at the blank canvas in front of him, is been a while since he has painted something, leaving the brush with paint in the little table. Walking to the window thinking about what he and Jooheon saw.

"Hoeney?," He asks making Jooheon leave his case on the table looking at Changkyun that looks really scared. 

"Yes?," Jooheon asks 

"Do you think they believe us?," 

"That we saw Shownu? Hopefully they did, why do you think he's here?," Asks Jooheon

"I have no idea, maybe he wants to give us a sign," says Changkyun looking at the outside, the close the sea is,and the sky Hyunwoo loved so much. Walking away deciding to get the pictures of the last day they spend with Hyunwoo, looking at the way he smiled holding Kihyun close. 

"Do you think he knew? About Kihyun cheating on him with Minhyuk that time, Don't get me wrong he loved Hyunwoo but it did happen and we never talk about it," says Changkyun sitting in the table along Jooheon that look at the pictures, remembering that Kihyun told Hyungwon and he told him but from there they never address it, not having any idea if Hyunwoo knew. 

"I believe he did, where is the gun anyway?," Asks Jooheon

"Police has it," 

"No Kyunie they never found the gun,"says Jooheon remembering Jackson mentioning that they never found a gun in the scene yet the victim had lead on his fingers.

"What if it wasn't a suicide?," Asks Jooheon making Changkyun turn looking at him with a scare look on his face. 

"Don't play with that,"says Changkyun mad at him 

"I'm just giving facts," says Jooheon, deciding to call Hoseok deciding to ask him some questions.

"Hello?," Answers the voice of Hoseok 

"Hello, Hoseok is me Jooheon can you come over, I have some questions. Bring Hyungwon," 

"Sure, see you then...are you okay?," 

"It's about Shownu," 

".... I'll be there as soon as possible," says Hoseok hanging the phone, the boys look at each other scared and hear a noise coming out of the room Changkyun paints, Changkyun walks inside noticing something in the canvas that wasn't there before, covering his mouth. 

"Jooheon!!!," He screams making the boy run inside the room, looking at the canvas getting scared as well.

"Shownu? Is it you?," Asks Jooheon touching the handwrite, while Changkyun focuses in keeping it together. 

 

 

 


	9. 8. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think you know exactly what it means"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellaw I'm back from the death 
> 
> Let me know what you think, I luv your comments
> 
> I forgot to mention this story has mpreg, i have to tag it later~
> 
> Have a great day, bye bye 
> 
> Sol

 

Kihyun walks towards Starship High school, dialling the number of one of the driver's so he can go home. He waits noticing people coming and going faster than usual, while Kihyun feels the same. The sound of the honk snaps him out of his trance, he spots the driver getting inside the car, the one gets him home. Kihyun thanks him getting out of the car, opening the front door finding his grandmother really mad at him. 

"Where have you been?," She asks, Kihyun looks at her feeling a little pain in his head.

"I was in school," he says feeling dizzy.

"Really? Because your teachers called me the other day, stating that you haven't even been to class. What's wrong?," 

"Nothing.. I promise I won't do that again," he says as his vision starts to get blurry.

"Kikie talk to me please, I know something is bothering you," she says, Kihyun tries to keep his sight on her, but feels his body getting lighter falling to the ground.

"Kikie! Kihyun!," She screams asking one of the maids to call an ambulance, Minhyuk can notice the lights reflecting on his window, observing how the paramedics take Kihyun out, his grandmother gets in the ambulance and they go. Once in the hospital the paramedics take the boy to emergency trying to bring him back, managing to stabilize his body. Hours later Kihyun wakes up confused finding his grandmother holding his hand, making him remember the week before the accident when he finally woke up. 

"Granny?," He says with a dry voice.

"Oh my Kikie," she says hugging him.

"What happened?," 

"You fainted, Doctor Han said that you're under a lot of stress. Is it because you're a senior? Should I take you out of Honors? Or is something going on?, " She asks petting his grandsons hair.

"I want to stop something...even though I have no idea how or when is going to happen," says Kihyun looking at his grandmother that hold him tight, making him feel relaxed finally getting some comfort that he needs.

"Start by finding information, Mirae just to say that clues are everywhere, you just have to pay attention," says his grandmother, Kihyun closes his eyes because is true his mother just to say that all the time, since she was a lawyer before getting married to his father.

"I miss mom," he says holding into her, his only family left.

"Me too," 

"You're right I have to find the answers, one way or another," says Kihyun letting go of his grandmother, the nurse informs her that visit hours ended, Kihyun tells his grandmother everything will be fine. His grandmother kisses him on the forehead and walks away. Kihyun turns to the window, laying in bed.

 _"what if I show Hyunwoo the letter? Maybe that can stop him from killing himself,_ " he thinks bitting his nails, still asking if he's making the right choices, since the future doesn't clarify much of what might happen to Hyunwoo.

"Please take care,"says Kihyun closing his eyes hearing the rain outside thinking about Son Hyunwoo. 

Hyunwoo feels the raindrops in his soaking wet clothes, looking at the new city he calls home, thinking about all those lonely nights back in Chang-Dong where he had to sleep on the sidewalks. Since his family kick him out of the house, because of the big problem he got himself into. 

"Amazing how much you love the rain, maybe from all the nights you had to sleep outside," says a familiar voice, while Hyunwoo closes his eyes turning opening them to find darkness, that doesn't let him distinguish the person until, he steps forward.

"How did?," 

"Jaebum told me about this place, Hyunwoo I told you I was going to find you... I'm her to take you home," say that sharp words of his older brother, colder than the rain.

"I'm not going," 

"You have to forget what happened, it wasn't your fault," 

"Then why do I feel so guilty every time I try to remember him. Try telling that to Jinyoung, or better yet Jaebum, it's my fault Jinyoung is not here anymore, I can't do that to Jaebum, do you understand?," Hyunwoo screams trembling a little, his older brother looks at him getting closer to Hyunwoo but he doesn't move. 

"It wasn't your fault," 

"Stay away from me, I'm not going back," 

"You're coming with me," 

"You can't make me," screams Hyunwoo earning a punch from his older brother, that loses self control grabbing Hyunwoo punching him again.

"I'm taking you dead or alive,"screams his older brother, Hyunwoo feels every part of his body hurt more than ever, the rain makes the blood flow out of the places he's getting hit, tasting his own blood. 

"You're just like dad," says Hyunwoo and with that his older brother stops hitting him, since he hates been compared to his father. 

"Don't say that," his older brother screams as he tries to help Hyunwoo.

"Stop, stop this! I'm not going home anymore, Jungnang is my home now," says Hyunwoo slapping the hand away. His older brother breaths walking away but something stops him on his tracks. 

"Oh you are coming back like I said dead or alive, by the way Yoo Kihyun is really cute it would be a shame if something happens to him," says his older brother walking away, Hyunwoo tries to stand up falling as soon he stands up. He looks at the dark sky feeling the rain even colder than before, Hyunwoo starts thinking about Kihyun standing up with all his will. 

"You're not going to touch him! I'm going to protect you Ki!," He screams making Kihyun open his eyes breathing heavily and his vital signs go crazy.

"Hyunwoo," Kihyun breaths out the boys name, holding into his chest. 

Changkyun writes down the homework for next week, noticing Mrs Oh still writing things down while some of the students write, others talk and Changkyun finds Jooheon sleeping making him freak out because he knows once Mrs Oh finishes she will erase everything. 

"Jooheon,"he says but that doesn't wake up the boy, making Changkyun nervous.

"Jooheon," he says louder, making someone hush him.

"No talking,"says Mrs Oh making Changkyun scared grabbing his water bottle throwing it to Jooheon that wakes up mad.

"What?!," He screams everyone hushes him, Mrs Oh turns breaking the chalk facing the class.

"Lim, Lee detention after school," she says Changkyun looks at Jooheon already done with his shit. 

"I have to finish my project, Mr Oh told me to stay after school so I could finish," says Changkyun feeling betrayed and pissed off. 

"I have practice," says Jooheon 

" Sip it, tell my husband what you did. He will understand," she says finishing the notes, the class writes like crazy.  Changkyun manages to finish, while Jooheon tries to stay awake. The bell rings and they get out of the class, walking to the next one, Changkyun finds Hoseok on his way.

"What a week,huh?" Asks Hoseok

"Wonho, is Wednesday,"says Changkyun laughing getting to his English class, Jooheon gets to his math class finding Jackson along with Youngjae, they notice him saying hello sitting next to him. 

"I'm quick at math," says Jackson

"Okay, what's 38×76?," Asks Youngjae 

"24," 

"Jackson that's not even close," says Jooheon

"But it was quick," says Jackson making them laugh, the teacher comes inside and the class is quiet, saying good morning. 

"Today we're having a pop quiz," says the teacher the class screams internally, as the teacher hands out the papers upside down. 

"When I tell you start," he says, the teacher notices everyone ready and gives them a sign.the class turns the page getting scared, worried and mad because they don't even know if is numbers or the alphabet, but without complaining they start the quiz, while Jooheon thinks about the game he is having soon.

"Again!," Screams the dance teacher, making Hyungwon annoyed and tired since is the fifth time they repeat the same dance moves.

"You are not in kindergarten anymore, from the top," says the dance teacher, the class gets to their designed places, and the music starts. The slow rhythm moves their bodies gracefully, when the beat drops changing into something faster, the dance becomes hard to keep up. But they manage to deliver every move in the choreography, until the song ends and they can finally take a break.

"Good, but I don't want good. I'm expecting excellent," says the teacher observing the class nodding and breathing.

"Oh I almost forgot, your solos are next week and I don't want any mistakes. Understood?,," 

"Yes Ms Cha," 

"Perfect, go change see you tomorrow," she says dismissing the class, everyone lays in the ground breathing heavily. Hyungwon holds into the bar looking at himself in the mirror, feeling the sweat coming out of his body.

"Ms Cha can I practice after school?," Asks Hyungwon, Ms Cha nods telling to close the door after he's done.

"Of course, anyone else staying after school along with Chae?," Asks Ms Cha but no one rises their hand, leaving Hyungwon on his own again. The class gets to the locker rooms changing and the bell rings, Hyungwon walks out telling everyone to have a great day.

"You too," say most of his class mates, Hyungwon walks to his elective class still energetic and smiling at everyone, Hoseok walks out of his class making eye contact smiling at each other, and Hoseok gets to his AP Economics class sitting in his usual spot, plugging his earphones trying to find the right rhythm for his solo next week,when the class start he turns off the music device, taking notes for his exam. The hours come and go, the lunch bell rings everyone gets with their group of friends, Minhyuk sit in the table wondering if Kihyun is okay,then Hyungwon sits saying hello. Writing something down, putting his lunch on the table.

"Where is Kihyun?,"asks Hyungwon once his done, looking at Minhyuk eating his food, leaving his fork down.

"He went to the hospital yesterday, I don't know what happened. But I believe he gets out of the hospital today," says Minhyuk just as Jooheon sits down, getting really worried. 

"Kihyun is at the hospital? Is he okay?," 

"I think he fainted," 

"I will pay a visit later, poor thing," says Hyungwon while Changkyun sits noticing Hyunwoo is not there or Kihyun, Hoseok comes later sitting next to Hyungwon.

"Hyunwoo is not here? That's weird," says Changkyun getting out his lunch.

"I wonder why,"days Hoseok thinking that Hyunwoo seem different yesterday, but he doesn't know if that's the reason.

"Isn't your game today Jooheon?,"asks Minhyuk, Changkyun observes Jooheon that doesn't even touches his food.

"Are you coming, Changkyun?," Asks Jooheon hopeful 

"I don't know since we got in detention after school," he says reaching the point of doneness that done doesn't even describe how done he is with Jooheon. Hyungwon notices Hoseok eating animal crackers, and gives him half of his sandwich.

"I'm visiting Kihyun after school, you want to go with me? He's coming home from the hospital," says Hyungwon

"Sure," says Hoseok looking at the empty spot next to Minhyuk, wondering why did Kihyun went to the hospital when yesterday he was fine laughing with them or maybe he was just pretending. The bell rings and they wish luck to each other getting into different classes.

Kihyun gets released from the hospital by noon, his grandmother decides to take him home. The ride is silent, Kihyun looks at the streets holding into the car but with less pressure than before.

"Are you hungry?,"asks his grandmother but Kihyun doesn't say anything, a few minutes later they get home, Kihyun gets down thanking the driver walking inside that welcomes him with the same vanilla scent that is slowly fainting away, Kihyun excuses himself going to his room to grab the letters, getting down.

"I'm actually starving," says Kihyun getting to the kitchen putting the letters in the table, his grandmother gives him some food and Kihyun thanks her. He reads the letters underlining things that are not quite clear, but every second he analyses the letters, the less it seems to be a suicide. But without much information is only a guess.

"What are you doing?," Asks his grandmother noticing all the notes he's taking over what seems to be nothing. 

"I have this assignment on my AP literature class, we got a portion of a letter from the Joseon dynasty, we have to analyze the motifs and to whom it was addressed, they just to write so different from now, that's why I'm so concentrated," says Kihyun hearing the door bell rings, he stands up walking to the front door.

"Maybe is the lotion I ordered," says his grandmother making him smile opening the door to find a beat up Hyunwoo in his door step, that relaxes when they make eye contact. 

"You are okay..... I'm glad," says Hyunwoo almost fainting, Kihyun tries to grab him so he doesn't fall to the ground, but the boy is taller than him almost taking him along.

"Help!! Don't close your eyes.. stay with me!!," Screams Kihyun holding him and the butler helps him get the boy to the living room, Hyunwoo looks at Kihyun trying to keep focus.

"Always," says Hyunwoo gasping in pain, getting Kihyun's grandmother attention, she gets scared when he sees the beat up boy in her couch.

"What happened? Who are you? Are you okay?," Asks Kihyun's grandmother, worried that Kihyun might have joined the mafia.

"Where is the first aid kit?," Asks Kihyun desperately

"Bathroom," she says and the boy stands up running to the bathroom grabbing the aid kid, Hyunwoo regains some of his strength back looking at the old lady observing him.

"I'm Son Hyunwoo," he says with a raspy voice.

"Are you hungry?," 

"I don't want to bother you," 

"It's okay, Kikie we are talking about this later," she whispers to the boy that walks closer to Hyunwoo, he just nods and gets on the couch opening the aid kit. His grandmother walks away and Kihyun gets everything ready.

"What happened?," Kihyun asks cleaning the wounds while Hyunwoo just makes faces, not really complaining about the pain, His heart just beats faster every time Kihyun gets closer to him.

"It's really nothing," says Hyunwoo, Kihyun doesn't buy any of it yet he wonders if that's the first time he ever says that, so he focus on the wounds making sure to clean and disinfect the area.

"You are really good at this," remarks Hyunwoo, and Kihyun just smiles.

"Minhyuk just to fall every second, when we were little kids he managed to get wounds all over him, i have to admit some are because of me," says Kihyun remembering all those times he took care of Minhyuk's wounds, and how to this day he carries bandages just in case.

"You two seem close," 

"We been friends our entire lives,"says Kihyun finishing, feeling how Hyunwoo looks at him with curiosity.

"Have you ever?," 

"No," says Kihyun closing the aid kit, turning to face Hyunwoo. They stay like that for like it feels an eternity, when Kihyun's grandmother comes with a plate full of food, making them jump since they were too focused on each other, Hyunwoo thanks her and Kihyun stands up to leave the first aid kit when someone knocks at the door.

 

**~2021~**

Changkyun opens the door finding Hyungwon and Hoseok outside, noticing how different they look from the day they went to Hyunwoo's place, to this day Hoseok only uses black, some times Hyungwon manages to put some color on his wardrobe.

"Come in please," says Changkyun letting the boys inside, they observe the small house that has a touch of both of them, Hyungwon can notice some of the medals, paintings, pictures and their Phd's hanging in the wall. They walk to the living room where Hyungwon decides to sit since his back is killing him. 

"It's been a while since we been here,"says Hoseok and Jooheon comes out of one of the rooms, smiling at them gathering the papers he has on the table.

"Do you want something? Water? Juice?," Asks Changkyun

"Do you have tuna?," Asks Hyungwon with a shine in his eyes.

"Hyungwon, you don't even like tuna," says Jooheon walking away, making Hoseok laugh.

"The baby does," he says making them wonder if it was always like that, having this weird feeling that something changed but they can put a finger on it, Changkyun goes to the kitchen trying to find a can of tuna. 

"What did you wanted to talk about?,"asks Hoseok, Changkyun drops the can of tuna, Jooheon looks at Changkyun, they nod at each other and gets closer to them.

"Come with me," he says 

"I'm staying with Hyungwon, you can go," says Changkyun giving Hyungwon the can of tuna, talking about the new choreography he arranged for Last Romeo, Hoseok and Jooheon get to the room, Jooheon walks to the canvas covering it with his body.

"What is it?,"asks Hoseok

"Shownu talked to us," 

"Jooheon don't joke about this,"he says while Jooheon moves away showing him the canvas, Hoseok's eyes open wide walking closer looking at the canvas reaching his hand but moves abruptly, scared of what he's looking at.

"That's Shownu's hand write, what does that mean?," Asks Hoseok touching the paint 

"I think you know exactly what it means," says Jooheon and both of them look at the word Hyunwoo manage to write.

**"Him"**

 

**End of part 1**

 

 


	10. 9. Gravity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even if it gets dark, even if I get lost, it’s you  
> I’ll look for the brilliant you (don’t go)~ Gravity (Monsta X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellaw~ I'm back with part 2 I hope you guys enjoy it, it took me a while since I was editing a lot, let me know what you think.
> 
> Thank you for your support always, you are the best really. 
> 
> Also there is a little smut, not that graphics since I don't know how to write smut~ 
> 
> Let me know your theories who knows maybe you are correct after all.

 

 

**Part 2. Guilty**

 

 

Brown, the color of earth, wood, stone, wholesomeness, reliability, elegance, security, healing, home, grounding, foundations, stability, warmth, and honesty, is a natural, neutral color that is typically associated with the seasons of fall and winter. But more importantly is the color that belonged to Yoo Kihyun's eyes, that observes him before walking to open the door. Hyunwoo could look at those eyes for hours and still find something fascinating about them, Kihyun opens the door finding Hoseok and Hyungwon that has his face covered by sunflowers in an attempt to make the boy smile. 

"Kihyun! I'm glad you are okay. Minhyuk told us what happened, you have to eat better and get your vitamins," says Hyungwon removing the flowers of his face finding a pretty pale looking Kihyun that smiles at them opening the door so the can come inside, Hyungwon knows the house quite well since he has been there many times before. Hoseok on the other hand is surprised of seen the most humongous house ever, feeling already lost. 

"Get comfortable, we are having some kimchi soup. Would you like some?," Asks Kihyun taking the flowers out of Hyungwon's hands, smelling them as they walk inside.

"Sure thank you," says Hoseok turning to find Hyunwoo with bruises all over his face, Hyunwoo feels their gaze meeting their eyes. Smiling so they don't have to worry trying to not make it a huge deal. 

"Hello," 

"I was so worried since you didn't go to school,"says Hoseok hitting Hyunwoo playfully. Hyungwon gets to the kitchen finding Mrs. Kim that gives him some soup remembering the boy. 

"Wonnie, how's your grandmother? Look at you all big. Tell your grandmother we still have a unconcluded game of Yut," says Kihyun's grandmother

"Hello, of course I will let her know," says Hyungwon playfully, Mrs.Kim notices Hoseok that smiles at her bowing. 

"Mi name is Shin Hoseok," says the boy

"Well now you are part of our family Shin ah, feel like home if you need anything let me or Kikie know," she says giving him some soup Hoseok thanks her and sits next to Hyungwon hoping that he some day will have this family feel with Hyungwon. 

Kihyun ask the boys if they can help him bring Hyunwoo to the table, as he searches for a vase to put the sunflowers, yellow means happiness but in some cases it means cowardice and deceit. Kihyun arrange them smirking, sitting next to Hyunwoo thanking them for helping him. The boys talk much Ado about nothing, learning information about one another. 

"Are you guys ready for finals?," Asks Kihyun changing the subject.

"No who is ready for those? If anyone tells you otherwise is a complete lie," says Hoseok and Kihyun couldn't agree more, both of them are in honors tests are hell. 10 pages front and back without multiple answers.

"Good thing we aren't in Honors right Shownu?," Asks Hyungwon and Hyunwoo nods still eating his soup. 

"I'm not gonna fry my brain like that, have you ever seen those test no thank you. By the way did you finish your project you talked about?," 

"It was a piece of cake," 

"You didn't do it did you?," Asks Hyunwoo while Hyungwon looks at him offended, holding his chest dramatically.

"I don't even know where my books are," he says 

"I just pretend to know what I'm talking about like 150% of the time," says Hyunwoo. Kihyun looks at him nodding. 

 "If you can't blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them away with your bullshit," says Kihyun between chew's and Hoseok looks like he just had a vision.

"I think I just found my senior quote," says Hoseok laughing. A few hours later the boys decide to get going, since they have to study for their finals. Both of them hug Kihyun and Hyunwoo walking away.

"Take care," says Hyungwon getting in the motorcycle, Hoseok waves and drives away disappearing into a few blocks away. 

"Hyun...," Starts Kihyun and Hyunwoo stands up slowly feeling a little better.

"I better get going, I will see you tomorrow at school okay?," Asks Hyunwoo while Kihyun holds up his Pinky, Hyunwoo smiles closing the promise walking to his car. Kihyun suddenly remembers that he needs a favor. 

"Hyunwoo can you drop me off at the store? Please," asks Kihyun and Hyunwoo nods, the boy runs inside telling his grandmother where he is going grabbing his wallet. 

"Be careful, love you always," she says 

"Love you always," says Kihyun walking outside getting inside the car, the city is always louder at night, today is rather calm relaxing even. Kihyun observes the store taking the safety belt getting out of the car. 

"How are you getting back?," 

"I can take a taxi or Uber,"says Kihyun but the worried expression doesn't leave Hyunwoo's face, debating in going or not since he is full of bruises and the last thing he wants is getting attention. 

"I'm okay," says Kihyun but Hyunwoo get out of the car anyway following Kihyun inside, Kihyun feels safe walking side by side. They get to the office supplies grabbing a white board, markers, highlighters, basically everything including duck tape. 

"Are you investigating something or murdering someone?," Asks Hyunwoo making Kihyun freeze on the spot.

"If only you knew," says Kihyun holding a cutter, taking the blade out observing it curious. Pushing it back Inside, turning to Hyunwoo asking if he wants anything, Hyunwoo says he is okay and pushes the cart to the register noticing a family asking for money, the elder walks to them giving the family all the money he has with him. Kihyun follow the boy deciding to buy them food they need, even when the family don't ask for much. 

"You two are angels, thank you so much," says the family the boys walk away bowing and get outside pushing the cart to the car, where they put everything on the trunk. 

"You are really kind," says Kihyun

"You never know when you are going to need help," says Hyunwoo getting inside the car thinking about Chang-Dong and everything he had to go through, Kihyun on the other hand wonder how such a kind soul could commit suicide. It doesn't make a lot of sense, there are too many questions not enough answers.

"What are you thinking?," Asks Hyunwoo taking Kihyun out of his trance.

"You, lately you are the only thing in my mind," says Kihyun observing the starts that shine bright, he never felt this way before.

"I could say the same thing, why can't I stop thinking about you Yoo Kihyun? That's not okay I worry to much about you. I just have this feel that I have meet you before,"says Hyunwoo stopping the car at the entrance, they make eye contact but doesn't get closer or anything. They just observe each other trying to understand the other.

"Hyunwoo," 

"You're the only one that doesn't call me Shownu, I like that Ki allow me to take you out on a date," 

"I would love to," says Kihyun noticing how Hyunwoo relaxes and he gets out of the car grabbing his bags, waving goodbye to the elder that drives away. Kihyun smirks hearing someone coming, turning to find Minhyuk massaging his temples. Minhyuk feels a stare finding Kihyun that smiles at him.

"How are you?," Asks Minhyuk 

"Fine, finals are almost here but fine," says Kihyun signing Minhyuk gets closer and helps him with some of the bags going inside to Kihyun's room, where Minhyuk leaves them in the ground. 

"What is this for?," 

"Finals," lies Kihyun getting everything out and Minhyuk remembers something.

"Can I borrow your notes for Economics? Mrs. Song didn't let me copy them even though I was absent," 

"Sure, just give them to me later. Tomorrow I have a date," says Kihyun grabbing the markers, Minhyuk's smile fades away looking at him serious. Kihyun doesn't notice still trying to figure out the the none existing space on his room so he would have to work on another room, thinking that his friend is happy for him.

"With who?," Minhyuk's voice changes tone, deeper than it normally sounds like.

"Hyunwoo," says Kihyun finally turning to meet Minhyuk's stare, that observes him with a darker feel dangerous in sort of a way. 

"Why him?," 

"What you mean?," Asks Kihyun a little scared he has never seen Minhyuk like that.

"Don't play stupid Kihyun, why him? I'm the one that has always been there for you not him," says Minhyuk really hurt walking away Kihyun follows him trying to grab his arm but Minhyuk moves away.

"What is it that you want me to say?," 

"Nothing," he says leaving Kihyun on the entrance as the guilt starts eating him, he feels like he is betraying his best friend. Kihyun sits in the stairs holding his arms.

Minhyuk gets home without saying a word to anyone, he goes to his room trying to calm himself. Holding a cup so strong he shatters the cup into pieces, he doesn't feel the pain from the cut he feels other pain more stronger. He goes to his computer deciding to search for the so called Son Hyunwoo but there isn't any information about him, sort of like he would never existed. Until something catches Minhyuk's attention.

**"Accident leaves Son Hyunwoo injured, Park Jinyoung died at the hospital"**

Minhyuk reads the article but doesn't find much information, just a couple of witness and pictures of a boy with a powerful sight and warm smile, finding other name in the article the boyfriend of the boy that died  Im Jaebum , totally forgetting about the homework trying to find more and about the mysterious Son Hyunwoo.

"I will find everything about you Shownu," says Minhyuk looking at the picture of the accident as the blood runs down his hand. 

Next morning comes colder than it was yesterday, Hoseok arrives with Hyungwon hugging him. Hoseok parks and Hyungwon gets down the motorcycle stretching a little.

"Thank you, see you later Wonho good luck with your solo," says Hyungwon walking towards his class.

"Go Hyungwon!!" Screams Hoseok making the boy bow and get to his class, Hoseok goes to his usual spot getting a cigarette but doesn't light it focusing on his composition, when Changkyun comes sitting next to him he jumps putting the cigarette away. 

"You want me to have a heart attack? Jesus," 

"What are you doing?," Asks Changkyun 

"Composing my solo and some notes from my AP languages class, I'm so tired I was studying for my exams," says Hoseok noticing his friend is not even paying attention to him, following his sight he finds Jooheon walking towards the gym, as far as Hoseok's knowledge they have the basketball game tonight.

"Just confess already," says Hoseok 

"Look who is talking, what is your languages class? English?," Asks Changkyun noticing Hyunwoo getting out of his car with dark shades, getting with them laying down.

"French, what's up with the glasses?," Asks Hoseok

"I couldn't sleep yesterday," says Hyunwoo closing his hands into fists trying to keep calm. 

"If you feel unsafe you can spend the night at our place," says Changkyun

"I'll be fine," 

"Really? Just look at you, don't tell me you are fine," says Hoseok when the bell rings everyone go to their class, Changkyun stands up going to his English class when Jooheon stops him grabbing Changkyun's arm.

"You are going to be at the game right?," He asks with passion on his eyes.

"I have to finish my projects," says Changkyun

"The game starts at 5 if you want to come, my name is Jooheon by the way," 

"I know that,"says Changkyun rolling his eyes.

"You will be screaming it later, see you," says Jooheon winking at the boy that looks at him go, walking to his class but Jooheon doesn't leave his mind. Jooheon looks at his teammates stretching, and warming up for a practice game preparing to play against one of the strongest teams in Seoul.

"No matter what happens we are still a team," 

"Yes captain," 

"What team?," 

"Elite," they scream a little worried, trying not to think about the other team. The couch gives them the game plan for tonight, Jooheon hopes Changkyun can make it since the game is so important.

"Go to class, keep your head in the game," says the couch and the bell rings, the boys change into his civilian clothes wishing good luck to everyone. 

"Smile," says Kihyun pointing his Polaroid camera at Jooheon that smile, showing his dimples Kihyun takes the picture grabbing it once it comes out, walking away with a peace out sign.

"Kihyun! At least let me see it," 

"Nah," says Kihyun getting into his AP languages class noticing Hoseok writing something down on a sheet of paper, it has different words that rhyme with love. Kihyun get closer grabbing his camera, sitting in front of him. 

"Smile," he says Hoseok looks at him confused noticing the camera, giving him a soft smile Kihyun takes the picture putting it away. 

"What are you doing with my picture?," 

"Voodoo," 

"Nice, good luck with the exam," says Hoseok. Kihyun thanks him walking to his seat with a peace out sign, the teachers decides to let them live and gives them the study guide instead of the exam. Kihyun thinks he needs 4 more pictures but concentrate on his work, minutes later the bell rings. He spots Changkyun on his way and Kihyun runs to catch him.

"Changkyun! Smile," screams Kihyun. The boy turns confused distinguishing the camera giving him a smile, the most pure smile ever. Kihyun takes the picture and gives him a thumbs up, Changkyun nods and disappears in the crowd. Kihyun walks to AP Economics finding Minhyuk wiring something on his phone, Kihyun gets closer noticing a bandage on his hand.

"What happened?," 

"Nothing, and don't take a picture," says Minhyuk noticing the camera.

"Please I need a picture," says Kihyun cutely. Minhyuk gives up and smiles at him Kihyun takes the picture, putting it away as soon it comes out. Minhyuk sights and Kihyun gets to his seat searching for his notebook but Is no where to be found, recalling he let Minhyuk borrow it. So he takes notes on a different sheet of paper, he could always transfer the notes later. The class ends and the students walk to their next class, Kihyun grabs everything almost leaving when Minhyuk returns his notebook. 

"Thanks," says Kihyun. Minhyuk nods walking away to his history class and Kihyun gets to Physics, not finding Hyungwon or Hyunwoo so he would have to wait until lunch. When lunch comes Kihyun grabs his books and a little note falls out. 

_**"Don't trust him"** _

  
Kihyun wonders who, the notes doesn't state names. Just like the letters he desperately needs, since he needs more information. Kihyun grabs his lunch walking to the table finding Hyungwon talking with Jooheon and Changkyun.

"So if you bite it and you die; is poisinous. If it bites you and you die; then is venomous," says Hyungwon as Kihyun sits with his tray of food. 

"What if it bites me and it dies?," Asks Jooheon eating some rice.

"It means you are poisonous Jesus Christ, Jooheon learn to hear," says Changkyun.

"What if it bites itself and I die?,"asks Kihyun getting into the conversation.

"That's voodoo," says Hoseok sitting next to Hyungwon

"What if it bites me and someone else dies?," Asks Changkyun 

"That's correlation not causation," says Minhyuk sitting next to Kihyun that eats slowly.

"What if we bite each other and neither of us dies?," Asks Hyunwoo getting to the table with dark shades, sitting on the left side of Kihyun that is squished between Minhyuk and Hyunwoo.

"That's kinky," says Kihyun and Minhyuk chokes with air, Kihyun hits his back making the boys laugh. The boy takes his camera out and points at Hyungwon.

"Smile," says Kihyun. Hyungwon gives him a bright smile, that makes Hoseok fall even more in love, and Kihyun grabs the picture not showing it to anyone. pointing his camera at Hyunwoo that takes of his glasses and gives him a warm smile that makes Kihyun blush, Hyunwoo takes the camera out of his hands and points at Kihyun.

"Smile," says Hyunwoo. Kihyun gives him a kind smile, that has Hyunwoo's heart skip a beat. He doesn't give it to Kihyun instead Hyunwoo puts it on his pocket, giving him a peace sign.

"Hey I need that picture," says Kihyun. When Hyunwoo takes another one and gives it to him, Kihyun thanks him taking his camera back. The boys start talking about their classes and how much they have to study for finals. The bell rings and the boys get their trash, walking in different directions saying good luck to their friends. 

"I will pick you up at 5,"says Hyunwoo walking away. Kihyun bites his lip getting to his class, Hyunwoo gets to his elective class getting the picture of Kihyun writing on the Polaroid Ki <3 feeling as warm as before. 

Changkyun bites his pencil, looking at the drawing not really liking the result. So he is not sure about transferring into the canvas, getting mad for all the hours he spent on it. 

"Don't stress yourself," says Mr. Oh that smiles at him. Making Changkyun wonder how he and Mrs. Oh are married since they are so different, but they're one of the strongest couples in school. 

"I don't get the feel," says Changkyun

"The shadows are amazing, but I want you to focus on what you want to say," says Mr. Oh going to another student, Changkyun grabs the paper ripping it apart deciding to start a new one. Thinking about Jooheon and what he might be doing. Jooheon adds the wrong ingredient in the formula and it overflows making Jackson scream, the students turn worried. The teacher tells them to get in the emergency showers, making sure to take everything out of their clothes. 

"Go change, I know you too are nervous about finals and the game but concentrate in class," says the teacher as the boys nod and walk to the bathrooms, changing into the only clothes they have left their uniforms. 

"Is going to go fine, everyone is cheering for you," says Jackson petting Jooheon's back, but the boy only thinks about wether Changkyun is going to be there or not. 

"Thanks," says Jooheon. Both of them return to class paying more attention, when the last hour bell rings. Students start leaving the facility and teachers grade works, Hoseok walks to his orchestra class to reunite with his piano. Hyungwon walks to the dance class looking at the bar, Hoseok touches the titles and Hyungwon stretches on the ground getting his body ready. Hoseok looks at the music sheet sitting on the bench, Hyungwon looks at himself in the mirror just as they were connected when Hoseok starts playing, Hyungwon starts dancing. 

"Be better than that, stronger with more emotion," both of them think but Hoseok presses the wrong title and Hyungwon falls to the ground breathing heavily, both of them look at them selves and start all over again. 

Kihyun walks outside holding the books close, waiting for his driver to pick him up. Minhyuk tiredly walks towards his car, noticing Kihyun standing in the cold weather. 

"Do you want a ride home? We are going on the same direction after all," says Minhyuk. Kihyun follows him getting in the car, Minhyuk drives slowly know really well that Kihyun hates speed. Hyunwoo observes Kihyun relaxing, he gets in his car driving home. Once there he walks to his room, leaving the picture of Kihyun on his desk turning the computer on, looking at the wallpaper of him along with the jjp couple that he destroyed. 

"I'm so sorry," he says almost crying, when his phone rings.

Minhyuk gets to the private residence they live in, stopping the car in his house since Kihyun lives on the next house. Observing Kihyun get lost on his thoughts, deciding to move him and Kihyun jumps. 

"What are you doing? Are you okay?," Asks Minhyuk. Kihyun just nods getting out of the car thanking Minhyuk for taking him home, walking slowly when Minhyuk stops him.

"What's wrong?," Asks Minhyuk

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," says Kihyun closing his eyes.

"Try me, explain it to me Kihyun I really want to know. You are my best friend and lately you are different," says Minhyuk making Kihyun open his eyes turning with a dangerous aura around him, he doesn't say anything walking towards his house feeling how his friend follows him.

"Don't,"says Kihyun with a dangerous voice but Minhyuk doesn't flinch, Kihyun goes inside slamming the door breathing and calming down. He opens his eyes walking to find his grandmother once he is calm, looking at her reading a book.

"Granny? Do you have thread?,"he asks 

"Yeah, I only have red left are you knitting?," she asks standing up slowly. Walking to the craft room and gives the red thread, he thanks her giving her a hug getting to his room. Gathering his things moving them into a room no one uses, putting everything including the pictures writing everyone's names on the bottom. 

_Lee Minhyuk_

_Yoo Kihyun_

_Shin Hoseok_

_Chae Hyungwon_

_Lee Jooheon_

_Lim Changkyun_

_Son Hyunwoo_

 

 

Organizing them on the white board along with the little information that he has of everyone, connection some of them with the thread that has some many things it gets tangled. Kihyun bites his nails thinking what to do next, since he would need more letters but since they are not consistent he might have to wait. 

"What happened to you Son Hyunwoo?," He asks to the boy in the picture that has his face full of bruises, ignoring the clock that just changed to 5:00 pm.

 

**~2021~**

 

Kihyun touches some cracks in the wall in the main room, they weren't there before. Wondering what is the past changing in order to make those cracks, or I it because he can't let go of Hyunwoo.

" _Why couldn't you leave a note?,_ " He asks himself walking to the room he keeps things he doesn't use anymore, he keeps memories of Hyunwoo there like letters and gifts. Noticing the Polaroid he took of every one back in highschool but something is missing, the picture of Hyunwoo.

" _Where is Shownu's?_ ," Thinks Kihyun searching for the picture but is no where to be found, instead he finds a picture of him. The picture is full of blood, barely been able to read the  **Ki** getting really confused about how did he get this picture especially in that state. 

"Ki?," Asks Minhyuk getting inside. Kihyun stands up putting the picture behind his back, Minhyuk observes the boxes and Kihyun smiles at him.

"Yes?," 

"What are you doing here?," 

"I was just looking for one of my books," he lies.

"Here?," 

"It was a while ago," 

"Don't lie to me, you think I don't know why you are here?," Asks Minhyuk with a threatening tone. Kihyun opens his eye wider surprised, holding into the picture that burns on his hand. 

"You are grabbing things for the birthday party," says Minhyuk returning to his usual bright state smiling softly at him, Kihyun confusedly nods standing up sensing that Minhyuk is looking at his arm so he decides to distract Minhyuk a little. 

"Why don't we play a little?," Teases Kihyun kissing Minhyuk that pulls him up and Kihyun wraps his legs around Minhyuk, that puts him against the wall kissing his neck. Kihyun hears the sipper of Minhyuk's pants bracing himself, when he gets inside Kihyun without preparing him. Kihyun screams holding into his dear life, feeling pain but he doesn't complain pain is part of his life he is starting to love it, since he believes he deserves it.

"I... love,"says Minhyuk between trusts as Kihyun holds into his neck, bitting into his lip trying not to scream.

"Agh! Min!," He breaths between screams hugging him closer, observing the picture on his hand as the tears fall when he closes his eyes.

Jooheon tries to decode what is happening, observing the canvas and Hoseok.that bites his nails trying to understand as well. 

"Him?," Asks Hoseok looking at the handwrite wishing he knew what Hyunwoo meant by that.

"Maybe it wasn't a suicide, what if he was murdered by someone?," Asks Jooheon making Hoseok open his eyes scared.

"Who? You really want to dig into that territory? Jooheon don't plan with death,"says Hoseok

"Do you have another explanation for 'HIM' Shownu is trying to say something," 

"I know, but I really don't know what it means," says Hoseok trying to stay calm as Jooheon observes the canvas touching the letters, is not only a complicated situation is also impossible to know for sure. Since the main person they need is dead.

"We need to open an investigation," says Jooheon and Hoseok's eyes shine with the idea. Wondering why would someone do such a thing to Hyunwoo and on the worse case scenario what was the reason. Who did it and what reason did that person had. 

"We need to gather information, witch means talking with Kihyun," says Jooheon. Hoseok look at him with a hurt expression, Kihyun is not an easy person to talk with since the accident he barely talks and spaces more than ever only to get out of his trance asking about Hyunwoo.

"I will talk with him, I have Hyungwon on my side he knows how to talk with him. But we need the police," says Hoseok 

"I will contact Jackson hopefully he can help us," says Changkyun getting in the room along Hyungwon that grabs Hoseok's hand, that holds strong.

"Don't worry Shownu we will set you free," says Changkyun looking at the canvas once again, all of them get separated agreeing to meet each other later with the information. Hyunwoo nods and disappears going into another location familiar to him yet so distant. 

 

 

 


	11. 10. Oi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stay as you are

 

  
The melody coming from the piano makes everyone in the theater feel a different emotion, from sadness to happiness in matter of seconds. Hoseok moves his fingers gracefully hitting every tittle lightly closing his eyes, he can feel the music Inside of his system falling in love with the piano even more. Some people in the audience shred tears, while Hoseok plays with more passion. Hyungwon moves at the rhythm of the song seemingly their actions look connected, Mr and Mrs Chae observe his son move flawlessly around the dance floor with so much energy, his movements never fail to amaze the audience while his parents get prouder of their son. Both of them end at the same time, sweating and breathing heavily as the audience stands up and they bow to their own public, Hoseok bows and looks at the lights on the other hand Hyungwon smiles at his parents.

"Thank you," both of them say facing the audience that applause more than ever, they bow walking back stage, Hoseok feels everyone looking at him and Hyungwon gets congratulated by his peers. 

"From Zero," 

"Shine Forever," say their teachers making the boys really happy, the judges on their own theater gives them flowers and an award. Everyone applaud and the competition ends. Hoseok walks away and Hyungwon talks with some of his class mates. 

"We are proud of you, I've never seen you dance like that it was breath taking," says his mother giving Hyungwon a hug, he thanks them for coming since he knows they're busy. 

"There is a surprise at home," says his father making Hyungwon smile brightly, shining as bright as the sun. 

"Really? I will arrive home later. I got something to do," says Hyungwon hugging both of his parents once again. 

"Of course. have fun," says his mother walking away. Hyungwon walks outside noticing Hoseok sitting on his usual spot getting out a cigarette, trying to find his lighter. Hyungwon gets closer he can see some flowers and an award feeling proud of the elder. 

"Congratulations!," Says Hyungwon making Hoseok turn smiling when he notices is him, with also flowers and an award. Hyungwon touches his pockets getting a strawberry flavor lollipop. 

"Congratulations Wonnie!!," Screams Hoseok making people getting out of the theater jump scared looking at him weird. Hoseok takes the cigarette out of his mouth and Hyungwon gives him the lollipop grabbing the cigarette putting it on his pocket getting closer to Hoseok hugging him. The elder reciprocate the hug, Hyungwon smiles and Hoseok feels at home, closing his eyes because he is hugging the love of his life once again.

"Do you need a ride home?," Asks Hoseok when they let go.

"Yeah but I want to watch the basketball game, do you want to come?," Asks Hyungwon and Hoseok nods, grabbing Hyungwon's hand making him blush and scream internally. They walk side by side to the basketball court where they can hear the screams of the audience.

____

Jooheon can feel the sweat running down his body as he looks at the clock noticing there is only two minutes left for the end of the first term, and the team is losing by 8 points. Making him not only mad but worried that they may not make it, the couch asks for time out and reunite the team.

" We can do this," says Jooheon cheering the team that look really tired.

"They're stronger than we anticipated," says Jackson cleaning his sweat.

"Yeah but that doesn't mean they're smarter. Keep your head in the game," 

"Yes captain," 

"Alright let's go. 123 Elite!," He says along the team, the blue team gets in defense of the ball, passing it to one another trying to not make any foul, elite manages to grab the ball and gives it to Jooheon, he tries to throw it but the other makes a foul, hitting him so hard he ends up almost hitting his head in the ground and the referee give him two shots.

"Come on Lee," says his teammates as Jooheon breathes slowly still a little dizzy, not really hearing what the audience says. Changkyun runs from his art class almost falling in the process but manages to get there just in time, noticing how everyone observes Jooheon about to throw the ball. 

"LEE JOOHEON!!!," Screams Changkyun with all his might, everyone turns including Jooheon that feels as if gravity would have pull him back focusing on Changkyun that smiles at him. 

"Go! Destroy them!," Screams Changkyun. Jooheon nods and makes both points, something inside of him trigger and starts playing even better, surprising everyone getting even, then ahead winning by 12 points. Everyone goes crazy when Elite wins, Changkyun runs towards Jooheon that catches him spinning him around making Changkyun laugh. 

"Congratulations!!," Screams Changkyun

"Thank you for coming, I wouldn't have done it without you, " says Jooheon observing a Changkyun with paint on his face and clothes, that smiles brightly at him. 

"Go celebrate," 

"Let's talk later," says Jooheon putting Changkyun down.

"Go," says Changkyun looking at Jooheon hold the trophy along his teammates while they rise him, Jooheon laughs following Changkyun with his eyes until he disappearing from his sight, Changkyun walks to his art class to finish his painting. 

"How was the ga....," Starts Mr.Oh but is cut off by the screams of both teachers and students making Changkyun smirk finishing some touches, when he's done Changkyun says goodbye walking towards the bus stop. Since he knows Hoseok's dead ass is going to the Hyungwon home, so he sits waiting for the bus. 

Jooheon gets in the locker room congratulating his team mates for their dedication putting the trophy on his rightful place, and they scream happy for their win. 

"What's up with you and Lim Changkyun?," Asks Jackson changing into something clean.

"Changkyun is my best friend and if I love him, is the way I would love a younger brother," says Jooheon cleaning his sweat. 

"I have a younger brother and if he looked at me the way you look at Changkyun I would have to talk with my parents," says Jackson making Jooheon laugh, he grabs his things and says goodbye to everyone going to his car, noticing Changkyun playing with his hands waiting for the bus and Jooheon drives in his direction lowering the window seductively, to which Changkyun doesn't notice. 

"Let me take you home," says Jooheon making Changkyun raise his head noticing is the boy. 

"Really? Thank you," says Changkyun putting his things on the back going to the passenger seat, Jooheon turns on the radio but every song on the stations are sexual songs making the atmosphere awkward, so he just turns it off. 

"What is your painting about?,"asks Jooheon

"Those moments of life that last about a second but still make you feel, you've lived a whole lifetime,"says Changkyun making Jooheon surprised as he thinks about it keeping the eyes in the road, they reach Changkyun and Hoseok's place but the motorcycle is not there yet.

"Let's date," says Jooheon abruptly surprising Changkyun so much that he almost breaks his neck trying too look at Jooheon.

"What?," 

"Look we'll just date but never talk about school, or interact with each other's friends, or acknowledge ourselves in public and I know this sounds like I'm describing enemies, but we can make this work. I'm Romeo and you're Juliet," says Jooheon as Changkyun keeps looking at him even more confused.

"It didn't work out for Romeo and Juliet. The play ends with a tragic double suicide, we read that play in freshman year Jooheon," says Changkyun done with Jooheon.

"That's how it ends? Why do people like it so much?," Asks Jooheon even more confused but still looks at Changkyun with love in his eyes.

"What am I going to do with you?," Asks Changkyun grabbing Jooheon's face putting their foreheads together.

"Just stay as you are," says Jooheon

"Let's date,"says Changkyun getting out of the car faster than a lighting running inside the house, while Jooheon breathes again grabbing his chest and observes Changkyun getting inside. Smiling like a complete idiot he starts the car and turns the radio full blast getting home. 

___

The air has become colder when Hoseok decides to take Hyungwon home, the younger boy grabs him putting his face on Hoseok's back, felling warmth and safety Hoseok gives him. He enjoys it so much Hyungwon doesn't even notice getting home until Hoseok tells him. 

"We're here," says Hoseok and Hyungwon opens his eyes turning to his house still with a cheek on Hoseok's back, hugging him closer.

"You're warm, I don't want to go home," says Hyungwon letting go anyways getting down giving Hoseok the helmet back along a warm smile.

"See you tomorrow," 

"See you tomorrow," says Hyungwon giving Hoseok a kiss in the cheek walking inside his house, where his parents surprise him making the boy scream in excitement.

"We finished your dance room," says Mr. Chae

"No way," 

"Yes let's go see it," says his mother, he follows them and falls in love instantly making him burst into tears. Hugging his parents as he observes the dance floor, getting a marker and the cigarette putting it on his stand writing S.H.S smiling. Hoseok touches his cheek smiling and gets home where he finds Changkyun moving back and forth around the living room.

"What happened?,"he asks

"I think I just started dating Lee Jooheon,"says Changkyun bitting his nails, Hoseok gets really happy for his friend since he finally declared his love.

"Congratulations I.M if you excuse me I'm going to write," says Hoseok 

"You got inspired again, and congratulations I will put this in water," says Changkyun trying to find a base, when Hoseok hugs him.

"Why are you squishing me with your body?,"asks Changkyun 

"It's a hug. Goddammit I'm hugging you," says Hoseok laughing and they let go. 

"Hyungwon has made you a more patient and empathetic person," says Changkyun putting the flowers in the table.

"Take that back," he screams from his room and Changkyun chuckles going to his room working on his history homework, writing  _Lee Jooheon_ instead on the actual name. 

"Yah! Jooheon!" He screams 

"Changkyun! Shut up!," Screams Hoseok writing the title of the song  _in time_  remembering the kiss Hyungwon give him, noticing snow in the middle of spring falling out of his window.

___

Kihyun bites the end of his pencil looking at the pictures, adding information to what he's got over the last few days but is still uncertain about many things, for example who would push Hyunwoo into suicide? Or in the worse case scenario murder him. Kihyun doesn't want to think in the worse case scenario even when it catches his attention the most, he matches pictures with thread and observes the mess in the white board, deciding to lay in the ground holding a marker and highlighter the letters are now almost yellow because of all the highlighter he has been using. He has put into trying to find an answer, something must had happened to himself since he isn't the type of person to left out information, he hates unclarified information.

" _what happened to me?,_ " he asks himself looking at the snow fall, there is a knock on the door making the boy stand up opening the door to find his grandmother. 

"Yes?," 

"Someone is at the door for you," says his grandmother making Kihyun confused but he nods anyways.

"What are you doing?,"asks his grandmother looking at the room.

"Nothing," lies Closing the door at his back, walking to the main entrance finding Hyunwoo with some flowers in his hand. Remembering that they had a date today, Kihyun smiles at him inviting him inside. 

"Thank you, I will put this on water wait a little,"says Kihyun running to the kitchen finding a new letter for him, he feels thankful but also scared taking it with him. Kihyun changes and gets down where Hyunwoo waits for him.

"Granny I'm going out," he says 

"Just be careful Kikie, Love you always," she says

"Love you always,"he says leaving with Hyunwoo, his grandmother observes him go and gets inside the investigation room noticing pictures of Kihyun's friends smiling reading. 

  
_유기현 (Yoo Kihyun)_ **-Murderer suspect**

_이민혁 (Lee_ Minhyuk)- **Murderer suspect**

_신호석 (Shin Hoseok) **-Murderer**_   **suspect**

_채형원 (Chae Hyungwon) **-Murderer**_   **suspect**

_이주헌 (Lee Jooheon) **-Murderer**_   **suspect**

_임창균 ( Lim Changkyun)- **Murderer**_   **suspect**

_손현우 (Son Hyunwoo)- **Suicide**_ **/ murder?**  

  
Mrs Yoo puts her hands on her face, noticing how everything is connected somehow. Wondering what on Earth is happening and why does Kihyun have an investigation board, with blank pieces of paper on the sides full of highlighter, thread connects the boys but on all the name's there is murderer suspect on the side.

"Kikie what are you doing?," She asks as the tears run down her eyes, she gets out of the room running to find the number of the therapist she knows, since Kihyun went to see him many times before.

Kihyun observes the snow falling in the street as the car moves to the destination Hyunwoo is planning to take him, none of them say much since is the first time they ever go on a date, a couple of hours later they arrive to the beach. Hyunwoo parks the car and Kihyun looks at the empty beach that looks white because of the snow, but the water is still blue.

"The view is amazing isn't it? I love it here no one is ever here," says Hyunwoo getting the things out of the car.

"Indeed is beautiful," says Kihyun helping with the things, they walk to the sand and put a little picnic wrapping themselves in blankets noticing how calm the sea is. 

"Are you hungry?," Asks Hyunwoo opening the Tupperware full of different types of food, that makes Kihyun's stomach growl.

"Very, did you cook all of this?,"asks Kihyun surprised grabbing some food.

"No I'm not very good at it," says Hyunwoo eating too 

"I could teach you if you want,"says Kihyun eating some more stuffing his cheeks just like a hamster. Shivering a little because of the cold weather, Hyunwoo gets closer hugging the boy from behind, Kihyun jumps but feels the warmth of the boy making him feel better resting his head on Hyunwoo's shoulder. 

"Tell me about yourself. Who is Yoo Kihyun?," Asks Hyunwoo resting his left cheek on Kihyun's head. 

"Hmm Yoo Kihyun, I'm 17 years old I live with my grandmother the owner of my parents company LIFE is very popular since is things for home and medicine, I will be the legitimate owner when I turn 19, my parents died when I was 7 years old in a car accident," says Kihyun stopping himself before he hurts himself even more. 

"I'm really sorry, it must have been really traumatic for you," says Hyunwoo hugging the boy closer and Kihyun closes his eyes feeling safe.

"They're in a better place, its still hard for me on special occasions like mother's day and celebrations like that, what about you? Who is Son Hyunwoo?," Asks Kihyun grabbing some water. 

"Son Hyunwoo? Well I'm 18 years old, graduating this year along with you and Hoseok, I live alone not far from here. I was born on Chang-Dong, and I'm not close with anyone from my family maybe only my older brother, I want to be a criminal profiler, "says Hyunwoo grabbing some food chewing slowly, as Kihyun looks at him with his wide eyes.

"Why did you come to Jungnang?," Asks Kihyun curious 

"I'm running away," says Hyunwoo

"From?," 

"Myself," says Hyunwoo remembering what happened the faces of everyone as they point their fingers at him, meanwhile Kihyun wonders what is he thinking about and if it's related to the accident or what made him kill himself, as the letter on his pocket crushes making him remember he has it. 

"Hyunwoo?," 

"Yes?," He asks letting the boy get out of his embrace, Kihyun takes the letter out reading his handwrite, opening the envelope deciding to give the letter to Hyunwoo that observes it confused.

"Why are you giving me a blank piece of paper? Do you want me to write something down?," Asks Hyunwoo starting into the piece of paper that has nothing, Kihyun suddenly realises something people who aren't part of the future cannot see the letters, remembering a person. 

"no Granny," he thinks recalling she didn't see anything, she is not part of the future anymore which breaks Kihyun that starts trembling again but this time is pain not the cold anyone.

"Ki,"says Hyunwoo

"I'm sorry...," Says Kihyun looking at the waves breaking at the shore, trying to hold in the tears trying to stand up but Hyunwoo holds him before he lands in the ground. 

"Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed thinking I'm going to break or something, live now take risks, this life is yours when are you going to realize you can do whatever you want?," Asks Hyunwoo looking at Kihyun in the eyes that still have tears on his eyes.

"What if I'm not a good person?," 

"I don't care listen to me, Ki I want to be with you. I want to see you smile, to share words when is needed. Just let me love you," says Hyunwoo pulling Kihyun into a hug again as the boy let's out a sight.

"Hyunwoo tell me something I can hold into and never let go," says Kihyun resting his head on Hyunwoo's collar bone as Hyunwoo grabs Kihyun's face.

"Let go," says Hyunwoo kissing Kihyun's forehead and the tears run down the younger boy eyes, as the letter in the sand mocks him.

___

Minhyuk gets home after a long day at the academy, turning to see Kihyun's house that looks empty, deciding to get there and apologise for what he did last time hearing a car getting closer noticing is Hyunwoo's Impala leaving Kihyun home, Hyunwoo smiles brightly at Kihyun and continues when they make eye contact. Kihyun thanks him getting out of the car, waving goodbye to Hyunwoo that drives away. 

"Kihyun,"says Minhyuk approaching the boy that looks at him done. 

"Yes?," 

"Look I'm such an idiot," he says and Kihyun looks at him without saying anything, Minhyuk looks at him offended holding his chest dramatically.

"If you are waiting for me to disagree it's going to be a long night," says Kihyun making Minhyuk laugh shining brightly, that Kihyun's heart skips a beat. Minhyuk has always been there for him and he just noticed how attractive he actually is.

"I feel bad, I shouldn't have said that. It hurt you," 

"It's okay I'm sorry for causing all of that, buy me food maybe I will forgive you," says Kihyun smiling. Minhyuk nods noticing Kihyun dropped something deciding to pick it up for him, reading Dear Kihyun with the boys handwrite.

"Oi you drop this. You write letters to yourself?," He asks while Kihyun's eyes grew wider taking the letter away.

"Sometimes,"says Kihyun thinking that Minhyuk can see the letters because he is part of the future, giving him hope that maybe some day he will tell Minhyuk what is going on, he goes and hugs Minhyuk surprising the elder.

"Thank you," 

"For what?," Asks Minhyuk

"Just thank you,' says Kihyun letting go walking to his house as Minhyuk observes him get inside walking to his own house, leaving his backpack on the ground getting to his room. 

___

When Kihyun gets inside feeling how his grandmother looks at him from the living room.

"You're back. Sit," says his grandmother really serious scarring him a little since he has never seen her mad as at his moment. 

"What is it?," He asks 

"You need to see Doctor Han again. I'm worried about you," says his grandmother he knows that she went inside the investigation room. 

"I'm fine," 

"You're really not. What is going on?," 

"I'm trying to understand, I barely even know who I am anymore. I'm trying too hard so you are right I need to see Doctor Han again, " says Kihyun and his grandmother nods smiling at him, she tries to stand up but stays down. 

"Are?," He tries to say but she tells him that she is fine, Kihyun goes to the investigation room that thankfully has a bed, either way he would sleep in the floor nothing he hasn't done before, getting the letter again.

_Dear Kihyun_

 

**~2021~**

 

Tears run down Kihyun's eyes when Minhyuk finally releases inside of him, Kihyun holds into the picture almost hurting his hand and Minhyuk kisses his face cleaning the tears out of his eyes and Kihyun kisses him again. 

"I love you," says Minhyuk between kisses 

"I love you too," says Kihyun finally letting him go as he feels something running down his tights deciding to take a shower. 

"Can I join you?,asks Minhyuk mischievously

"No," says Kihyun playfully running to the bathroom laughing, closing the door at his back. He walks to the sink leaving the picture, watching himself and his smile disappear but maybe he can finally have a kid after all this years. Kihyun gets in the shower noticing his tights have hand marks on them, probably will leave a bruise nothing he hasn't had before, he closes his eyes touching the parts Hyunwoo once claimed as his. He closes the water getting out changing in the bathroom getting out later hearing Minhyuk playing with someone getting a little weirded out.

"You're cheating," says Minhyuk's voice as Kihyun gets down the stairs turning to the living room where he is playing with a little boy.

"Dad you're the one cheating, daddy tell him," says the boy that Minhyuk hides with his body, Kihyun gets even more scared not sure who that little boy is. Until the little boy stands up getting out of Minhyuk's side and Kihyun observes him freaking out even more.

"Kangwoo?," He asks scared 

"Daddy what's wrong?," Asks Kangwoo getting closer as Kihyun gets on his knees extending his arm towards the boy holding his tears, as he touches the boy's cheek confirming he is real.

"My baby! My Kangwoo!," Says Kihyun holding the little boy in front of him as he cries, the moment is interrupted by a knock in the door which Minhyuk opens finding Hoseok and Hyungwon outside that smiles at him.

"Hello, the three of you. What's up?," Asks Minhyuk 

"Hello Minhyuk, is Kihyun home?," Asks Hoseok. Minhyuk nods letting him in as they notice the house is so pretty, and also Kihyun hugging Kangwoo as it was the first time he ever sees him. Hoseok observes Hyungwon and both get inside, making Kihyun turn letting go of his son slowly but still holding his hands. 

"Hello, say hello Kangwoo," says Kihyun 

"Hello Wonho and Wonnie, nice to see you again," says Kangwoo smiling at them strangely enough Kangwoo reminds them so much of Hyunwoo for some weird reason.

"Likewise, Kihyun can I talk with you?, "Asks Hoseok pretty directly.

"Sure, Kangwoo go play with your dad. Hyungwon are you joining?," 

"No sorry my back is killing me, you two go I will be here with Minhyuk,"says Hyungwon sitting in the couch, as Hoseok and Kihyun go upstairs. Minhyuk starts playing with Kangwoo again, Hyungwon smiles thinking how much he wants to do that when the baby is born. 

"Are you okay? You seem different lately is everything alright?," Whispers Hyungwon so Kangwoo doesn't hear.

"Yeah I'm just worried about Ki, he seems pretty distant lately," says Minhyuk looking at the stairs. Kihyun guides Hoseok to one of his empty rooms, sitting facing him. Kihyun looks weak, ever since Hyunwoo died he's been sorta here but not really more in like a dead state. 

"What is it?," Asks Kihyun while Hoseok whishes it would be Hyungwon talking since he knows Kihyun better and he isn't really good with conversations.

"Is about Shownu," and with that he looses Kihyun, his expression changes when he hears Shownu more like his soul would left his body.

"Can I bring you some water?," Says Kihyun leaving the room, Hoseok decides to go to the bathroom finding a weird picture, is Kihyun much younger with the word Ki on it. Hoseok takes it back to the room noticing a weird room, he goes inside finding a box full of pictures of their younger selves.

"What is this?," Whispers Hoseok hearing the door suddenly open making eye contact with Kihyun that let go of the cup breaking into pieces in the ground.

 

 

 


	12. X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " I can't keep running away"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in a while, I had some personal problems. 
> 
> For any Shawol's reading this story I'm truly devastated we lose an angel like Kim Jonghyun, the news destroy me and I want you to know everything is going to be okay, be strong for him, He wouldn't want you to stop fighting. Support SHINee and their decisions, today the moon shined for him. Our angel Kim Jonghyun 
> 
> if you want to talk with someone, never stay quiet talk with people that love you, you're not alone. Mental Illness is not a joke, is something horrible that many people suffer so please support them and be strong.

 

Hyunwoo drives to his favorite place on earth, as the sun goes down setting in the horizon. Once he parks in the building Hyunwoo says hi to everyone, walking to the rooftop which is always empty. That's one of the things he loves the most about the place how silent it can be, Hyunwoo observes the city noticing how the lights come out when the sun goes down.

"What are you doing here?," asks Hyunwoo without even turning around, the person steps out of the shadows turning the atmosphere more dark and tense, Hyunwoo turns facing Minhyuk that observes serious this time he doesn't have a fake smile on his face.

"How did you know it was me?," asks Minhyuk without breaking the eye contact.

"Is a gift I have, I can sense people looking at me,"

"I want you to say away from Kihyun. what you are doing is wrong," says Minhyuk only getting a chuckle from Hyunwoo that maintains a serious gaze on him.

"I'm no taking advice's from someone that pronounces the G in lasagna, when are you going to realize Ki doesn't even love you?," asks Hyunwoo harshly,hurting Minhyuk pretty bad but at some point he knows is not a lie.

"We will see about that, besides I'm not a killer unlike you," says Minhyuk triggering a memory from the accident, viewing how Hyunwoo's expression changes smirking a little. On the other hand Hyunwoo remembers everything that happened that day, the way he couldn't save his friend and the way he died in his arms, Jaebum's hurt expression. How much he destroyed his friends and especially himself.

"You don't know anything," says Hyunwoo a little dizzy.

"Believe me I know more than you think, stay away from Kihyun before you regret it"says Minhyuk turning away walking towards he shadows.

"What if I don't?," asks Hyunwoo observing him go.

"I will make you pay, I will personally make you regret being born,"says Minhyuk disappearing in the shadows, Hyunwoo blinks again since his eyes burn since he didn't even blink once. Unsure of what to do he grabs his phone, reading all his contact names he finds it deciding to end it for once in his life.

"Hello?," answers the voice after the third ring, the sound of that voice destroys him since he has damage him many times before, he holds his phone even more tightly.

"Hyunwoo? are you there?"asks Jaebum and Hyunwoo hangs up the phone, walking away as well once in his car Hyunwoo decides to call another person.

"Hyung,"he says when his older brother answers his call.

"Why are you calling? what happened?," asks his older brother on the other end of the phone.

"I'm going to Chang-Dong this weekend,"

"what? why?," asks his brother scared

"I can't keep running away," he says hanging up taking out the battery, Hyunwoo drives home leaving everything at the door walking to his room, he lays in bed looking at the ceiling closing his eyes slowly.

\---

Kihyun lays in the floor holding the letter on his left hand, he breaths slowly preparing himself for the emotions that he is going to get with the letter, he opens the letter touching his messy hand write wondering if it was always this messy. Kihyun breaths and stars reading the letter praying he gets more answers.

**Dear Kihyun**

_It's been a while my closest and dearest friend, I want to thank you for the change you make you bring my baby back I could never thank you enough. I wonder how far have you gone with Shownu, I guess far since my kid is here... right? you have been getting close? you have kiss him right? since you're lucky to still be able to see him or even touch him, I can't do that anymore .... you know how hard it is for me ? be thankful for once in your life._

_You want to know something? I didn't even told him I loved him before he shot himself in the head, I will always regret that... maybe that's why he is dead.. because I didn't know how to love.... maybe I was the problem... I get this feeling every time someone talks about about him.. that something is wrong bu I don't know what it is..._

_something is fishy but I can't tell what is it.... since they never found the gun._

and with that the letter ends so abruptly even Kihyun re-reads again but it still doesn't give him anything useful, he just thank him for his son, that if he remembers correctly he had a miscarriage. Kihyun sits in the floor holding the piece of paper and feels attacked by it, what is the rush with getting more touchy with Hyunwoo? why does he sound so desperate and calm at the same time? Kihyun stands up walking to the white board and writes.

 

_**"Who murdered Hyunwoo?"** _

 

Kihyun lays in the floor again, observing the ceiling, thinking about everyone. But who could do such a thing and why? all of them get along well. feeling a little useless since he can't even tell if someone is lying to him or not, why did his future whats to change the past so badly? are the questions that never leave his mind, as the snow slowly falls again.

\---

Hoseok wakes up with an Idea on his mind, that just for today he would use something more colorful. Hoseok owns colorful clothes all gifts from Changkyun in his attempt for giving him a little bit of life. Hoseok grabs a pastel pink hoodie he didn't even know he owned and some white ripped jeans, he fixes his gray hair and walks downstairs where Changkyun is drinking some milk almost choking when he observes Hoseok.

"Haha,why do you look like a rich suburban mom?" asks Changkyun laughing at Hoseok that stares at him more mad than before.

"First of all fuck you, I decided to give it a try to this,"he says grabbing some water.

"You look good,"says Changkyun finishing his milk, deciding to brush his teeth along with Hoseok. Changkyun walks to the door where Hoseok notices a car waiting for him,Hoseok looks at Jooheon waiving at him and he smiles wishing Chankyung good luck, Hoseok grabs his things and closes the door deciding to pick Hyungwon the one is outside looking for him turning left and right.

"Hyungwon,"says Hoseok making the boy jump staring at him confused, getting close.

"Wonho?,"Hyungwon asks confused.

"yeah"

"What happened to your clothes?,"

"A change,"says Hoseok giving him a helmet, Hyungwon goes to the back and hold him close resting his chin on his shoulder.

"I like you better in black. You look Illegal in black," says Hyungwon laughing, Hoseok smiles and drives to school. since is Friday everyone is freaking out, since the weekend is coming he can ask Hyungwon on a date once and for all before he graduates, realizing that their time together is almost over making him really sad since next month they graduate and are not going to see each other so often.

"Why so serious? are you okay?,"asks Hyungwon

"I'm taking you somewhere tomorrow, time sure flies," says Hoseok as Hyunwon gets out of the motorcycle.

"It sure does, see you at lunch," says Hyungwon

 "I'll be waiting,"says Hoseok and both of them walk in different directions, Hoseok notices Hyunwoo laying on the grass as if he where contemplating the meaning of life.

"Shownu? are you okay?,"asks Hoseok sitting next to him.

"Just regretting some life choices, do you have any of those?,"

"Of course. But they make me who I am,"says Hoseok making Hyunwoo smile, looking at the clothes of Hoseok and how warm he looks, innocent even. 

"Any plans for the weekend?"asks Hyunwoo 

"I ask Hyungwon out,probably I will work on my solos. What about you?"

"I'm going to Chang-Dong. I have some unfinished business,"

"I hoe everything is solved," says Hoseok observing Changkyun arriving along with Jooheon, Changkyun kisses Jooheon's cheek and Jooheon tells him something hugging him. 

"See you at lunch,"says Changkyun 

"Miss you already,"says Jooheon as the walk away, Changkyun gets closer blushing like a tomato, while Hoseok and Hyunwoo recreate the scene dramatically. 

"see you at lunch,"says Hyunwoo grabbing Hoseok hands in the most dramatic way possible, Hoseok turns with fake tears in his eyes, the wind makes everything better. 

"Miss you already,"says Hoseok laughing along with Hyunwoo. Changkyun looks at them laughing along, since he knows that was pretty cheesy.

"I can't believe you two  graduate next month. you are the only two that understand me"says Changkyun both of them nod and realize that is true. 

"Yeah but tha doesn't mean we care,"says Hyunwoo and Hoseok laughs again giving him a high five, Hyunwoo keep laughing noticing Kihyun arriving in Minhyuks car, the boy must have aid something funny since Kihyun is laughing. Hyunwoo gets mad, while Changkyun and Hoseok wonder what is he doing.

"Why is Ki with him?,"asks Hyunwoo with a more deep voice. 

"As far as I know they're childhood friends, most people at school ships them together.But Kihyun hasn't really said anything about it or really he doesn't care,"says Changkyun when the bell ring, everyone runs to their class and Hyunwoo  run towards kihyun that is smiling at Minhyuk, getting more bitter because of what Minhyuk said to him.

"Catch him later,"says Hyunwoo walking to his class not really paying attention since is the last day of school, his teacher talks about the safety precautions they have to make on the weekend, Hyunwoo thinks about Chang-Dong and the fact that he has to leave Kihyun behind.

\----

Kihyun writes little noes reminding himself that he is going to see Doctor Han today, for his grandmothers sake. But also knows that graduation is near, meaning college is getting closer, he still doesn't know the exact date Hyunwoo "killed himself" but he hopes is not anywhere soon. The bell gets him out of his trance and walks out to his next class, when he feels a pressure on his arm ready to punch someone he turns looking at Hyunwoo so he just follows him to a place he has never been and Hyunwoo let go of his arm.

"I just got the sudden realization, that you don't need me. You have Minhyuk why would you need me? and I understand" says Hyunwoo making Kihyun really confused.

"I need you more than you need me, you just don't see that I die a little every time I see you? I look like a crazy person trying to figure out what is going on, I need you. Minhyuk is my friend... I'm just scared,"says Kihyun and with that Hyunwoo stops breathing, stepping closer to the boy holding him in a hug. Both of them close their eyes, thinking about different things bout also how much they need each other. Kihyun opens his eyes grabbing Hyunwoo's face and puts their foreheads together none of them lean in for a kiss they just breath closing their eyes and with that hey could understand each other.

"Stay with me,"says Kihyun 

"Always,"says Hyunwoo kissing his forehead, making Kihyun feel at home. He doesn't feel the need of rushing into a relationship or anything like that.

"what are you doing this weekend?"asks Hyunwoo 

"I'm staying at home, since I'm going to see Doctor Han I want to process everything he says," Kihyun says still holding Hyunwoo.

"Doctor Han?"

"my therapist,"

"are you okay?"

"Yeah I just need o clear up a little, I have to much in my mind. I'm just talking with him like before, what about you?,"asks Kihyun 

"I'm going to Chang-Dong I have something to do,"he says putting his chin on Kihyun's head,not really wanting to leave him behind, since he knows that he is having a hard time.

"I'm going to miss you"says Kihyun 

"Me too," says Hyunwoo hearing the last bell for their next class, knowing that they will probably be late.They let go of each other and decide to get to class anyways, until the lunch bell rings. Kihyun notices everyone exhausted ready to get home, he sits observing Changkyun and Jooheon being greasy with each other, Hoseok sits and Hyungwon smiles at everyone sitting next to Hoseok. The last ones to arrive are Hyunwoo and Minhyuk, the boys don't really say much eating slowly.

"any plans for the weekend?"asks Kihyun breaking the ice.

"I'm planing to paint my apartment, we need color Hoseok,"says Changkyun 

"Can I help? I would love to see your house,"says Hyungwon while Changkyun thanks him, knowing real well that Hyungwon is basically Hoseok's only weakness, Hoseok pouts and eats his food in silence. 

"I'm having a date with Changkyun,"says Jooheon, they congratulate them and with that the lunch is over, everyone says goodbye walking to they classes, managing to make it to the last hour until classes are over and everyone starts going home, Kihyun walks outside totally forgetting he came with Minhyuk. 

"Do you want a ride home?,"asks Minhyuk on the way of his car. 

"Sure. Thank you Minhyuk,"says Kihyun smiling at him, walking to his car. Hyunwoo observes him leave before he can even say anything,clenching his fists. 

"Shownu?,"asks Hoseok on his way to his orchestra class. 

"I couldn't say my final goodbye,"says Hyunwoo walking away. 

"Take care!,"screams Hoseok and Hyunwoo smiles a him, driving away. While Hoseok gets to his class observing his first love, the piano sitting in front of him. Deciding to play a little before the class starts, thinking about Hyungwon.

\---

Hyungwon feels a different rhythm running through his body, its softer compared to the one playing in the recorder. His body moves slower more graceful but powerful at the same time, his class mates follow him. Surprising his dance instructor that takes them out of the rhythm. 

"Listen everyone, I was talking with the orchestra instructor Mr.Kang and we agree to let you guys unify for the last performance before summer break. For your next performance you need a classic instrument, understand it to the fullest and became one with the music, understood?,"asks Mrs. Cha 

"yes!,"says everyone, getting a little worried as Hyungwon remembers he has Hoseok, and with that he could finally see his house. When practice ends, he walks outside spotting Hoseok getting out of his class running towards him. 

"Be my musician SHIN HOSEOK!!," screams Hyungwon getting the attention of many people that stare at him, Hoseok stops on his tracs smiling as well.

"BE MY DANCER CHAE HYUNGWON!!,"Hoseok screams making the boy smile, walking to Hoseok's motorcycle where Hyungwon gives him money for the gas, since he has bring him to school many times, Hoseok thanks him and gets him home wondering what Hyungwon's house looks like from the inside since outside is gigantic, but enjoys more the little moments he spends with Hyungwon. 

\---

Changkyun notices the hour, almost having a heart attack of how late he is. He grabs his painting and says goodbye to Mr. Oh that wishes him a happy weekend. He gets outside and Jooheon is still waiting for him outside his car, making Changkyun's heart drop he walks closer gaining Jooheon's attention, he doesn't even scream at him Jooheon just smiles.

"You are late," says Jooheon 

"I'm so sorry, are you hungry? I will pay,"says Changkyun and Jooheon's eyes shine by the thought of it. 

"I want meat," he says opening the door for Changkyun that looks at his wallet praying to God he still has some money left, Jooheon gets in driving to a place he loves, is not fancy as Changkyun would expect but food there is delicious. they park and get inside the place sitting close to the window. 

"I want to know you,"says Changkyun after they order some food. 

"My name is Lee Jooheon.. I,"starts Jooheon but Changkyun stops him. 

"No, I don't mean your name or favorite color, I mean I would love to know those too. But tell me about that time you broke your arm learning to ride a bike, tell me your nightmares. The struggles you have and deal with, or if you ever feel alone," says Changkyun taking Jooheon aback, since is note the normal things someone would ask you, but he loves it because it means Changkyun really cares and wants something serious.

"Then I want to know you too, tell me if there is a voice inside your head that tells you 'you are not good enough' tell me about your childhood, how you got that scar on your knee? tell me about your first love and hear break," says Jooheon making Changkyun's eye shine, getting ready to answer every single question. 

"by he way keep the painting," says Changkyun turning the stove. 

"are you sure?"

"I have more that enough in my apartment," says Changkyun and smiles at him, asking more questions to Jooheon that brightly answers every single one of them.

\---

Minhyuk arrives home, along with Kihyun that holds to everything he can in the car, thinking how he hasn't forget anything about the accident and the trauma is still there, and maybe it will never fully go away, he parks the car in his house and Kihyun let go of everything when he turns off the car, kihyun smiles and Minhyuk smiles back. 

"Thank you. I will see you later,"says Kihyun getting out of the car. 

"Kihyun, wait I have something to say," says Minhyuk getting out of the car as well, making Kihyun stop on his  way home. 

"what is it?" 

"I'm in love with you, I can hold it in anymore. I've loved you since I have memory, you're a great person and I know it's sudden but I want to be with you,"says Minhyuk. Kihyun stares at him in disbelieve, unable to utter a single word since he knows he loves Hyunwoo but he would be lying if he said Minhyuk doesn't have a especial place on his heart as well.

"Min, I really don't want to talk about this," he says 

"why?"

"I'm not ready to be in a relationship,"Kihyun says walking away. 

"Is because of Shownu right?,"

"I don't know what are you talking about," says kihyun 

"Don't play that game, I know because of the way he looks at you. Shownu killed someone I hope you know," says Minhyuk and with that kihyun stops holding the doorknob, breathing before facing Minhyuk again, Minhyuk looks at him serious the most serious face he has even witness in his life.

"What are you talking about?"

"You didn't know? Shownu killed someone!!,"screams Minhyuk, making Kihyun confused since the letters never mentioned that, wondering what else is the future keeping away from him. 

"You don't know Shownu,"says Minhyuk 

"Hyunwoo, his name is Son Hyunwoo!,"screams Kihyun getting inside his house, letting his body fall to the floor leaning on the door ignoring the loud knocks of Minhyuk.

"Hyunwoo, what is going on,"whispers Kihyun closing his eyes, as Hyunwoo closes his trunk. Getting inside staring the car and drives towards Chang-Dong to finish what he started.

 

**~2021~**

Kihyun starts picking up the broken pieces of the glass, cutting himself in the process. Hoseok get closer to him removing the glass out of Kihyun's way. 

"Kihyun, what the hell is that?,"asks Hoseok noticing how much Kihyun shakes with a dark aura surrounding him, not wanting to say anything nor remember what happened. 

"Nothing,"

"my face is in there, and also Hyungwon's so you better fucking talk or I will make you talk," says Hoseok and with that Kihyun stops with blood running down his hand turning to face Hoseok. 

"Are you? I want to see you try," says Kihyun serious that even makes Hoseok scared he has never seen Kihyun this mad before looking as he cold kill him in any minute. 

"Ki,"

"I'm sorry.. I was trying to know what happened," says Kihyun looking at the pictures on the box. 

"Why did Shownu went to Chang-Dong?,"asks Hoseok remembering that Hyunwoo mentioned going to Chang-Dong for something but he never knew what happen and Hyunwoo never truly spoke about it either.

"I don't remember,"says Kihyun feeling a headache wondering what did the past change this time, noticing he is not even in the room anymore nor his hand is hurt.

"You look pale, what happened? you spaced out," says Hyungwon laughing a little and Hoseok smiles at him.

"What?,"

"We where talking about the baby shower, for Nari. are you okay?,"asks Hoseok making Kihyun even more confused since they where talking about Hyunwoo just a second ago felling like is is about to go crazy.

Changkyun and Jooheon get into the police station, looking for Jackson that observes them from his desk confused. They spot him walking closer, observing his desk full of pictures of Mark. 

"How can I help you?,"he asks 

"We are trying to find clues for Shownu's case,"says Jooheon 

"The file MBB0307, suicide of Son Hyunwoo?"asks Jackson even more confused, wondering why the lawyer and the forensic want o see a 7 year old file.

"I need you to re-open the case,"says Changkyun 

"I's been 7 years, it concluded in a suicide. Shownu killed himself a shot in the head,"says Jackson 

"Where is the gun? the note?,"asks Jooheon making Jackson  wondering how the hell do they even know that information about the case.

"what are you implying?,"

"Someone killed SON HYUNWOO!,"screams Changkyun making everyone in the police station silent looking at them, even the police officers wonder what is it about that case that closed 7 years ago.

"Are you certain about this accusation?,"whispers Jackson 

"Yeah,"say both of them 

"I will take a look at the case, but If I don' find anything it remains closed,"says Jackson 

"Thank you, we owe you one. And also say hi to Mark for me,"says Jooheon without thinking biting his tongue, Jackson bitter sweetly smiles at them walking away, Changkyun hits Jooheon on the head about to kill him in a police station. 

"I keep forgetting, I just feel it wasn't supposed to be like this, his death was so sudden. I feel like i wasn't like this before, as if everything is changing," says Jooheon getting in the car along with Changkyun, while Changkyun plays with his fingers having this feel like something is missing from them. 

**MBB0307 (Son Hyunwoo)**

 

searches Jackson in the computer, getting all the information he needs about Hyunwoo. Trying to find something to help him keep the case open, finding something really interesting.

 


	13. 12. From Zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " I'm here to finish what I started"

Seoul officially the Seoul Special Metropolitan City – is the capital and largest metropolis of the Republic of Korea, Population 50,801,405 people highly urbanized and the worlds sixth leading global city, with the forth largest economy. Hyunwoo observes the capital passing by since he is going to Chang-Dong that is about one hour from Seoul. His city, when he arrives to Chang-Dong he remembers the buildings he once met and the once he never got a chance to go, but regardless is the city that saw him grow, the city he loves and the city that hates him the most.

Hyunwoo drives towards his old house, that hasn't change even since the day of the accident. Even the MURDERER is sill written  in the front door, as a reminder. He swallows the sadness and gets down the car walking to the front door, knocking slowly his mother opens the door almost passing out. 

 "Hyu...," she whispers.

 "Who is it?," asks the voice of his father that sends shivers down his spine, and Hyunwoo ask her to keep it a secret.

 "Just a seller," says his mother smiling at him, making the latter really want to give her a hug but he can't at least not right now. 

 "Tell them we are not interested,"

 "Have you been well? you look so different. My little prince, "she whispers holding Hyunwoo's hand.

"CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR!!,"yells Mr. Son making both of them jump, Hyunwoo nods and she closes the door sending him a kiss, he touches the hangul walking away, getting inside his car. He decides to call his older brother and cry deeply, his brother answers at the second ring. 

 "Hello?,"

 "I'm in Chang-Dong. I need to see you," he says feeling like someone id observing him only to find his neighbors that recognize him, Hyunwoo starts his car driving away at the speed of light.

"You really came? what are you thinking?" asks his older brother worried for him, he only wants to keep him safe he knows that quiet well.

"I can't keep running away, I'm here to finish what I started," says Hyunwoo hanging up the phone. Driving to the place everything stared, parking his car he gets out with a face mask and a hat. He sits in the sidewalk and observes the cars come and go in the same spot his friend died. 

 "I'm Sorry Park Jinyoung, you didn't deserve that. I'm really sorry," he says with a broken voice. Standing up bowing to the spot, getting in his car driving stopping in a traffic light, triggering a memory.

" _I heard you got accepted to Harvard. Congratulations,_ "says his own voice 

" _I know, I don't want to leave. I don't think I deserve it_ ," says Jinyoung's voice in his memories.

" _You actually do_ ," 

" _How do you think Jaebum is going to take it?,_ " 

" _You're just moving to the other side of the world, is not like you are going to die,_ "says his voice as the tears run down his eyes.

" _I know,Hyunwoo! there's a cat stop the car!!"_ yells Jinyoung's voice 

_"we're in the middle of the road!!,_ "yells his voice as he remembers he boy getting out of the car, a honk makes him come back to reality he starts the car and drives towards an abandoned park, he stops the car getting out to sit in one of the swings, holding his phone. 

" _I'm going to ask him to marry me, after graduation,_ "says the voice of Jaebum as Hyunwoo moves the swing slowly, looking up at the sky, he looks at his phone one more time deciding to call the one he's been wanting to talk to since forever, and who's love took away from him. Im Jaebum, he presses the dial and waits. Jaebum answers in the first ring surprising Hyunwoo, that holds his phone as if his life depended on it. 

"Hello?,"answers his usual calm voice.

"Jaebum it's me," says Hyunwoo with a broken voice, hearing a soft breahing on the other line. Picturing Jaebum holding his phone with anger and about to scream the soul out of him.

"Hyunwoo, hello its been a while. How are you?," asks Jaebum still with his calm voice, there is no hate or venom on his words.  
"Hyung, I need to see you,"says Hyunwooo as the swing next to him moves slowly.

\----

Kihyun stands up once the knocks stop, he walks feels a little dizzy he manages to get to the stairs where he holds into railing, feeling a shortness of breath and his heart rise, as he tries to process the information he just got, his surroundings start to disappear as if he where loosing control.

"Kikie? sweetie whats wrong?"asks his grandmother getting closer as Kihyun trembles in the railing, breathing heavily his grandmother then realizes he is having a panic attack, he hasn't get one since the dead of his parents until now, she goes to him holding him as he hyperventilates trying to keep it together as his grandma hold him.

"I....Can't....breathe....," he says chocking a little, felling like he is about to die. Everything around him becomes dark and he feels helpless and like he is having a heart attack.

"Shh is okay, honey I'm here. I'm here Kihyun," says his grandmother holding her tears, petting his back and hair, Kihyun stars to calm a little hearing his grandmother's voice, until he can finally breathe telling himself everything is going to be okay, he holds into his grandmother.

"thank you,"

"I'm here honey, always. what happened?," she asks kissing his head still holding him.

"I lost control, I'm going with doctor Han tomorrow. I need to let everything go," says Kihyun

"I'm glad,"says his grandmother. hugging him just like she just to do when he was 7 years old, Kihyun is glad to have her by his side since she is the only one that manages to calm him down.

"I can never thank you enough,"

"Go to bed tomorrow you have a busy day,"she says kissing the back of his head once again, Kihyun nods and let go standing up slowly, helping her get up to hug her again, walking to his room. Once in bed he goes to sleep, having a nightmare that feels way too real almost like a memory.

_"You're mine! do you understand? why do you never listen to me!!,_ " he yells pointing a gun in Hyunwoo's direction laughing like crazy.

" _Put the gun down Ki, lets talk about this okay?,_ " says Hyunwoo's voice as he tries to take the gun but he doesn't give it to him, still pointing at him.

" _I'm sorry_ ," says his voice and shots him, Kihyun wakes up sweating, putting his head on his knees getting this weird feeling that never goes away.

"It was just a dream," he whispers laying down on his bed unable to back to sleep, until the morning comes he stands up with a horrible head ache, changing into something more comfortable without looking at himself in the mirror, Kihyun goes downstairs eating his breakfast. He asks his driver to take him with doctor Han, he says goodbye walking outside.

"Kihyun!,"says Minhyuk but Kihyun doesn't look at him, when Minhyuk tries grab him by his arm, but Kihyun manages to dodge it staring at him with a death glare walking to his car without saying anything. Leaving Minhyuk behind, the driver takes his to doctor Han as Kihyun observes the city without really paying attention.

"we are here," says the driver as Kihyun looks at the building, thanking him. It has changed since the last time he was there, certainly the number of windows increased since he was there it gives a little more scary atmosphere. He walks slowly towards the inside, his picture is still there. Kihyun walks sitting in the waiting room, he just to wait in that exact seat when he was 7 after the dead of his parents.He stop coming when the flashbacks stopped and he was more relaxed and accepted the accident wasn't his fault.

"Yoo Kyhyun, what brings you here? come in," says the voice of doctor Han, Kihyun sands up walking to the room he knows so well, he sits in the couch and observes Doctor Han, he looks older and happier in a way.

"did you have another flashback?"asks Doctor Han when he notices the boy more comfortable.

"No, I had a panic attack. I'm so lost I don't know what to do anymore," says Kihyun closing his eyes.

"How long have you felt his way?,"

"2 or 3 months,everything went downhill," says Kihyun thinking about the last few months, about the letters that had change him over the last few weeks.

"any suicide thoughts?,"

"No, I came here before having any,"

"Nightmares?,"asks Doctor Han

"just last night,"

"If you feel comfortable sharing do so,"

"I killed someone I love," says Kihyun remembering the dream perfectly clear, folding and unfolding his hands.

"Dreams hold clues of our future, so I'm glad you decided to come here today. You mention something about everything going downhill?why do you feel this way?,"asks Doctor Han

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," says Kihyun wondering if he can trust Doctor Han, and if he is part of the future. Kihyun grabs the letters gibing them to Doctor Han that looks at them confused.

"What is this?"

"My future self is trying to save the person I love, Son Hyunwoo," says Kihyun as Doctor Han looks at them reading them slowly, Kihyun bites his nails hoping he believes him.

\----

There is a Knock in the Chae's residence, Mrs. Chae opens the door finding a gray haired guy outside looking at her with a smile and curiosity.

"Hello Ma'am I'm Shin Hoseok, I'm here to pick Hyungwon," says Hoseok. Mrs. Chae smiles at him letting him in, calling Hyungwon that gets down his sweatpants, messy hair and a face pretty much done with life.Rubbing his eyes Hyungwon opens his eyes to find Hoseok smiling at him.

"Hyung? what are you doing here?," asks Hyungwon trying to look at least presentable.

"I'm here to take you on a date, of course only if your mother approves," says Hoseok, Mrs.Chae smiles nodding looking at them back and forth.

"Let me change, I'll be down in a minute," says Hyungwon running to his room, Hoseok stands there noticing an old piano in the corner of the living room.

"Do you play the piano Mrs.Chae?," asks Hoseok pointing at the piano

"Not anymore, now is just accumulating dust, do you play Shin-ah?," asks Mrs.Chae bringing some water for Hoseok that thanks her, observing the surface.

" a little," says Hoseok looking at the titles, Hyungwon walks downstairs, making Hoseok gasp at how beautiful he is.

"ready?"

"Of course," says Hyungwon walking closer to Hoseok, that lets him go first.

"I will take care of him, I promise,"

"I trust you, have fun you two," says Mrs.Chae waving away as the boys get in the motorcycle, Hoseok drives to a little restaurant while Hyungwon observes the city through the helmet, there are houses bigger than his and buildings of places he has never been too. Once there Hoseok parks and Hyungwon gets down following the elder, since is the first time he even comes to this place, is tiny compared to the 5 star restaurants he's been to but is full. 

"Table for two?," asks the waitress 

"Yes,"says Hoseok 

"Follow me,"she says guiding them to a table close to the window, the boys thank her and sit facing each other, Hyungwon observes the menu, confused to what to get.

"What's Bibimbap?," asks Hyungwon confused, Hoseok looks at the menu and then back at Hyungwon.

"You never had Bibimbap? Is mixed rice," explains Hoseok 

"No, and If I ever had it it was probably completely different, Five star restaurants are all about the presentation and stuff like that, my parents are real fans of organic meals, I rarely eat meat because of that,"says Hyungwon deciding to order it to see what he is loosing.  

"Cool, once I ate candy off the floor,"says Hoseok laughing a little, and Hyungwon laughs as well. Hoseok orders Bibimbap as well and decide to talk about something else.

"where did you apply for college?,"

"I got an scholarship at Seoul National University, since I've been an honors student and I passed my exams, you're graduating next year right?," asks Hoseok 

"Yeah, along with Jooheon and Changkyun, since KIhyun, Shownu you and Minhyuk graduate next month," says Hyungwon thinking how is he going to deal with the new couple alone. 

"Study real hard,if you need help with anything let me know," 

"I will Hyung, Thank you,"says Hyungwon the food comes and they start eating, Hyungwon falls in love with the flavor almost finishing it in one go, while Hoseok reads the menu finding something interesting. 

"Especial occasions get free dessert"

Hoseok smirks, while Hyungwon wonders what is going on in his mind. He continues to eat the food until he is done, Hoseok stands up and goes to him that stares at him confused, when Hoseok gets in one knee with a little red box. 

"Hyung...what?,"asks Hyungwon genuinely taken aback.

"Chae Hyungwon, the love of my life. My soulmate and whom I adore above others, my dearest most precious person.Who can do no wrong in my eyes because he is brave, dedicated and smart, the best person I know. so in front of everyone will you do me the extraordinary honor of marrying me?," asks Hoseok, Hyungwon smiles at him with tears running down his eyes, happier than he's even been. 

"yes.Of course,"says Hyungwon everyone applause and Hyungwon stands up grabbing Hoseok's face putting their foreheads together, the owner takes a picture and Hoseok hugs him making the boy feel at home, Hoseok grabs Hyungwon's face as if was the most delicate thing in the universe, kissing him and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways words could never be, his hand rested below his ear and thumb caressing Hyungwon's cheek, as their breaths mingled. Hyungwon ran his fingers down Hoseok's spine pulling him closer until there was no space between them and He could feel the beating of his heart against Hoseok's chest. They let go slowly still hugging, the waitress bring them the dessert.

"enjoy and congratulations," she says and both of them thank her, siting back again. Hyungwon touches his lips blushing, while Hoseok stare at his lips and how inviting they seem again, but decides to control himself and eat the sweet dessert, once they finish they pay for the meal and the owner hangs their picture in the wall. 

"congratulations, have a great day," says the owner and they thank him walking outside, Hoseok grabs Hyungwon's hand.

"That means we're dating now! Today is day 1," says Hyungwon giving Hoseok a peek running towards the motorcycle, making Hoseok soft and exited.

"I have a Boyfriend now!"screams Hoseok making Hyungwon laugh, Hoseok gets in the motorcycle feeling how Hyungwon hugs him close.

"Do you want to learn?,"

"are you sure?,"

"of course, its going to be fun,"says Hoseok driving to a place only he knows. 

\------

Changkyun opens the door finding Jooheon with a movie and flowers on his other hand, along with a present. 

"Hi,"says Changkyun.

"Kkukkung, I got a movie are you busy?,"asks Jooheon 

"Not really, come in,"says the boy opening the door inside the apartment, that is small with a little living room next to the kitchen, and stairs that let to the two rooms and only bathroom, is spotless and with many things in both black and colors, but is what makes Hoseok's and Changkyun friendship so pure.

"It's lovely,"says Jooheon 

"Thank you,"says Changkyun grabbing the flowers searching for another base, but the ones he owns are occupied by other flowers so he arranges them in the different bases. Feeling the powerful stare that Jooheon gives him, deciding to face the latter. 

"Are you going to kill me? You're just staring at me so intensely,"says Changkyun making Jooheon even more nervous that he already was.

"I..uh..well,"says Jooheon getting closer to him.

"I waned to give you this," he says giving Changkyun the present, he thanks him and opens it to reveal a cap. Once he heard a rumor that he owns so many caps is scary. 

"uh, Thanks isn't this one of your caps?,"

"Is my favorite cap, I love that cap,"says Jooheon as Changkyun observes the cap smiling at it, the latter sure has style. 

"and you're giving it to me?,"

"Of course, you're the one I love,"says Jooheon blushing and Changkyun goes to hug him, putting it on. Making Jooheon almost faint, because of how attractive he looks. 

"How do I look?,"asks Changkyun 

"Stunning," says Jooheon, Changkyun smiles walking o the living room. Jooheon decides to order some Pizza so they can watch the movie. 

"Are you a Vegetarian?,"he asks Changkyun 

"No, I'm a Aquarius,"says Changkyun making Jooheon laughs ordering he pizza, Changkyun grabs his sketch book drawing a little, Jooheon joins his in the couch. Changkyun looks at him and the page still drawing, Jooheon poses and Changkyun draws more intensely when Jooheon peeks he is just drawing a bee. Changkyun sticks his tongue out laughing at him, the pizza arrives and Jooheon pays while Changkyun searches from some coke, Jooheon places the pizza in the dining table and both of the grab some pieces, walking to the living room where Changkyun puts the movie,

"Train To Busan?,"asks Changkyun reading the tittle, as he sits next to Jooheon turning the lights out.

"Yeah, You will love it," says Jooheon as the movie starts.

"She's so cute, I hope she can reunite with his mother soon,"says Changkyun making Jooheon almost choke on his drink, since he has seen he movie before. But he doesn't ell the boy a thing, when the zombie virus starts and Changkyun jumps.

"RUN! DON'T STAY THERE!!," screams Changkyun making Jooheon exited, even though he has seen it before he grabs into Changkyun in the intense scenes screaming his lungs out and even crying at the end.

"Why did you put this movie? agh my feels,"says Changkyun Crying holding his slice of pizza, Jooheon hugs him and makes sure he is okay before turning the lights again.

"It was a good movie though,"says Jooheon.

"I was, I have a project over the weekend, you want to help me?," asks Changkyun and Jooheon nods, the boy asks for his hand and walk him o his room that is filled with paintings and colors,the room is literally full of life.

"I'm using your back as my canvas. I hope you don't mind,"says Changkyun while Jooheon nods, taking his shirt off and Changkyun smiles measuring his back, picturing what does he want to say. Changkyun  grabs his brushes and paints, while Jooheon observes him from the mirror.

"What are you going to say?,"asks the elder 

"How much I love you,"says Changkyun giving him a little peek on his shoulder, while Jooheon prays to God for some self control.

\-----

Doctor Han reads the letters, looking at Kihyun now and then. Deciding whether or not he is telling the truth, KIhyun observes him worried that he might think he is crazy. 

"How often you get them?,"asks Doctor Han, placing them on the table. 

"When my future thinks I'm not doing anything, they're not constant that's why I'm really lost they barely explain anything, I don't know when I'm going to lose him or why,"says Kihyun 

"Are you in a relationship with him? Hyunwoo? right?,"asks Doctor Han.

"No, I'm scared to start a relationship with him. I don't want to get too attached and then lose him, I can't deal with the idea that he is going to die if I don't save him,"says Kihyun getting a pain on his chest that never leaves, especially when he talk about Hyunwoo. 

"Have you show him these?," asks Doctor Han 

"Yeah, but people who aren't part of the future can't see them, my granny can't see them. You probably think I'm crazy"says Kihyun with a broken voice. 

"I've never say that, but this is weird i'm not going to lie. I'm giving you something for your panic attacks and hows your anger management? you haven't punch anyone right? I want you to place a camera on your room so I can Observe if you're witting them  or your future is actually sending them, but from what I've read it doesn't look like a suicide to me," says Doctor Han and Kihyun nods looking at his hands.

"Personal relationships are important, but start by loving yourself first Ki, may I keep one?," asks Doctor Han.

"sure,Thank you,"says Kihyun grabbing the medicine hugging doctor Han once more, walking away where his driver takes him home, reading the names of the so familiar medicine. Doctor Han grabs the letter again reading it slowly, when he feels someone hugging him from behind.

"Honey why are you reading a blank piece of paper?," asks his wife taking the letter from his hands turning it to the light still smiling at him, when he remembers what Kihyun said. 

_"People who aren't part of the future can't see them,"_ Doctor Han gets scared, believing Kihyun a little more. 

\---

Kihyun gets home walking to the porch where Minhyuk is waiting for him, Kihyun doesn't say anything and Minhyuk know why so he hugs him, Ignoring the pushes from Kihyun that finally hugs him holding his medicine even more tightly on his hands. 

"It's going to be okay,"he says 

"I'm scared,"says Kihyun holding into his friend, that keeps him there without saying nothing. Kihyun lets go without saying anything else he gets inside the house, thanking Minhyuk that smiles at him. He closes the door getting to his room, placing the medicine next to the picture of his parents. He hears the door open turning to face his Grandmother that observes him getting closer. 

"How do you feel?," asks his grandmother, Kihyun doesn't say anything sitting in his bed hugging his legs, hid grandmother sits next to him grabbing one of his hands without saying a word to him just caressing his hand, Kihyun can feel her warmth and observes her. She looks older, but still full of life. She is the one that's been taking care of him since he was a kid, and i was never easy,Kihyun returns the gesture smiling at her.

"I want to thank you, I apologize for everything I've done to you, Granny you give me everything sacrificing your own desires just to take care of a brat like me, I love you,"he says making his grandmother smile with tears in her eyes, he is like a son to her Kihyun let go of his legs deciding to hug her.

"let's do something fun,"says Kihyun 

"There is a car Cinema I really want to go,"says His grandmother 

"hen lest go,"says kihyun, his grandmother looks at him taken aback but follows him, Kihyun grabs the keys of her car and she follows him wondering when is he calling the driver since she doesn't drive anymore and Kihyun is scared of driving, but Kihyun gets inside in the drivers seat.

"Get in,"he says and his grandmother goes to the passenger seat, observing Kihyun the one gets scared to push the speed pedal but he manages to get to the cinema before the movie starts almost having a mental breakdown, but his grandmother pets his back.

"I'm so proud of you, before you couldn't even see cars and now look at you. honey you're slowly letting go the past, who teach you?,"asks his grandmother 

"Hyunwoo, Son Hyunwoo,"says Kihyun closing his eyes, leaning on his seat and his grandmother smiles at him ordering some popcorn while Kihyun smiles at the thought of Hyunwoo. 

\----

Minhyuk's smile disappears when Kihyun closes the door, marching his way towards his house opening the door to find his mother reading some magazines, figuring out the next place she want to go say for more than 2 years, even though she just got here. 

"Kim Mirae never answers my calls," she says looking at her phone reaching her voicemail again, while Minhyuk wonders if she is serious or not. 

"Mom, Mrs. Kim is dead she died 10 years ago, Jesus. Have some respect,"says Minhyuk and he walks towards his room when his mother stops him.

"Oh, your father is coming and I want you to make us look like a loving and supportive family,"she says 

"How long?,"

"one hour tops,"she says 

"See if you can take it down to 30 minutes,"says Minhyuk getting to his room where he has more pictures of Kihyun that his own, and In all of them he is smiling at him. Except the last ones, where he fake smiles or just doesn't smile anymore wondering if he is  going to be okay.

"Minhyk grab your shit we're leaving,"says his mother and he stands up walking to his parents, his father doesn't even look at him as they walk to the door.

"Grab your phone i don't want you talking to me,"says Mr. Kim they get in the car and cameras follows them, to the five star restaurant so expensive even breathe costs money. 

\---

Hyunwoo waits in the swing moving dirt with his shoes, hearing a car coming. He raises his head making eye contact with Im Jaebum that observes him getting closer. 

"Son Hyunwoo, how long has it been?," he asks sitting on the other swing 

"Im Jaebum, since Jinyoung's passing 2 years ago,"says Hyunwoo noticing how much it still hurts Jaebum when someone mentions Jinyoung, he was the love of his life of course it would still hurt.

"Lets talk,"says Hyunwoo

"Of course,"says Jaebum moving his swing slowly waiting for Hyunwoo say everything that he wants to say.

**~2021~**

Minhyuk notices Kihyun spacing out once more hearing about the baby shower, Hyungwon tells him how much he wants Kihyunto help him with the decorations since he decorated his own very beautiful.

"A girl?," asks Kihyun getting out of his trance confused still since he remembers they didn't even wanted to have kids, and that he remembers it was a boy but ultrasounds can be wrong some times.

"Yeah,"says Hoseok and Kihyun stands up walking to the kitchen to distract a little, preparing some snacks noticing anti depressants on the table along something for panic attacks asking himself what is he doing, it wasn't like this before he doesn't need that medicine when he is completely fine, he grans some cups turning to find Hyunwoo covered with blood pointing at him. Kihyun let go of the cups shattering into pieces. 

"You,"says his voice and Kihyun screams scarring everyone in the living room, Minhyuk runs to him wondering is he is having a panic attack since there is nothing in the Kitchen.

"He was here, I saw SHownu!!,"screams Kihyun while Hoseok turns and Hyungwon convers little Kangwoo's ears taking him to his room, he leaves him there still thinking how much it reminds him of HYunwoo, as he was the exact copy of him.

"how old are you? little Kangwoo?," 

"7," says the boy playing with his cars, and Hyungwon wonders if he could be Hyunwoo's son since the times do match up, but brushes the thought thinking is impossible. 

"Dad,"says Kangwoo and for a moment Hyungwon could swear he saw Hyunwoo but is Minhyuk coming to ask if he is okay, Hyungwon walks outside and finds Hoseok petting Kihyun on the back.

" _Hyungwon I can't feel Kangwoo, You have to take me to the hospital is my only memory of him,"_ says Kihyuns voice on his memories getting a little head ache, Hoseok turns to him asking if he is okay, Hyungwon smiles at him grabbing his hand reassuring he is okay. 

Jackson opens the small file that concluded in a suicide, a shot in the head even though there wasn't any lead or gun in the scene of the crime, he keeps analyzing the files and  drinking some tea he burns his tongue when he reads the name of someone that was in the scene, whose finger prints where find all over the place, whose body show sings of someone defending himself, the person who contacted the police, only to be found by the police spacing out observing he body, and that didn't even fought back when police grabbed him.

 

  ** _Yoo Kihyun ._**

 

**_End of part 2_ **

 


	14. 13. Honestly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations Mr. Murderer

 

 

**Part 3. The Final Chapter: Beautiful**

 

Kihyun doesn't pay attention to the movie, he just laughs along with people. To pretend he's really invested in the movie on the other hand his grandmother enjoys every second of it, remembering her teens and how she laughed along her husband that is no longer part of this world. Kihyun finds himself thinking about Hyunwoo,lately he never leaves his mind not even for a second sometimes it freaks him out since he doesn't obsess over things, he never waned something so bad in his life and that scares him. 

The movie ends two hours later,Kihyun focuses on driving back safely for his bad luck it starts raining triggering his bad memories since it was raining the day his parents had the accident. 

"Granny?" asks Kihyun still focus on the road. 

"Yes, Honey?" she asks a little tired.

"I'm scared, I don't know myself anymore. I want to approach him and get closer but I can't seem to approach him" says Kihyun holding into the steering wheel.

"No one prepare us for love, is scary to fall in love at your age especially if its the right one, we have to make mistakes Kiki we are not perfect"she says smiling at him. 

"How do you know? when is the right person?" 

" Your heart tells you, gravity pulls you together. gravitating with each other" says his grandmother Kihyun thinks about it, managing to get home back safe, he finally breathes getting out of the car. He walks to the mail finding two letters in the mail, one for him and another for his grandmother. 

" _Taemin Hospital?"_ he asks himself reading the address, his grandmother smiles to him again only to hold into the car, caching her breath almost like she was in great pain. 

"Granny? are you okay?" he asks 

"Just a little tired, honey" she reassures him standing still once again, Kihyun gives her his hand helping her to get to her room, she has pictures of her daughter, news papers and paintings he did herself also lots of books. Kihyun guides her to her bed giving her the letter, she grabs it saying that they are just regular check ups. Kihyun walks towards his room closing the door at his back, hearing his grandmother talking on the phone with someone however its unclear what she says, Kihyun walks to his room opening the new letter he just got, the hand write is almost impossible to read, but he still manages to read it because if he can read Minhyuk's messy hand write he can read almost anything. 

**Dear Kihyun .....**

He starts when he hears a loud noise that distracts him, coming from his grandmothers  room. Kihyun drops the letter running to his grandmothers room finding her on the ground, he stars screaming searching for his phone to call an ambulance. 

"Hold on Granny, they're coming" he says scared 

"119, what's your emergency?" asks the call taker 

_"I just killed my boyfriend!"_ he hears his own voice.

"sir? what's your emergency?"asks the call taker again making Kihyun come back to reality.

"MY GRANDMOTHER!! YOU HAVE TO HELP HER!!"He screams starting to feels like he's about to die, everything is getting darker and darker, he is having a panic attack . 

"we are in our way" says the voice, Kihyun stays with his grandmother making sure she's still breathing, even when he can barely breathe himself, he turns finding himself in an unknown bathroom that has the titles full of blood, his grandma was replaced with Hyunwoo that has a shot in the head in his left hand lays the gun. He screams as the paramedics take down the door running inside finding the boy hugging his grandmother as he shakes.

"We are here, it's okay" say one of them and Kihyun lets her go, they take her to the ambulance. the other gives Kihyun his medication that makes him more relaxed, he observes the paramedics take his grandmother and he runs to go with them, holding her hand. They get to the hospital and the doctors make him stay in the waiting room, Kihyun sits calling someone, he needs right now. 

"Hello.. this is Hyunwoo, sorry I can't answer right now, leave a message and I will get back to you next year.." says the voice of Hyunwoo, Kihyun holds into his knees observing his contacts deciding to call another person. 

"Hello?"answers Minhyuk 

"I need you, come see me at Taemin's hospital" says Kihyun 

"I'll be right there" 

"Thank you" says Kihyun hanging the phone, when the doctor gathers his attention, asking him to go with him. 

"She's not going to make it her heart is too weak for a operation" says the doctor and reality slaps Kihyun across the face, asking himself why didn't he see it sooner, he thanks the doctor walking inside her room. He leaves his phone on the table forgetting about it, as he looks at his grandmother.

"I'm so sorry" he whispers as the tears run down his eyes. 

\--------

The swings move slowly Hyunwoo and Jaebum don't really say much, both of them enjoy the silence. They weren't really talkative before it was always Jinyoung the mood maker. 

"I want to apologize" says Hyunwoo finally breaking the silence. 

"about what?" asks Jaebum confused

"I killed him, I should be in prison" says Hyunwoo 

"I killed him too then, his mother killed him for not being able to pick him up. His father killed him for being having an affair instead of saying home and pick him up, or that cat killed him. We all killed Park Jinyoung, stop blaming yourself" says Jaebum as Hyunwoo stops his swing observing the elder that is serious, he is not pretending to be fine not anymore unlike everyone else in Chang-Dong.

"The Parks waned to blame someone, unfortunately it was you since you where with him that day, they called you murderer, and put you through so much, until you come clean because it wasn't your fault" says Jaebum making Hyunwoo remember that day as if was yesterday.

_That day Hyunwoo decided to give Jinyoung a ride home since his parents couldn't make it, in the car they stared to talk about universities and everything they will going to need, since Hyunwoo was going to graduate next year, Jinyoung had asked Hyunwoo to drive a little faster than usual since he needed to be home soon, he wanted to make sure he got in the university he wanted. Out of no where a Cat almost hit the car, Jinyoung asked him to stop the car running to get it almost getting hit by a car, Jinyoung's phone rang and Hyunwoo noticed in the ground, he noticed it was Jaebum . Hyunwoo tried to get it without realizing his feet was in the speed pedal, when Jinyoung got closer holding the cat Hyunwoo managed to stop the car, the driver on the back didn't hitting his car at full speed, the car went run over Jinyoung hitting him pretty bad,head first hitting the ground then his body. Hyunwoo's bag open almost killing  him, he managed to get out his head was turning really bad, he found his friend in a pile of his own blood._

_"JINYOUNG!! CALL 119!!!" he screamed as the blood tainted the ground red, the ambulance come taking the boy inside as Hyunwoos hands called him a murderer, the doctors did everything they could to save him but Jinyoung died 2 hours later in the operation table. Everyone was devastated, pointing his fingers at Hyunwoo blaming him, calling him names specifically murderer, everyone that knew Jinyoung hated him. Hyunwoo took all the blame without hesitation thinking he really deserved all of it. The police stated it was an accident and let him free, of charges but everyone at school didn't, students would throw their desk at him, spit at him, push him, even throwing pig blood at him  telling him he was a murderer. Things weren't nice at home either, his father would beat him and tell him he wasn't his son anymore. Hyunwoo couldn't take it anymore._

_"I can't do this anymore, I'm leaving" he said packing his things that weren't many , he took his car and decide to go to Jungnang a place he had never been to, where no one knew him, Hyunwoo enrolled in school keeping in touch with his brother, but he grow tired of hearing the same things over and over. so he cut ties, deciding to start from zero but always remembering his friend._

"He doesn't blame you, stop blaming yourself" says Jaebum hugging his friend and both of them cry, feeling how a heavyweight leaves their soul, they needed to talk about it to finally move forward. 

"Thank you...what happened to the Cat?" 

"I kept her, I named her Nora. Have you met someone?" asks his friend. 

"Why?"

"You glow different than before, I'm glad.. I'm starting to see people as well " says Jaebum looking up at he sky, Jinyoung smiles at them from afar before finally leaving this world behind. 

"I want to see Jinnie" says Hyunwoo 

"Then lets go"says Jaebum getting in his car, Hyunwoo notices one missed call from Kihyun deciding to give him a call but the younger doesn't answer the phone, making Hyunwoo worried for him. 

\----

Hoseok opes the door of the apartment finding pizza grabbing a piece, he walks to his room noticing  Changkyun painting something on Jooheon's back, both of them make awkward eye contact. 

"I'm not even going to ask" says Hoseok getting in his room hearing a little laugh, he observes the keyboard touching the tittles, he hears his friends in the other room making him smile. He starts writing his solo for the final project since they graduate in 2 months, he plays the piano picturing Hyungwon dancing to the melody. So he send him a little part of the song, Hyungwon keeps touching his lips smiling like an idiot, hearing his phone he notices a message from Hoseok and opesn it hearing an unique melody that makes him want to dance, gracefully. 

"I love it, I can't wait to hear all of it"says Hyungwon in a voice message, he walks to his room when he gets another message this time from Kihyun. 

Hoseok smiles at his phone and keeps working on the song, as he can totally hear Changkyun and Jooheon. Hearing them laugh, Jooheon realized is a portrait of himself. 

"What? you are love to me" says Changkyun  making Jooheon pull him closer, Changkyun grabs him their lips brush not innocently, like a tease but hot fiery, passionate and demanding until Jooheon moves. 

"Changkyun" he whispers slowly prolonging each letter  as if to savor them making Changkyun's heart beat faster leaning for another one, this time slower and full of love.

"You have to go now" says Changkyun breaking the kiss as Jooheon smiles. 

"See you later" he says putting his shirt again, Changkyun puts the cap on winking at him, as he hugs the elder. 

"Miss you already, see you Wonho its a pretty lovely song" says Jooheon walking away as he gets a call from Minhyuk asking him to meet him at the hospital. Hoseok stops playing and leans ton the door frame along with Changkyun. 

"We are so in love" says Hoseok 

"And to think my mom thought we would end up together" laughs Changkyun turning to get in his room.

"I wouldn't date you either" says Hoseok going for another piece of Pizza, he goes to his room writing a little more, he gets distracted with the song leaning in the tittles making a horrible sound scarring him, Changkyun jumps ruining his drawing.

"Fu..."he screams   

\---

Minhyuk gets to the hospital fining the room Mrs. Yoo is, he observes Kihyun holding her hand almost as if i was something that could save his life.

"Kihyun"he says Kihyun turns crying even harder, he stands up walking to hug him.

"Min, I'm scared" he says holding into him, Minhyuk keeps him close, giving him kisses in the head and rubbing his back as Kihyun cries like never before, Kihyun let go slowly as Minhyuk gets closer and closer, when the doctor opens the door. 

"May I have a word with you?" he asks Kihyun that nods at him walking outside. 

"How bad is it?" asks Kihyun 

"Terminal, a month tops, I wonder why didn't she tell you. We send you countless of letters" says the doctor, Kihyun turns observing his Minhyuk hold his grandmother's hand, he tries to think why he didn't saw it before. Why he was so blind, he was so worried about the letters that he didn't even notice how sick she was. 

"She did it to protect me, she didn't want me to worry" he says remembering many times she pretended to be just fine, just to protect him, to not hurt him.

"I'm really sorry" says the doctor, Mrs. Yoo opens her eyes noticing Minhyuk observing Kihyun talking to the doctor. 

"Min, come close" she says and the boy hold her hand. 

"Take care of Kiki, he will need you more than anyone, more than you need yourself. You have my blessing, just protect him especially from himself" she says closing her eyes again, Kihyuns phone rings, Minhyuk looks at the contact name and reads "Shownu Hyung <3" letting it ring Kihyun comes back just when the phone stop ringing, he looks at his grandmother sleeping and decides to go home for now, he doesn't like hospitals after all it was the place his parents died. Kihyun walks away without saying a word when Minhyuk grabs him. 

"Can't you say something?" asks Minhyuk holding into the boy tightly Kihyun doesn't reciprocate the hug, he just stares into nothing with no light in his eyes almost like he was dead, Kihyun pushes Minhyuk and he grabs his arm. 

"Let me go" says Kihyun with a monotone voice . 

"We have to talk, Ki" 

"I want to go home," he says moving his arm Minhyuk doesn't let go, Kihyun's expression changes observing hi like a lion looking at his prey, with his other hand he twists his hand into other direction making Minhyuk scream letting him go as Kihyun walks to the exit holding into the walls, feeling the rain in his body asking for a cap that takes him home, Minhyuk massages his hand, he has never seen Kihyun like that. 

"Thank you keep the change" says Kihyun giving the driver more than enough, he gets out observing his house, he gets soaking wet getting inside, he feels even more lonely as he walks alone to his grandmothers room, is neat and clean with many pictures, Kihyun observes the letter in the ground wondering where is the other ones, he opens one of her drawers and find a bunch of letters. 

_**MRS.YOO the results came back positive, we found Shy-Dragger Syndrome is a rare degenerative disorder, affecting your body involuntary functions , including blood pressure, breathing  and muscle control most cases have a 7 year life expectancy we are really sorry.** _

****Kihyun reads the date was three days after he was released from the accident of his parents she has deal with this sickness that is literally killing her for more than 7 years, and he never asked how she was. How was she feeling even though she raised him.

"Granny" he whispers as he breaks, he starts getting really angry, walking to his investigation room destroying everything until his whole investigation room is in pieces,he goes to his room holding his fists into his chest screaming and punching he ground as the letter from himself lays in the ground next to him. 

**Dear Kihyun**

_I made it through the day . I must have said "I'm fine" at least 37 times and I didn't mean any of them, You almost graduate right ? When Hyunwoo comes back, just do what ever you want. I'm honestly so tired of telling you what to do, I have my son already what else would I want, and the changes you're making are not even that big.. Maybe that was Shownu's destiny all this time.. to die, us getting hurt , Maybe it was to make us grow.. stop taking that medication they are only making you worse, your panic attacks will not happen again... and enjoy Shownu while you can who knows when are you going to see him for the last time._

_Maybe it was you, all this time.. he knew about the affair with Minhyuk.. that's why you don't even know if the kid is his or not, thats why you didn't even got to finish college.. you don't know what you want Kihyun, You don't even know how to protect the people you love, you are disgusting to me stop changing everything, or else you will get hurt by your own actions._

_You are not a good person Ki, you will never be you know i'm not going to bother to save him anymore, why would I? so he can leave me for someone else.. I didn't mention it ha? he was going to break up with me that day ... but he killed himself instead , guess what Ki? you are a murderer suspect. Congratulations Mr. Murderer have fun until  October 17 , 2 years from now, your second year of college... when I pulled the trigger...._

**_KIhyun._ **

Kihyun can hear the doorbell and he sands up ignoring the letter running to the door, he opes it grabbing the person by the collar, throwing the person the the ground punching him as the vanilla sent fades even more.

**~2021~**

The doorbell rings, Minhyuk opens the door finding Jackson Wang in the entrance, looking at them serious, Kihyun still tries to keep breathing. 

"Jackson, what brings you here?" asks Minhyuk letting the boy in, looking at the house noticing Hoseok and Hyungwon trying to console Kihyun that keeps hyperventilating. 

"Yoo Kihyun you are under arrest for the murder of Son Hyunwoo, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right of an attorney if you can't afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have read to you? with this rights in mind do you wish to speak to me?" asks Jackson but Kihyun doesn't say anything, Jackson gets closer and grabs him but Minhyuk tries to stops him.

"I have a warrant, you better not intervene Sargent Lee" says Jackson 

"I understand" says Minhyuk 

"come with me Kihyun" says Jackson walking out with the boy, getting inside the police car, as Hoseok and Hyungwon stand petrified, when Hyungwon stars to feel a sharp pain in his lower back noticing blood dripping down his legs and nose staining the white tiles. 

"HOSEOK!!!" he screams as Hoseok turns his eyes open wide running to him that hold him, Hoseok lifts him running to the car.

"Dad? where are they taking daddy and uncle WonWon?" asks Kangwoo but Minhyuk doesn't answer, he stares at the door completely ignoring the blood and his son, trying to find a solution. Kangwoo gets closer trying to get his fathers attention but Minhyuk snaps. 

"Don't touch me, go to your room" says Minhyuk pissed off, Kangwoo observes his father go pass by someone that he has never seen before, Kihyun looks at the people observing him pointing his fingers and whispering things, they get to the police station he lowers his head, the officers look at him surprised and Changkyun that comes out of forensics observes him go into an interrogation room. Kihyun observes the cracks in the walls, punches in the table the desperation of people getting out of here, he looks down his hands. 

"Hyung?" he hears Changkyu's voice Kihyun observes him with no light in his eyes, and a scary smirk. 

"Kyunnie" he says with a different tone, that really scares him, but still looks at him with a strong sight.

"what are you doing here?"

"call Jooheon I need a lawyer" says Kihyun wihout any emotion in his voice, Changkyun gets out of the room callng Jooheon telling him that Kihyun was the one that killed Hyunwoo. Jooheon gets in his car and drives really fast getting in the police station as fast as he can.

In the hospitaln Hyungwon screams for his life, but more importantly his baby.

"Save him please!"Screams Hyungwon 

Jooheon gets in the police station opening the interrogation room about to punch Kihyun that does't even flinch, and the punch never comes, Kihyun just looks at him. 

"I want to kill you so bad, I need to know what happened on October 17, 2009" says Jooheon sitting in the chair in front of him getting the documents out. 

"I don't know" says trying to remember.

"Really? in my life I only had two types of clients those who accept their situation and cooperate, even if that mean going places they don't want to go, and those that think they are smarter than I am and want me to free them without getting dirty.. you're the second one hyung, so let me be clear about one thing. There will be no salvation without suffering and you're not smarter than I am... so cooperate with me Yoo Kihyun" says Jooheon opening a file with pictures of Hyunwoo spreding them across the table.

"I don't remember" says Kihyun not even looking at the pictures, while Jooheon gets even more mad.

"Don't lie to me Hyung" says Jooheon as Kihyun looks at him and something changes in him, his eyes are different and he smiles while Jooheon still stares.

"I have all day Kihyun, so lets begin" says Jooheon 

"You want to play?" asks Kihyun with a monotone voice looking at the pictures as a tear forms in his eye.

"Let's play" says Kihyun as the tear falls. 

Hyungwon tries to focus his sight barely noticing how his son doesn't move nor cry, the doctors make everything they can o save the baby, there is another sharp pain as Hoseok grabs his hand and Hyungwon starts to see everything blurry. 

"Hyungwon?"asks Hoseok but the boy doesn't respond. 

"DOCTOR!!" screams Hoseok when Hyungwon's heart pulse becomes a flat line. 

 


	15. 14. Fallin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He send me a message"

 

_BLOOD_ stains the white marble floor, Kihyun keeps hitting the person over and over. He ignores the pleas of help, that somehow have a familiar voice, the person manages to push the boy away dragging himself to a safe place as fast his damaged body allows him. He gets to the bathroom closing the door, with trembling fingers he manages to make a phone call. 

"Hello?" answers Hoseok's voice on the other end, wondering why is the other boy awake at this god forsaken hour since he's usually asleep within minutes he arrives home. 

"HELP ME!! HE IS CRAZY!! HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!! KIHYUN LOST HIS MIND!" screams the voice as a loud bang can be heard on the back, the phone call abruptly ends and Hoseok holds into his phone scared, but he cares more about the boy so he stands up and grabs his keys driving since the love of life is in danger. 

" _Don't worry Hyungwon I'm coming"_ thinks Hoseok; meanwhile Kihyun manages to break the door with a hammer, smirking at Hyungwon with a dark aura he has never seen before, almost like it was a completely different person, Kihyun steps slowly as Hyungwon screams and tries to kick him but his body is way to damaged. Kihyun grabs the hammer stronger along with one of his legs making the boy hiss. 

"Should I break one? or Both?" asks Kihyun while Hyungwon tries to focus, Kihyun is about to break his leg when Hoseok grabs the smaller boy dragging him away, as Hyungwon passes out. 

"LET ME GO! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!! HAHAHA!" screams Kihyun between laughs, Hoseok  remembers his self defense classes applying pressure to key points in the neck,, careful to not actually kill the boy. The boy is out and Hoseok checks for pulse which is there, he runs to Hyungwon that is still out. 

"Hyungie" he whispers checking for a pulse that is a little faded 

"Hold on a little, were going to the hospital, stay with me" says Hoseok giving him a piggy ride, the boy doesn't even move. Hoseok decides to take Hyungwon's car since is safer this way, he drives breaking at least 25 traffic rules getting to the hospital where the nurses take him inside, they check for any internal damage and ways to stop the bleeding from the external wounds. Hoseok sits in the waiting room, praying nothing bad happens to him, the doctor informs that there's nothing wrong and he's stable now, Hoseok thanks him walking to the room noticing Jooheon talking with Minhyuk about something, Hoseok ignores them, he finds Hyungwon with bandages sitting as he stares at the rain. 

"Hyungie" he says and the boy turns relaxing when he finds Hoseok. 

"Wonho" he whispers opening his arms for a hug, which of course Hoseok gives him, petting his back feeling how scared he must have felt. 

"Why did you go there?" he asks letting him go a little, Hyungwon smile fades. 

"He send me a message, I went there after hearing what happened to his grandmother. I didn't know" says Hyungwon scared, while Hosoeok hugs him again. Hyungwon thinks about the way Kihyun reacted, he has never seen him like that or act so violently. Hyungwon once heard a rumor that the reason why Kihyun went into therapy was because of his anger issues, that he was in such a bad fight the guy almost died. He never witnessed until now and he does't really want t experience that ever again. 

"He's not going to touch you ever again" says Hoseok and Hyungwon breathes holding the older close. Jooheon decides to go home since its pretty late, getting a feel that he knows someone in the room he just passed by he returns finding Hyungwon and Hoseok getting really surprised when he notices Hyungwon's state wondering if he was assaulted. 

"Hyung? What happened?" he asks worried that someone might have tried to take advantage of Hyungwon, Hoseok turns to find Jooheon standing in the door. 

"Why don't you ask Yoo Kihyun?" Asks Hoseok serious, Hyungwon hold him. Jooheon remembers the rumors, staring at Hyungwon state, feeling like they cannot longer trust one of their friends. 

"Why were you there? especially after the news he got?" 

"HE SEND ME A MESSAGE" snaps Hyungwon reaching for his phone, showing them the last message he got. 

**kiki: hey can you come over? I need someone right now. :c**

 

They read the message totally understanding that he wasn't expecting to get beat up by one of his best friends. 

"Kiyun needs to stay away, is like he's not him anymore" says Hoseok turning to Hyungwon that stares into nothing, while Jooeon nods but also feels like something is not right. 

\--

Kihyun opens his eyes in complete darkness that surrounds him, his head hurts like crazy. Kihyun stands up slowly since he feels everything is shaking, he can also feel a sharp pain in is hands, he slowly walks to the light switch finding a trace of blood that prolongs to his bathroom getting really scared. 

"Whats going on here?" he wonders feeling the breeze finding his door open, he closes the door noticing  Hoseok's motorcycle outside.

_"Wonho_?" he asks himself, walking outside but there is no one in the empty street, neither is Minhyuk since his car is not parked on the house next door, Kihyun tries to fathom what is going on and decides to get inside closing the door, almost tripping with the blood. He goes for the cleaning supplies hearing something upstairs. 

"Hello? Wonho is that you?" he asks leaving the mop, Kihyun walks upstairs cautious since he hates surprises or scary things, kihyun stays close to the wall so he can feel somewhat safe. The door on his investigation room is open, he gets inside finding a disaster, everything is destroyed all his hours and hard work went to the garbage in a couple of seconds. 

" _Kihyun what did you do?"_ he asks himself, when it suddenly hits him back. The memory comes back like a bulldozer, remembering grabbing Hyungwon and hitting him almost breaking his legs. 

"Oh no, Hyungwon" he says trying to call the younger but he can't find his phone, he tries to search for it on his room, investigation room and even in the bathroom he almost broke his legs but is no where to be found, Kihyun decides to run to the hospital, is not even close from his house but he doesn't care. Nothing is going to stop him, not even the rain it takes him like an hour to get there. When he arrives panting and wet his friend is not longer there, he sits in the waiting room feeling like dying. 

"Kiki?" asks a familiar voice turning to find Jooheon.

"Where is Hyungwon?" 

"He went home, Hyung" says Jooheon noticing Kihyun's damaged hands, he gets closer but Minhyuk out runs him hugging Kihyun while Jooheon steps back, nodding he walks away noticing Mrs. Yoo on his way out, completely ignoring Minhyuk hugging Kihyun. 

"Your hands are damaged" says Minhyuk 

"Is that all you care about? didn't you hear? I almost killed Hyungwon, fuck my hands" says Kihyun feeling completely bad. 

"Everything will be okay" 

"How can you say that? Hyungwon could have died, Wonho probably wants me dead, nothing will ever be the same" says Kihyun pushing Minhyuk away.

"Then what the hell do you want me to say? everything I say or do, fucking bothers you is not my fault your parents are dead or your grandmother is dying. Sometimes i feel like you don't even want me close. I'm just trying to help you, but is just too hard talking to you. Yoo Kihyun" says Minhyuk walking away, Kihyun looks at him go he goes to his grandmothers room, holding her hand trying not to cry.

\---

Hyunwoo reaches the voicemail for the forth time, wondering if Kihyun is okay. Overthinking that something bad happen to him, Hyunwoo puts his phone away walking to meet his friend as he reads the headstone  _ **Park Jinyoung**_ feeling the coldness, thinking about all the things his friend didn't got to do from graduating college to get married and have kids, knowing Jaebum and Jinyoung they would probably have five. 

"I'm so sorry, we loved you so much. I hope you knew, I always miss you but today a little more" says Hyunwoo bowing to the headstone. 

"Jinyoungie my love, please watch over us. I love you, Always" says Jaebum leaving some flowers, Hyunwoo looks at the sky and he can feel it shining a little more than usual, smiling a little, feeling a heavyweight leave his arms, he can finally breathe. 

"He will always be watching over you" says Hyunwoo to Jaebum that smiles at him, following to his car but he doesn't go in. 

"I'm just staying here a little more, don't worry I know this place better than you, keep in touch" says Jaebum giving him a last hug, to which Hyunwoo hold him real close. 

"Take care okay? Jugnang feels lonely without you, see you soon" he says 

"Ditto" says Jaebum winking at him. Hyunwoo gets in his car turning in another direction before returning, to a small beach with clear water and not many people around, he sits in his car observing the little waves that break at the shore, he grabs his phone calling Kihyun. The boy once again doesn't answer, Hyunwoo closes his eyes resting his head against the steering wheel, trying to figure out what's going on when a knock on his window scares him, he turns to find his brother. He lowers the window and his brother smiles at him. 

"How did you find me?" 

"You always come here, or just to. besides I showed you this place, lets go for a walk" says his older brother, Hyunwoo gets out of the car, walking alongside his older brother, they weren't always but since he got kicked out of the house and they had a huge fight they relationship is broken, but he's trying to fix it. 

"Why am I so scared to love him? I can't even touch him" says Hyunwoo 

"Shownu, you weren't show many affections growing up, so of course you are scared everyone is" 

"I know" he says staring at the waves, his older brother gives him some stones, to throw. When they were little, they often just to come at this place and throw stones specially to get out of the noisy house. 

"But you know, You shouldn't be scared little brother, just stay as you are he's going to love you so much. you may forget what hating yourself felt like. I just want you to look deep inside and ask yourself who are you and what is it that you want" says his brother throwing his last stone really weak so he could win, Hyunwoo smiles at him. His older brother has always let him win, he knows since he was 7 but hasn't say anything. 

"Thank you, I needed that" says Hyunwoo his brother nods and starts walking away, Hyunwoo can feel the sun hitting his face deciding is time to be happy again. 

"Hyung?"

"yes?"

"Why doesn't dad want to see me?"

"I don't know" says his brother, Hyunwoo stays put and observes the sea. Trying to understand but is really painful, he reaches up in the sky smiling a little as he thinks about Kihyun. 

\----

Hoseok decides to take Hyungwon home, where his parents await for him really worried. 

"DID YOU DO THIS TO HIM? YOU GANGSTER WITH NO LIFE!!" screams Mrs. Chae taking Hyungwon inside without saying another word to him, closing the door on Hoseok's face not even letting him to explain himself, he decides to get his motorcycle from Kihyun's house, he walks paying no mind to the rain. When he arrives there the door is closed and Minhyuk is standing outside looking at the house. 

"Min?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?" 

"Watching" says Minhyuk without even flinching, Hoseok grabs his key ridding his motorcycle the noise doesn't even affect Minhyuk. 

"Wonho" says Minhyuk before he drives away. 

"What?"

"Why doesn't Kihyun love me?" he asks and Hoseok can feel the pain on his words. 

"Because he doesn't know what love is, you can't force him to be with you" 

"We are going to be end game" he says and Hoseok wonders if he's okay, deciding that for today he has had enough. He drives home, turning to see Mihyuk still standing there, without moving a finger. Almost as if it wasn't the first time he ever did that, Hoseok arrives home taking his helmet. 

"I'm home" he says walking inside to find Changkyun sleeping on the couch covering with a tiny hand towel, Hoseok smiles and goes for an actual blanket covering the boy that grabs his hand, twisting it making the boy whimper. 

"where the hell have you been? I was so scared" says Changkyun standing up. 

"I was out" 

"Clearly" 

"You're not my mom I.m, stop it" 

"Then stop acting like a child" 

"Look, I was helping Hyungwon to not get killed, Kihyun got weird, almost as if he wasn't himself. It was terrifying" says Hoseok while Changkyun thinks about it a little, wondering if something triggered inside of Kihyun's head, something he doesn't talk about. 

"what are we going to do?" 

"I don't know, I'm really worried for Hyungwon. But i don't want to leave Kihyun out, he needs people" says Hoseok sitting in the sofa, his mind changes to Hyungwon hoping that the boy is okay, since he was pretty traumatized with everything that happened. 

"I wonder if Minhyuk has always done that?"

"Do what?"

"He is waiting outside his house, it's so weird I feel is not his first time doing it" says Hoseok 

"We would have to call Jooheon" says Changkyun, Hoseok nods at him and he calls Jooheon that answers at the second ring, Changkyun asks him to come over to which he says he will be there in five minutes. Jooheon arrives parking horribly in the front of Changkyun and Hoseok's House, with a banana milk in hand. He waves at the neighbors that whispers about him, walking inside the house without even knocking. 

"I'm here" he says 

"Why are you drinking Juice?" asks Hoseok 

"First of all how dare you, and second this is banana milk" he says almost as if Hoseok would have offended his ancestors or something. 

"Did you at least bring some more?" 

"No" He says as Changkyun looks at him disappointed, he walks to his fridge graving one. Asking Hoseok if he wants one, the boy says he's okay while Jooheon sits next to Hoseok that looks like he's about to kill someone, knowing really well why. 

"What are we going to do?" asks Jooheon while Hoseok stands up grabbing his lighter and Cigarettes, walking out of the house. The burning sensation makes him feel something other than sadness, Changkyun observes him go sitting next to Jooheon. 

"We don't know, he's dangerous but he needs us" says Changkyun 

"I still don't get it" 

"You saw the message Jooheon, by the way your parking skills truly suck" says Hoseok getting inside, drinking some water, both of them become silent. 

"Jooheon? has Minhyuk stayed outside of Kihyun's house before?" he asks the boy whose smile disappears completely. 

"Did you saw him? or did Kihyun told you?" 

"I saw him today" says Hoseok wondering how many times has he done that before, for Jooheon ask those questions. 

"I'm not sure how many times he has done it, Kihyun has told me many times that he feels like someone is watching him, since he was about 12, I've only seen Minhyuk twice different times" says Jooheon, Changkyun think about how scary must be for Kihyun to feel someone is watching him 24/7, Hoseok wonders if leaving Kihyun out for a couple of weeks is the bet choice. 

"He has a crush on him..that's" 

"Don't say normal, I wouldn't do that" says Hoseok thinking how some people treat that so lightly, almost as if it was something cute to observe someone to the point they fear for their own safety. 

"You know Hyungwon swears for his life, that once he saw a camera on Kihyun's room. But he hasn't seen it since" says Jooheon while the others think about it, the rain outside gets worse making them uneasy again. 

\---

Minhyuk is soaking wet but the cold doesn't bother him, he just observes the house he knows by memory now. The door is closed and he goes inside since there is no one inside at this hour, he feels like home he walks upstairs ignoring the blood going to Kihyun's room, he can see the paint and pictures he has in the walls smiling at the ones he has with him, He goes to his bed noticing the pills on the night stand. 

"He is going with Doctor Han again" whispers Minhyuk laying on bed, not even carrying hes making it wet. He observes the mirror in the ceiling smiling at it, thinking about Kihyun. 

"Keep you eyes on me" he says standing up walking home, closing the door on his back. 

"Excuse me sir, are you Yoo Kihyun?"asks the mailman 

"Yes" he lies and the mailman gives him a letter, when hes out of his sight Minhyuk's smile fades, touching the letter that only holds Kihyun's name, he's going to give it to him later. He walks home noticing Kihyun getting out of a taxi. 

"Ki..." he tries to say but stops himself holding the letter in his pocket, going home. Once there he goes directly to his room and observes the monitors, Kihyun goes to the only room that doesn't have a camera, he gets out with a piece of paper with his name on it, Minhyuk gets the one he has wondering what are they.

"letters? to yourself?" he wonders Minhyuk getting the letter out of his pocket, feels the paper. Feeling like he has seen that type of paper before, he turns to the monitors where Kihyun cleans the house almost with hate, he can see the bandages in his hands stain with his blood, from the pressure. He looks lonely, after what he said he cannot go to him.

"Look at me" he says Kihyun stops and turns around making direct eye contact with the camera, Minhyuk freaks out and moves away. It was almost like that time Hyungwon found one of his cameras and he had to convince him it was something else. 

"That was close" he whispers turning again, Kihyun is not in that spot anymore, instead he's laying on the ground reading one of the letters. 

"I'm so sorry Hyunwoo" he says closing his eyes, falling asleep he didn't even ate all day. 

"He's going back, I have to help him" says Minhyuk watching the boy having a nightmare, holding into the letter as if life depended on it. Minhyuk opens the letter giving it a read. 

_Dear Kihyun_

_\---_

The next day at school seems darker and highly underwhelming to see, Hyunwoo parks his Impala taking his books and walks to meet everyone. They are not in the same spot as always, when  Hyunwoo finally finds them Kihyun is not even with them. He's no where to be found, he walks closer noticing the bruises on his face. 

"Hyungwon? what happened?" he asks making them turn, he has a bothered face of someone that is tired of talking about it for the eightieth time today. 

"I.." 

"Yoo Kihyun did this, I'm surprised he didn't told you.. aren't you two in a relationship?" asks Minhyuk almost mocking him, Hyunwoo isn't really in the mood to confront him right now since he's pretty lost. 

"Did you kick him out? why isn't he here?"

"I don't know, he didn't want to sit here. He feels guilty" says Hoseok 

"He didn't tell you?" 

"Minhyk just shut up already" says Jooheon, Hyunwoo thanks them and walks around the school if they have seen the boy, no one knows where he is. He manages to find him in the library reading a self discovery book. Hyunwoo walks closer to the younger that is just staring at the book, his eyes doesn't even move. Kihyun shows sings of insomnia and weight lost, he looks tired not just about sleeping but in life in general. 

"Ki?" he whispers Kihyun jumps turning to face him. 

"Hi" he says with a monotone voice. 

"What are you doing here?"

"Reading"

"You haven't change the page in 5 minutes, whats wrong?" he asks as Kihyun stands up abruptly taking his things, Hyunwoo can see the bandages on his hands. He catches the boy outside, he can notice the tears running down his eyes. 

"I hurt Hyungwon, I hurt my grandmother... I will probably hurt you.. all I do is hurt others. What if I become someone i'm not, I should be institutionalized.. what if I kill someone one day?" asks Kihyun with a broken voice is the voice of someone that really wants to cry but can't. 

"No, Ki listen to me.. You're not a bad person I know this.. you are hurt and that's okay, because you're going to be okay, you're gonna live a beautiful life and you'll get to know beautiful people. You 'll love yourself, you'll be soft.. just look at how strong you are, you are getting help and i'm so proud of you Kihyun" says Hyunwoo, Kihyun looks at him with hope in his eyes, he steps closer hugging the elder that smiles caressing his hair. 

"Thank you so much Son Hyunwoo... I needed that, you have such a wonderful heart..I hope you're okay and if you aren't now you will be"says kihyun holding him close really scared of losing him, since he has become so close to him. 

"What happened? is everything okay? did something occur?" 

"my grandma is in the hospital"

"I hope she recovers" says Hyunwoo as Kihyun breaks there, he hasn't really been able to cry since he got so mad of the fact that hes unable to help. That hasn't take the time to think about what hes going to do, how is he going to let her go. Kihyun remembers the good memories they had together, and also the bad but the good ones surpass the bad. 

"She's dying... I need to go with her.. to sit and talk.. I hope doing it soon.. I don't want to make her wait.." 

"Can I ask you something?"

"sure" 

"Will you let me be close to you? you don't have to love me or anything I just want to be close to you" says Hyunwoo, Kihyun grabs his face caressing his cheeks.

"But I love you" says Kihyun realizing what he just said, Kihyun blushed madly and Hyunwoo smiles happy and warm that is no one sided. 

"You said it first?"asks Hyunwoo joking, Kihyun lets him go turning away so he doesn't look at him red as a tomato. 

"I don't know what you're talking about" he says as Hyunwoo hugs him from the back, burring his face on Kihyuns neck. 

"I love you, from the moment I saw you" 

"I'm ready for you, I've always been ready for you"says Kihyun realizing how sexual that sounded. 

"you said it not me"says Hyunwoo teasing him, letting the smaller boy go. They make eye contact, getting closer once again, putting their foreheads together even if that means Kihyun getting in his tiptoes and Hyunwoo lowering a little, their are so close their lips are a movement away. 

"I'm scared" whispers Kihyun 

"Don't be" whispers Hyunwoo moving forward the same time the bell rings, Kihyun turns to the side thinking he heard his name. Hyunwoo ends up giving him a kiss in the cheek not what he expected but he is not complaining either, so he gives him more picks in the cheek making Kihyun chuckle. 

"see you later" says Kihyun giving him a kiss in the cheek as well walking to his class. 

"I LOVE YOO!!" screams Hyunwoo making at least 12 people turn and Kihyun laughs, Hyunwoo feels proud and walks to his classes as well, making eye contact with Minhyuk that observes him from a distance. 

_I know your secret_

 

Kihyun finds a note on his notebook, he turns around wondering who could the person be, since is written from a computer. 

 

**~2021~**

 

The hospital room is painfully quiet, Hoseok keeps holding Hyungwon's hand that is cold and some how gray, since he lost a grate amount of blood. The heartbeats are a little faded but he's still holding on. 

"Sorry to interrupt, but may I have a word with you?" asks the doctor, Hoseok kisses Hyungwon's hand and walks towards the doctor that takes him outside the room. 

"How's our baby?" finally asks the question that is been bothering him since they take the baby away when Hyungwon passed out. 

"He....Couldn't make it... I'm really sorry.." says the doctor and is like a bucket of ice cold water along with a slap in the face. 

"Tell me is a lie..." says Hoseok observing the door, thinking in the boy in the bed. 

"we did everything we could... I'm truly sorry.. " says the doctor bowing to him, Hoseok nods and walks inside the room. Leaning in the door he observes Hyungwon thinking about is he going to tell him, how can he tell him without breaking the boy in a thousand pieces. Tears run down his eyes, he really wants to punch someone in the face or trade his life for his son. Hoseok goes to Hyungwon that slowly open his eyes looking at the blurry ceiling, feeling a tickling sensation on his nose, touching a breathing tube. 

"Hyungwon?"asks Hoseok making him turn slowly, he focuses his sight noticing Hoseok, but the baby is not with him. 

"Is our baby okay? where is our baby? he's okay right?" he asks desperate with each question. 

"Hyungie" 

"He's fine right? he's just in the nursery right? I want to see him, take me to him, Please" says Hyungwon 

"Hyungwon...Bumie is not coming home" says Hoseok and Hyungwon loses it, trying to stand up. Screaming for his child, as Hoseok holds him, Hyungwon feels a sharp pain and suddenly passes out again, Hoseok looks at him and his hands are stained with blood. 

"Nurse!!" he screams. 

Changkyun observes Jooheon and Kihyun through the glass the way they talk to one another making him really confused if he's telling the truth or not. Along side  with Jackson, that drinks some coffee. 

"I never trusted his alibi" says Jackson 

"There's something strange about this whole situation, why would Kihyun shot him? he doesn't know how to use a gun" says Changkyun observing Kihyun that stares into nothing while Jooheon reads some files. 

"You were in the house at the time" says Jooheon but Kihyun doesn't say anything. 

"I'm trying to help you, don't make this more difficult than already is Kihyun" says Jooheon reading the details in the file. 

"why don't you trow e in jail? isolated from the world, just like you did in high school, I don't have Shownu anymore don't you think is hard for me too? we had a fight that day so yes I was in the house, I got mad at him! I said that I hated him and now I can't take it back" says Kihyun really trying to remember what happened but everything somehow is blurry up until the point he found Hyunwoo in the bathroom.

"can i trust you Yoo Kihyun?" 

"You have to trust me" says Kihyun and one of the officers ask him to step out of the room for a little, Jooheon walks outside going to Changkyun and Jackson that give him some coffee. 

"You are doing great"

"No i'm not, Is just so hard to understand the mind of Kihyun" says Jooheon noticing Minhyuk getting inside the interrogation room, feeling a little confused as why is he there in the first place, remembering they have other clues. 

"I need the letters" says Jooheon 

"I thought you had them" says Changkyun 

"We need to find them now" says Jooheon 

"What are you doing here?" asks Minhyuk sitting in front of Kihyun that looks at him mad. 

"I'm here to tell the truth" 

"That you Killed Son Hyunwoo?" asks Minhyuk as Kihyun smiles at him, but it isn't his usual smile the one is warm and full of life. This smile says something completely different, there isn't any emotions in there. While in the corner of the room Hyunwoo points his finger at him, and Kihyun smirks.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello.  
> I just wanted to apologize for not writing in a while.... my depression got really bad so.. I hope you understand.   
> But i'm kind of back, I missed you. I'm putting my energy into something that I truly enjoy that is writing so everything will be okay, let me know what you think and also thank you all for the kudos even though I haven't been really active.   
> have a wonderful day/night and I will see you around.


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